@bluehue:
I find it's easier, more polite, and ultimately more effective to just use positive language.
No fat or fems = Preference given to fit, healthy, and manly.
I personally avoid the people who use excessive negative exclusionary language.
But hey, I'm single. What do I know about meeting nice guys…
That's what's thinking and gonna post.
Why don't people just list their preferences? It's a big enough hint that way as well…
@myrea:
I always find ironic how the community stigmatizes itself, straight looking gay men became a fad here too, and well I always laugh when they call fems as if they were inferior, because from where I am standing; first a hetero will always find those same straight looking gays effeminated because yes some try to hide their flamboyance and well it keeps coming out ahaha, and second there is the stereotype, second it takes much more balls to be a fem gay man than a macho one… and well we have the age gap issue too, and let's be real noone is as cruel to a gay has another gay, looks for most are all that matter and then they wonder why their relations last 3 months if that.
I agree, especially with the part about it taking more balls to be fem. People don't realize just how hard life can be for fem guys, and also that they're just being who they are naturally. My BF has a friend he has known since childhood who is straight but acts a bit fem and has fem mannerisms, it's just who he is. Someone at work tried to out me by starting a rumor. It must have been a good one and believable because I had to fend off some 50+ guys. The times I stuck up for myself in an aggressive way, the other person backed down. There was jaw dropping and stuttering and no more problems from them. Not the place to be out sadly. My co-workers tried to intimidate, threaten, and harass me so I'd leave. I'm still working there and they can all shove it up their butts! Prior to that, and still outside of work, people assume I'm straight so I get to hear all the "hidden" bigotry and it's so annoying. That experience was the worst, but I'm glad it happened to me even though it's a big source of stress in my life. I've learned so much from it. Too many straight acting/macho gays are clueless. If they ever thought about what it would be like to have slurs shouted at them, or possibly be assaulted, for simply being themselves, maybe they'd have more compassion and be kinder to fem guys. They probably never think about, or know, how many times a day/week a fem guy might get hated on. Yep, life sure is easy when you can blend in go about your everyday life without dealing with bullshit from homophobes and bigots while hiding behind the veil of faux heterosexuality. Nothing "macho" about that. Non-white LGBT people have a special place in my heart too. Racism still exists, and being gay can be tough enough as is. It's the fems, trans-people, and drag queens that fought, and still fight, hardest for our rights. They deserve respect! I love ALL of my LGBT people! :love: