@lololulu19 said in Condom or Bareback?:
No offense, but as a gay man, you should know more about your sexual environment and health. To wit:
Certainly bareback looks much better in porn. But in practice, guys should wear condoms when having "random" sex. There is no way that I could ever achieve orgasm with a condom on.
The human orgasm is a mostly-mental thing. If you can't cum in a condom, it's because you've convinced yourself that it isn't sexy (or that you can't - a self-fulfilling prophecy!)
That doesn't make your preference wrong - it's just important that you understand that, conscious or not, not being able to cum in a condom is a mental choice you've made, not a physical barrier.
I know of a very prolific escort.. VERY prolific.. who sucks more cock and gets fucked by more cock than you would believe.. from totally random guys. All bareback. He is HIV+, and technically what he is doing is illegal.
That really depends on where you live... in many parts of NV, prostitution (regulated, licensed prostitution) is legal.
My understanding is that one is only contagious if they have full blown AIDS and not just HIV+. But still, I would consider him to be high risk. I would never have sex with someone that I knew was HIV+.
Lots to unpack in those few words.
- a person with HIV (called an HIV+ person) can transmit the virus unless they are on medication that suppresses the virus.
- There are a number of these medications - you've likely seen them on TV: Dovato, Genvoya, Biktarvy, & Descovy to name a few...
- People who take one of these HIV medications - and currently they are all DAILY pills - can (over time) achieve a status called "undetectable" (that is, the amount of virus in their blood is so small as to be undetectable)... but it takes TIME to reach this level of "suppression" of the virus, and you must remember to take the medication every day! Failure to do so can potentially allow the virus to adapt & mutate to become unfazed to the medication - which could lead to your HIV becoming untreatable (aka: deadly AIDS).
- Those who DO achieve "undetectable" are also non-transmissible... that is, they cannot give the virus to others through sex.
There are people who are HIV+ who only have sex with other guys who are HIV+.. but even that is a bad idea, because there are many different strains of HIV, and you can have more than one strain.
While that was once true for a significant population in gay culture, with the success of the drugs above, that is seldom the case any longer - except for the "bug" community: a group of men who intentionally transmit the virus (giver or receiver)... I don't understand this group, but I don't have to... it's their body!
Your comment about different strains is absolutely true, as well... if you're not "Poz Undetectable" you should be playing safe in some other way...
For straight people, I don't understand how a guy can stick his cock into a female without a condom.. because at some point, regardless of whether the bitch says she is on the pill, she WILL get pregnant and you will either be forced to marry the bitch, abandon the bitch... or she will have an abortion. I've never had sex with a female, so I've never had to deal with that.
I'm guessing that you're referencing the fact that condoms are not 100% effective at avoiding pregnancy (or HIV transmission, for that matter!).
There is another "group" that should be mentioned here: people who are HIV- (that is, have never had the virus), and who take a daily HIV medication (in this use-case, it's called PrEP - short for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis).
PrEP as a drug essentially helps your body fight the initial infection from exposure to HIV. The "efficacy" of PrEP (that is: how well it protects against HIV infection when you're having sex with an HIV+ (infected, un-treated) partner is even higher than using condoms!
Finally, it should be pointed out:
- These HIV meds - whether to treat HIV, or as PrEP, are strong drugs - and they are processed by your liver (which is why you have to take them daily)... which can put a strain on your liver AND kidneys.
- People who take these medications typically have to maintain a regular visitation with a supervising physician - in the US, you have to see you physician every 3-6 months. Part of the protocol for both drugs is to screen you for most STDs, including HIV.
- If you're on PrEP and do become HIV+ (likely due to multiple missed doses combined with risky behavior), your drug treatments have to change.
While what I've written here is factual (according to CDC and NIH data), that doesn't mean that you should judge your sexual behaviors solely on this information. I know a small handful of people who use both PrEP and condoms - it makes them more comfortable to know that there are 2-layers of HIV protection, plus condoms ALSO protect against most of the other STD's in addition to HIV. I also know some guys who are Poz Undetectable who still refuse to have condomless sex with HIV- men (out of fear that they may yet transmit the virus).
My point is, this is just data - how you interpret it for your own life and lifestyle is up to you!