@semurg30 I think the problem here is that couple is in denial. While its fine that the woman is using a dildo on her husband... they can't portray themselves as being "straight" when they are into an activity like that. They need to get over themselves.

Maybe you shouldn't come out in that situation. Your safety is more important than being accepted IMO.

@orhaqi123 I think you nailed it. I know a guy who was quite insecure about his looks. He started working out, and the results were amazing. He was not sure if he really looked good, but was admiring himself. I reinforced his ego with detailed comments about how great he looked - not just bullshit. He greatly appreciated that, and has told me so a few times.
Many guys who are into fitness and looking good tend to be gay or bi.. probably because females are not as stimulated visually as men are. When something looks good, men notice much more than women do. That is probably why the overwhelming majority of painters are male.

of course, sexuality is a spectrum

For me, I never gave a fuck about coming out of the closet. At that time, Madonna really helped me with how I perceived myself and how I stood up against the norms of heteronormativity. And to this day, I still don't give a fuck. Either you take me as I am, or you can go fuck yourself. Sexual orientation, gender, race, creed, and so on are very small parts of who you are as a human being, relating to human beings, or in the name of human beings because we're all made up of many collectively as we're all a part of the human race.

But, that's just my two cents. 😀

I never really came out to my family. Never had "the talk" with them. I was just me, and lived with my "roommate" for so long and they put 2 and 2 together.

@sfsfsfv

If i were in that situation, it would depend on how bad the situation is.

If it were places where you could die or be sent to prison, I would be extremely careful, generally.

If it's a place that is generally conservative, but unlikely that I would die or be sent to prison, I would be more likely to come out.

Either way, I would not be openly gay to the wider society.

Obviously coming out is different to everyone, but I found that different situations meant that I was "coming out" multiple times. So what I mean by this is that whilst I told my close friend group and felt relieved because I was able to be more "myself" around them, I also came out to my parents, and work colleagues on separate occasions.

I'd say that in 99% of situations, it's better for your mental health, but it also isn't for everyone as well. My personal experience was that I didn't feel like I could come out to my parents until I was independently away from home with a solid car and a job for fear of being kicked out and disowned like all the horror stories you hear of. That's certainly far from what happened, but sometimes you just hype yourself up that way and it was a huge relief lifted off my shoulders after feeling like I had been hiding my true self.

I also adopted a strategy early on that I wouldn't hide and if anyone asked if I was gay, I'd tell them straight up and not dodge the question, but if they asked if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't make excuses or anything, just say no, and if people pressed and asked why, tell them straight up I liked guys. It was much better than hiding and dodging and less tiring trying to fake a smile when someone would say "no worries, mate, you'll meet the right woman soon".

There was a running joke at work for a little while when I was in a relationship and my work colleagues noticed my mood lifted and they kept asking me, so who's the lucky girl, and I'd just joke and say "Me!". Because I was playing coy they termed me "under new management" and were very surprised when I introduced my then "boyfriend" as "new management" 🤣 We all had a good laugh and life rolled on because everyone through i was straight and it became an in-joke for others that didn't know in the building that didn't work in the team I was in.

Yah, in a gay couple you get to share clothes haha

@flozen oh.. and I considered that he might be catfishing me.. but.. that is not the case. I am 100% sure that it is him messaging me, and those are photos of himself.
He seems to send me stuff everytime he shaves his pubes and balls.. which is when he is extremely horny.

@Virtuorgasm6 My understanding of Indian culture is that before coming out to your parents as being gay, make sure you have already made out your will.

@nydude25

Actions, not politicking.

@hotmuscletwi

An important aspect to your sexuality is that it is ultimately no ones business but yours and those who you interact with, and those who -you choose- to tell.

Do you feel an obligation/compulsion to announce/come out to them?

As @bi4smooth said, make sure you have a support circle outside your family and immediate family in case things turn south or your sexuality is discovered or exposed.

Caspita.. coraggioso!
Io il mio primo rapporto sessuale gay l'ho avuto a 33 anni ed ero fidanzato con donna da 7 anni circa. Gli ultimi 3 erano anche di convivenza.
Riconosco che quando ero lanciato nelle chat gay, la presenza della mia compagna mi innervosiva. Avrei voluto essere solo e gestire questa cosa senza dover nascondere nulla.
Però mi rendevo anche conto che spesso queste voglie omosessuali mi passavano e non ne sentivo più l'esigenza. Quindi ci ho messo un pò a capire che caspita dovevo fare.
Per un paio d'anni sono rimasto con un piede in due scarpe. Incontravo uomini e la sera tornavo a casa da lei.
Per quanto il sesso tra due uomini è decisamente più lussurioso e godereccio alla fine non lo trovavo più così appagante.
Di fatto rimasi con la mia donna senza sentire più la necessità di incontrare ragazzi. Non fu necessario fare coming out.

@anythingold Thank you, that actually cleared something for me.

@dadesnine Currently - always none. Everything seems pointless.

In most instances I would say no.  It's part of someone's private life.

I would only be tempted with someone who acts against the interest of LGBT+ people as some kind of internalized homophobia. And mostly I would try out them to themselves, and see if they can get help dealing with it.

my thing now is i make not so subtle statements indicating to it like if they ask if i have a girlfriend i say "no, but i also dont have a boyfriend". because rarely do people can upfront ask you "hey are you gay?" in a professional work setting

I have been very lucky because I didn't lose any friend (real friend, I mean) when I came out to them. They accepted me in the same way as before knowing I was gay.

The curious thing is that I "lost" some acquaintances who didn't accept me being gay. Obviously I did not even worry about them because they were not really friends and they showed that they were not my friends because they stopped talking to me when I said I was gay.