@poltergeist:
Well, I've been growing up with a saying that "heaven lies in the foot of a mother". I'm sure mother's love knows no limit, but I'm unsure about my mom. I live in Indonesia, and here they treat most LGBTs like some sort of sickly, mentally disturbed people. They judge us, without actually knowing us but don't make any attempt to know us personally nor even willing to treat us humanely. Now, my family also embodies a certain degree of religion values. I asked them once about how they view about homosexuals, especially since this is a trending issue here lately, since these people start to raise their voice, demanding their rights to be valued and treated equally, and they said these people are damaged. They said that I shouldn't be anywhere near them, thinking it's contagious, so… yeah, I think coming out to them won't be so easy after all. I'm unsure how would they feel about me if they ever find out that I'm actually attracted to males... I think it would devastate them, particularly my mother. Whether I tell them or they find out about it themselves (which I don't plan that to happen at all costs), the outcome would be the same... I think :cry2:
Even if they did, they probably won't talk to me for certain period of time... They would come in terms with that, but probably will take a very long time. I don't know... I'm not ready to tell them yet...
Wow. And I thought Poland is a conservative country
Hang in there bud.
Maybe you should leave ? Go to Europe, to London, get a job. If they don't accept you. I just don't want you to waste your live in the closet and in the fear. If it's like in Russia then that's very possible. Ever thought of it ? Maybe not necessarily Europe but somewhere nearer. I mean, you won't change. That's who you are. Maybe changing your environmental wouldn't be such a bad idea. And if you got a good work you could really live your own. Maybe you got a friend somewhere with whom you could start or stay a few weeks until you settle.
My mom is a total christian. Like REALLY. She said that I won't ever be happy. I heard her praying under my doors when I was sleeping "for it to go away". Yeah she thought that it's some kind of curse. That I can pray the gay away and through the advices and rehabilitations make myself straight. I thought she lost that hope already : D Through the time she just got used to it. Not entirely, but it's enough. Hahaha she kind of rececntly told me while we were chatting about my friend that I should be with her cause she is such a good, wise girl instead of chasing those stupid men hahaha. But she was in touch with my ex-bf. She liked him, she texted with him on facebook and stuff I know it's probably like a gay heaven to you now but it wasn't like that always. It's what we worked out through the time. The most important thing was that I didn't give up and I was very stumble. I never came out to people with those puppy eyes saying "there is something I need to tell you… maybe you won't talk to me anymore". No. That's not a way. You don't come to people as an underdog, you don't have nothing to be ashamed or to be sorry about. You don't let them scream at you or put their lectures over your head. You are proud. You are brave. You are strong. You go with I'm gay either you accept it or you don't but the faster you do the faster things will go back to the usual, cause that's not gonna change - I'm not gonna change.
If you did decide to go to another country you could always send them a letter if you are still afraid. They could think about it while you were away and combined with yearness they would miss you and want you to come back and find understanding. If not, better for you not to have any contact with them.