Posts made by yababylol

I'm not sure why it is … and I know this problem can get so severe that it actually discourages a lot of us guys out there to stop associating with other men just like us (which honestly ... is a good source of friends and support and an assurance that you may be around other people that can understand you better than a lot of others can). I've heard it labeled the "scene" more times than I can count, which generally just means the places in each little town where we tend to gather together, usually bars or dance clubs. The tone of contempt that people speak of it, though, goes far behind a dislike of social alcohol consumption, and loud music.

... it becomes about the culture we build up for ourselves. The cattiness.

You're right. One of the flaws that is easiest for a gay man to fall into is superficial judgemental nastiness. The fact that we also tend to cultivate talents for cleverly barbed language synergizes with that in horrible ways.

I do think YohioLover is right. When you see someone that tears another person down that they've never met, and they're talking negatively about someone based solely on a 10-second-look from 50 feet away ... you can probably Vegas-Level-Odds assume that the person is trying to draw attention away from their own insecurities, even if it's all subconscious to them. Are any of you heavy, or are friends with heavier people? I'm sure if you're that person, or know that person, you know the experience of the fat person pointing to the EVEN_FATTER person and joking about it.

I've struggled with being both the the abuse-er and the abuse-ee, and I'm at a place right now where I try to love and remember the humanity of everyone. When I can. If I forgive and forget when the 'reptile brain' of others takes control, I'm a lot happier. I've been through enough social soap operas that I've learned that the same basic pieces inside of us that make us tend to verbally tear down those we perceive as "lesser"s ... that's also the part of us that makes us care so much when other people say bad things about us.

Just be.

AND.

Be happy about it!

...there's not a man on this planet who isn't thrillingly beautiful to SOMEONE out there! Find that man, and let him fill every last bit of you up with shining praise.  

Personally, I'm at least 70% top, but … once in a while, I get that itch. And there's nothing necessarily "feminine" about it.

There's something absolutely hot about someone wanting you so badly that they need to be inside of you. And knowing that you control their pleasure and sensation in that moment. It's a form of "control" in and of itself.

There's such a thing as power-bottoming.

I do think he never stopped doing the whole go-go dancing thing and "personal appearances" at big gay clubs and the like, but it's nice to know he's going back to porn.

I have to admit that I find some of his more recent stuff too "produced" and sterile, though. His Cobra days might have been more rocky and difficult for him as a person, and I'm not really defending anything anyone did to use and/or manipulate him during that period in his life … but that porn was hotter. Don't get me wrong -- if it would officially make him happier and have fewer inner demons, I officially wish it had never happened to him and the porn didn't exist. I can't help but jerk to it, though.

... I'm a sucker for twinks.

This is a subject I'm pretty curious about, as I've recently gotten pressure from a companion of mine to try bottoming for the first time, and it's not something I've ever had to worry about in the past, beyond what a normal non-receptive-anal-sex person in the world would have to think of. The thing that's always concerned me is that my … er ... "digestive" schedule doesn't seem to allow for the kind of spontaneity that I keep hearing about anecdotally. I've always had experiences where my bottom knows when and where something is going to happen, but I've never really probed too deeply into any (if at all) prep work went into the "before"s of that.

As far as I'm concerned, the idea of just going bottom's up for any guy and expecting to be CLEAN while not really being sure of what could happen ... that's the most worrisome part of the idea for me. If that's not graphic enough.

I don't mind the idea of bottoming for the right guy and I intend to get some practice, though. Someone please educate me if I'm wrong to worry about this, haha.

MrE …. I think you and I interacted briefly in my thread about "pretty twinks" and Frank Wolf. I can't believe I missed this thread of yours, because it speaks to me!

Look at my avatar, and I think you'll have the answer about me. I do hate labels ... for a long time, I felt uneasy about revealing what I really am to either gay or straight people, because the few times I had tried when I was young and naive (and believe me, I've had a difficult time "choosing" a gender to be attracted to since my very first grade school crushes) ... I always met with confusion, resistance, and even (especially in the gay community) outright hostility. I eventually learned that most gay people (and a lot of straight people) have known at least one guy that at one point used the "bisexual" label as a sort of stepping stone on their personal path of coming to identify as 100% gay. Unfortunately, it has also been my experience that this fact has lead a lot of people to draw blanket conclusions and assume that any male that claims an attraction to both sexes is "lying" or "in denial."  I mean, we've all heard of that biased, bogus study that _**"PROVED" that there was no such thing as a bisexual man, right?

I actually just now tried to find an old Family Guy joke I remembered, where some random character desperately tried to assert that there was a big difference between a "gay" guy and a bisexual guy. I couldn't find it … but it always did speak to me. I know that kind of desperation. There's a kind of identity crisis that people with a strong enough preference to pick a side can never understand, when it comes to that. They rarely have to face accusations that they don't even exist.  :afr:

As I got into my late twenties, I started to realize that even "bisexual" was a label created by a society that obsessed with putting people into little, neat, categorical boxes. I'm very much with you -- I like a person, not a gender. I do like different things in men and women on a superficial level, and I imagine different things with them sexually when I fantasize, and have done different things with them when I've been with them ... but all the same, I can work in that range and find myself pretty open to adapting.

My sexuality is absolutely fluid. I've only realized this very recently, within the last couple of years or so, because I was also obsessed with finding the best label to put on myself. At the end of the day, though, as I fluxuated between attractions to someone of on one gender, then someone from the opposite ... I realized that I was nothing more than a completely blank slate. I tend to be most attracted to whatever gender that represents THE PERSON that I'm most attracted to in that point in my life. We all have these little mini-crushes that mean little, I think ... but in my singleness, they can actually influence the kind of stuff I jerk off to.

I like a person first ... and of course, like any man, I like sex ... but the details of the kind of sex to have with that person generally follows my attraction to the person. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel.  

I've found that many people are surprised to learn that all of that fluidity doesn't necessarily mean that I want to fuck around with anything and everything. My ideal of a "good" relationship is monogamy. I'm a romantic softy! It's just that I want the human being, not necessarily the details of how we fit together physically ... and as I can find both genders beautiful, it's pretty easy for me to adapt my sexual role to fit.

I generally like to see myself in a dominant, masculine role at least 70-80% of the time, though, male or female partner. I'd be curious to know how many men there are out there like myself and MrE ... I think there are for more than will admit it. Society's pressure to "pick a side" has claimed so many of us. :-(**_

It's been said, but … be very, VERY careful. You might not even necessarily like the true end results after a so-called "success." There are guys out there that might be uninhibited enough while inebriated to allow something like this to happen, but there's always the morning after, when the reality of what they've done becomes more immediate. Some may go into a kind of crisis mode. Even if you manage to suck that dick once, it could still mean the end of your friendship.

Here's what I suspect the truth is: sexual identity is as much about perceptions of social ideas, roles, and the fear of stigma as it is about desire.

For most 'straight' men, they aren't even close to as LITERALLY disgusted by the idea of a little sexual interaction with another man as they might claim (a little too loudly) while making 'fag jokes' with a bunch of straight friends at a bar. I think that what really keeps them from ever trying anything with another guy, at least for some, is that they fear "what it would mean" about them. They wouldn't want anyone to find out, and they would even be afraid of the validity of their own identity and self-perception if they let something like that happen.

But, in their heart of hearts, they're not NAUSEATED by the idea. Maybe there's even one or two male friends they have, even a gay one, who they've gotten to trust and feel comfortable enough that they could even see themselves enjoying getting a blowjob from (having someone like you enough to literally WANT you to put your dick in their mouth is an ego booster for all men, and straight men get a lot less of it than we do, sadly -- it's a turn-on for them to be worshiped). This is especially true if all they have to do is assume a brief, no-pressure, no-expectation sexual role that borders on nothing more than assisted masturbation --blowjobs or handjobs. As long as they aren't the ones servicing another dick, it's easier on their perception of their masculinity. For some reason.

So, maybe you could get lucky, if your friend is someone like this, just teetering on the precipice of almost-curiosity ... and he trusts you and likes you enough that you could maybe just barely tip him over the edge enough to give it a try. Let's assume all of that is true -- it's STILL pretty risky. What will it be like between you two after that? Let's say he doesn't freak out after his excitement is gone with the cum in your mouth that first time, and it even might become a somewhat regular thing ... wouldn't it still be awkward in the in-between moments? Wouldn't it change things? Could you honestly tell yourself that YOU wouldn't start to feel more attached (I know I would), if you have both an emotional and sexual connection with him all of a sudden?

Consider the variables before trying anything, that's the only advice I can give. I also have a few friends that have had some positive, regular experiences with "straight" buddies. These are the sorts of friends that can control themselves enough not to fall in love, though, LOL.

@agogpry:

I think he is the best model from BelAmi ever. What is your opinion?

I have to agree with you in that he's absolutely beautiful, almost a perfect bottom.

I'd love to see him completely smooth (he tends to leave a bit of natural growth, which is fine, but I'm curious to see him just bronzed and silky too), and with a truly overpowered, huge-cocked top. Bel Ami has beautiful men, but none of them are quite in the neighborhood of the kind of mega-men I want to see him paired up with.

@chubchaser:

I am sure it wouldn't be the easiest thing to deal with, but I think I would just try and be friends with him. It would be better to have him in my life than to just have him as a memory.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're speaking from the perspective of someone going through something like that himself?

Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just speculating.

I'm going to have to disagree, though … I've done the whole burning-a-candle-for-someone thing before, and the only thing that has ever helped me move on was that final stage of simply not being around that person anymore.

It royally sucks, but if there's a way to permanently turn that switch off in your head that made you love that person, other than coming to outright dislike them through bad turns of events .... I don't know of it. Or maybe it's just me.

Distance is what heals in love situations that can never be resolved. Why throw yourself (and your heart) onto the daggers of your own personal tragedy past the moment you can force yourself to stop?

Personally I find it difficult to categorise a particular porn studio as the best.. I'm more an actor driven person rather than genre-based studio fan, and my taste is far too vast to restrict it to just one studio. I do however have particular studios am drawn to based on their models

For my twink cravings I adore a lot of the men Staxus has to offer, whilst for my rugged men desires I enjoy a lot of Lucas Ent models, as for jocks am partial to Bel Ami and Randy Blue.

To say I download a lot of stuff from those sites would be untrue. I hardly download lots of stuff from any particular studio, but I've noticed I tend to go back to a lot of videos from the above mentioned sources frequently as the men they featured in their videos which I own are more to my taste/preference.

Wow, you took some of the thoughts right out of my brain. 

I didn't think there was anyone quite as diverse as I am. It's fun to be all over the map.

Something like that happened to me a little while back. At least, even if I don't think I was in "love" with the guy, I was getting there. I liked him a lot.

Long story short … it didn't end well. We were kind of drinking buddies, and .... well, alcohol lowers inhibitions, and men of all orientations and identities are horny buggers. I got into a habit of getting a bit gropey while we were both inebriated (him too), and things kept progressing. One night things hit a new level, the memories were a little too strong the next day, and we haven't spoken since (it's a complicated situation, there were a number of other, unrelated reasons too).

I still sometimes wonder just how far I could have taken it if I had been patient and tactful and bided my time, but bottom line ... most men who identify as straight, even if they'd never admit it in a thousand years, have had idle thoughts of letting another guy do things like give them a blowjob. Thoughts are one thing, though ... actions are another. If they could never be comfortable enough with themselves and their own sexuality to actually go through with it, if they just couldn't shake the spectre of social stigma --they're still effectively straight (i.e., don't even think about trying it unless you want to endure some of the greatest drama in your life).

My advice -- if you're positive he's straight (be honest, don't let wishful thinking get in the way), do your best to not focus on these feelings until they fade away over time. Get yourself out there, find some more realistic love interests, guys that may actually like you back! Fake it 'til you make it (it will happen eventually, I promise, it's part of the human experience), and see if you can really "just be friends" with the guy, and really believe it in your own heart.

I understand that it may not be possible to keep him in your life and accomplish that task if you really feel like you're in "love" with him, though (I've been in love, so I know). If you just can't heal while still being exposed to him constantly, the best thing you can give yourself is distance. The sooner you can make yourself move on and get over him, the better. There's no point in tormenting yourself with all the pining. Don't be dramatic and pouty and mysterious about it; just do your best to gradually pull away in a gentle way. All of a sudden you're super-busy, right?

I know that's easier said than done! I wish I could take my own advice.  

They're both hot, it's not like they can't get each other pregnant …. why not? If I had a twin like that, I think I would. Difficult to know, though.

I'm for letting anyone who wants to screw each other, SCREW each other. We need to live more like bonobos. End all war, ya' know?

I have to put in my vote for Staxus … it wasn't that way for me in the past (I'd probably agree with more of the guys above), but I've been in a major twink "phase" recently.

Staxus has a way of putting out a lot of beautiful, smooth, twinky bottoms just getting plowed bareback by tops that make them look like tissue paper. That's my favorite thing to see. Look up Tim Law.

As a very bearish type …. I have to say that it seems pretty common for bears to go for other bears, which is a sad thing for me. I'm pretty much drawn to slender, petiter, smooth types myself (scrawny or feminine even "twink" is my ultimate type right now).

It seems to go with getting into the culture of it at all. I have this theory that among men attracted to other men, we all do our best to sort of "become" what we're attracted to. And, for better or worse, with the tiniest bit of natural body hair it's pretty darn easy to convert-to-bear (put on some mass, fat or not-very-lean-muscle, stop shaving, then pretso-changeo!) I have a friend from high school who I never would have pegged as a bear type that has undergone a transformation in the last couple of years, with a beard reaching down to his chest and 30-40+ pounds of body weight added. It's a shame, he was so cute as he was.

So, I'd go so far as to say that someone who likes bears is more likely to strive to look like one.

Alas, I think that goes for a lot of the standard types as well. Jocks go for jocks, trendy hipsters go for trendy hipsters, twinks for twinks, yadda yadda. It's sad because I definitely want my scrawny smooth boy, but it's not so easy for someone with my build and body hair to retro-fit down to "twink" status.

There are bears out there that are tired of being shoehorned into going for other bears, though, believe me. I'm one.

Hm, Sebastian Rhodes … thanks for the name. He's definitely a beautiful twink! I'm never going to be a twink, I was built too tall and big (not to mention that I'm 90% a top and I like to be bigger and stronger and masculine in comparison to my partner, the dominant role), but I can see why you'd aspire to that. In fact, I'd go so far as to say if you're modeling yourself after him, you're probably very much my type!! We should talk, LOL.

That said ... the more I think about it, the more I realize that what I mostly wanted was not necessarily to find more LIKE Frank (I can simply keep my eyes open for "pretty" twinks along the line of what I'm thinking of). What I really want to do is find out more information about Frank Wolf himself – I should have made the thread all about THAT.  

If he's no longer with us and he can't continue to share his beauty with the world, maybe the least I can do is collect all of it into a central collection in memory of him. I'll reach out to some other sites, continue to search, and keep looking. I'm already in the process of it.

Once I get a solid compilation of everything I could locate, I will most definitely make it available here. So ... if anyone else is as sad about him and as intrigued as I am, please stay tuned. If anyone has **_more information or more media surrounding Francis, please get in touch with me. You can reply here or send me a private message.

Thanks!    :love:

_**

Hm, yeah, I'd say we're definitely not talking about the same "type." To me, too much muscle tone officially pulls them out of the twink category for good. I would have said that even early Brent Everett wouldn't have triggered the twink-label in my brain (I'd refer to him more as a swimmer/jock). I think we'd both agree that your avatar is a beautiful example of a twink, though. Who is he?

Frank Wolf (poor guy) and similar is definitely what I'm out there lookin' for, but I expect some difficulty finding it. I think you're right – there's probably more active performers out there close to this, it's just that the exact 'type' I'm describing is rarely pinpointed as a unique category ... so I'm not sure there's a term for it. Maybe I could coin one.  

@ozyme:

That is so sad.

He is a beautiful boy who deserved to live a much longer life!

I downloaded that torrent you suggested, thanks for sharing. If anyone has anymore of Franks work please let us all know.

It really IS sad.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees what an unknown gem he is! I'm not sure I've ever seen a more beautiful face ("cute" isn't a strong enough word) … I've found many pics of him through simple Google image searches, usually with him playing dress up (he does the cosplay thing VERY well).  I haven't yet managed to find any more videos beyond what's posted here, though.

Do you mean like a Brent Corrigan/Brent Everett pair up (Only maybe if Brent Corrigan was slightly more effeminate twink?)

What about…Tommy Anders and Jesse Starr?

Well, I have to specify that I'm not sure it's even possible to find a video of a twink as pretty as Frank Wolf (which is what the thread's really all about) in action with anyone but another twink. I'd be blown away, honestly … the smoothest, cutest, "template" twinks always seem to get paired with other twinks. Maybe it's their preference, who knows? I know I can't blame them for it!

That said (we're not really talking about the same category of performer anymore) ....  I know exactly the old Cobra scenes you're talking about. They were hot, I agree (Brent Corrigan especially, but I like 'em both). I had to google Tommy Anders and Jesse Starr, I'd never heard the names. They're not bad-looking boys, sure, but I'd still have to say those are pretty much examples of twink-on-twink. It's just that you have one slightly-more-muscular twink with another that's more of stereotype of a twink. Who can say for sure, though? The range of overlap for different labels seems to be pretty wide, because it seems like everyone has a different opinion.  

Bottom line ... not quite what I'm talking about. Brent Everett in his current form, as he is right now, with Brent as he was years ago (he's still hot, just in a more masculine non-twink way) ... that would be closer to what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it's nitpicky, I know ... but it's also so rare! I'm a larger, thicker top myself, so I'm really turned on by the thought of such a submissive, pretty bottom like that.

… this has definitely evolved to become my ultimate type. I'm talking about guys along the lines of the deceased model/cosplayer/amateur cam-porn-er Frank Wolf.  :love:

There's a poorly encoded (but still required viewing for anyone as into this "type" as much as I am) video pack torrent uploaded to the site right now of Frank Wolf, by the way.  I guess this thread has a double purpose in that I'd also like to ask if anyone has any more of Frank Wolf, and have any details about what happened to the poor guy? I can only gather that he committed suicide over homophobic bullying in college. I think it's so sad that he cut his life short -- by all accounts, he was a sweet, nice guy, and I'm sure he could have had his pick of millions of suitors to just love him forever.  :cry2:

You can see the only current torrent of him we have here --> https://www.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=c9040214515be12a6057094b228e603eaabc14d38f0438e1

Seriously, guys … if I can find more of him specifically or more similar to him, I'll upload it myself and share the love. Better yet if they are in action, but partnered up with a larger, more masculine guy. That kind of match-up is much hotter to me than twinks paired up with other twinks, which is generally far easier to find. I don't really mean the whole "Daddy/Son" paradigm, either. That's different; I don't necessarily want to see someone substantially OLDER than the twinky bottom ... I guess bottom line, a super-twink with a very-not-twink.

Thanks for your time. I'll share more Frank that I've found if there's any interest, too.