Posts made by rickydrexel

I'm starting to believe that I have a phobia of hooking up. For the last few months I have set up countless hookups, and haven't went to any of them, or backed out at the last minute. I am definitely not a tease, but I just can't bring myself to do it anymore for some odd reason. Do you grow out of hooking up at some point or am I just being weird?

I prefer oral! But if I have to have anal sex I prefer to top. But only because a lot of guys don't know what they're doing when they top.

@raphjd:

I don't consider being gay a "lifestyle", since we are just as varied as heteros are.

It's a culture.

Im more of a black boy addictionz fan myself, but its damn near impossible to find those torrents online.

I really don't understand what is so alternative about being gay? Why is it considered an alternative lifestyle and not just a lifestyle? Who set the standard for what is and isn't a normal lifestyle? I am by no means an activist or anything of that nature but I am highly bothered by that term when referring to the way I live. Feeling kinda annoyed right now, especially with the things I have been experiencing from straight guys lately.

So, for the most part, my being gay has never been a big issue in the church that I attend. Of course you hear comments regarding gay people from time to time, but never directed toward me, or coming from anyone that I admire or really hold in high esteem. But recently I was called out by one of the men in my age bracket at a function and I asked this question then, and am going to ask it now. What does sexual orientation have to do with your belief in God, or a deity? Are we not supposed to believe in a higher power just because we are gay?

Thanks you guys!! 

I was just wondering how long does a person keep that Lurker Status before it changes to something new? Also how do you increase your reputation points. Been on the site for a little while and still have that Lurker status.

@allyigator:

@rickydrexel:

Whats BLM??

I'm assuming Black and Latino men.

Good guess!!

@pornofan:

The kind of thoughtful and wise comments in this thread are exactly what helps the world and the people in it.

Maybe he just wants to be friends, but with jealousy and cocktease. Does he think you'd like to suck his dick? Jack off with him?
Watch him have sex alone with himself or online while you watch (such as, watching him with another)?

If he thinks you'd like these things, does that freak him out? What would he say if you explained, "I really like you and I
think you are hot and I would be completely frustrated and screwed up being in constant contact with the man who sleeps
in the same apartment/house and gets naked in the shower and puts his dirty undies in the wash and freaks out when I even
look– or lets me look and lets ME freak out."

What effect does he think his body and sexual needs/interests have on you? If yr not physical together, does that stop either
of you from dating/sexing others? Bringing them home for noisy sex without the roommate? Is the connection something that
would interfere with either of you having another relationship? Or is this a "safe" way of avoiding all that messy emotional stuff
and inconvenient wet spot?

If you are an out gay man and he is an out straight man, what will his strait friends think about him shacking up with you?
Does he care what they think? Do they already think he's getting some relief from you, even if Your friends do not think so?

Perhaps you could have a talk about your sexual histories. When did he first get some pussy? What is his favorite position?
Has he ever had any sexual contact with a man? Has he ever wanted to? Would he invite you to a threesome with a woman?
More generally, how confident is he about his body and using it and being seen doing so? A man who may like flashing his
giant schlong in the lockeroom and boasting about his conquests and prowess and staying power may also completely freak
at the thought of any such revelations being made to a man who is interested in his manhood for other reasons than
bluster. "Hey, everyone, I'm a stud. Look at this. HEY! What are YOU looking at?"

Somehow, I get the anger as an acceptable emotion that can hide other things, such as what he really wants or is afraid he
wants. Or is afraid you want (or do not want) from/with him. But it sounds as though maybe he can send you a dick pic for
him to lure a female for copulation, but may not be willing to have you respond with the kind of interest he wants a woman
to have. And it sounds like The Sex Talk has yet to occur.

Lots of gay guys have emotional attachments to close strait friends, and vice versa. Some strait men are sufficiently
confident that they will poke anything that feels good. Others recoil in horror because that would "mean" something
unmanly or wrong. Okay, I will move in with you, but let's be clear, I want to provide all the sex you do not get from a
woman. Just filling in whenever you want it, and you'd better want it a lot.

Worse, sounds like maybe you'd like him to stick it in yr butt. Now that might make a guy freak out for sure. Hey, I'm no
f.... I will do that for a woman, but not for a man. And don't get any ideas that you're going to degrade me into being a
fem in bed. Or touch your dick. Okay, I might touch it if I get carried away, but don't get any of that nasty stuff on ME,
you hear? And if I spooge in a tissue, you better not pick it up later and do something disgusting with it.

No, seriously. Forget whether he thinks yr gay, whatever that means. Writer Gore Vidal believed a man does what he does
and if it's gay sex at one moment, then he's doing something gay. And if he's doing something else next, then he's doing
something not gay. It's all in the action. What action does your friend think you have in mind? If he is jealous of being
neglected now, how will he feel when you trick and he comes home drunk and without a pickup? All this about what HE wants.
What do you want? What does he think you want? What does he want you to want? What do you want him to want?

Lots of those things can happen without moving in together and keeping each other cruelly frustrated. Maybe he thinks things
will evolve to a place he wants but does not dare admit to himself or ask for. Dangerous currents for that voyage, with
a chance of hurricanes and typhoons.

Depending where you are and how you feel about "better living through chemistry," drinks and smokes and Empathetic pills
can increase volubility and emotional honesty. But don't you think it would be a good idea to sort things out while they
are still short of 24-Seven commitment?

One more thing. If sex is Not something that has come up as a personal matter for the two of you (together or apart/with another),
is that because you are not interested and afraid to lose him as a friend? I beg you, think carefully. He very possibly does
know you want his orgasms but even if he stands there with a pillar in his pants, won't do anything until you take responsibility
for your horniness and is just waiting. If you come on to him somewhere, some time, in a safe and private place, what would he
do? Attack? Flee? Say he's flattered but no, thank you?

If there is a shoe to drop, drop it. Have you ever been naked with him? Changing room? Showers? Speedos at a pool? Are you
allowed to look (as long as it is not mentioned or acknowledged) but not allowed to touch?

Something is going on here, but it's pretty clear you do not know what it is, and I'm betting you need to find out. And that will
take two brave men being serious about their lives. If he is not willing to be that open and honest, better find out now so you can
cut him loose (which he seems unwilling to do for you-- not a good sign, selfishness) and move on.

Very insightful comment. I still haven't made a decision on whether or not I will move in with him. He wants me to move in and help him raise his daughter whom he has supposedly told all about me, but only refers to me as daddy's friend. I have come to terms with the idea of just being close friends, and don't think I will push for anything further. Dealing with straight men is too much of a headache for me. At this point I don't think that I will cut him off, and we have had multiple conversations sparked by this forum concerning our friendship. He is fine with us living together and seeing other people but wants to meet them first. I have also to date seen him have sex with a female and just him naked. I actually have a few pictures, and he doesn't seem to care. He just laughs at the fact that I have seen these things. As things progress I will be sure to update. Thanks you guys for your interest and all of your help.

Whats BLM??

Not really understanding the seed bonus points for invites. Invites to what??

I read the comments, and almost got upset, but let me be clear because some of you are taking my words out of context. First I am not glorifying bottoming in any way, and if by saying that I feel that it takes a real man to bottom is emphasizing my feminine side then whatever. I stick by my word. This is my opinion.

I have a major foot fetish. A man with nice feet just does something to me. Especially a black man with nice feet, which is something i'm not used to seeing. Also I like to watch people get breed. But don't really do it unless i'm in a committed relationship and monogamous.

@ulises3177:

@hean:

1. I will try not to bring the sex topic up. And if he cant help it, I will try to make the conversation non-sexually.

2. DEFINITELY NO. I want our future relationship to be built upon feelings, but not sex. How can I marry him, create a family with him if all he wants from me is sex?  ….  And frankly, once u easily give urself out, he will take u for granted

I'm confused. I thought sex it was compatible with feelings  :hug2:.

LOL!! You so funny!!

@raphjd:

It's what I call the "happiness syndrome".    It has a proper name but I can't remember what it is.

People are more attractive when they are happy.    It's the way it always works.

I always tell people that if they are looking for someone, then they won't find them.  They need to stop searching for Mr/Ms Right and be content with their life and they will come to you.

Sadly, it also works when you don't want it too, like you've found out.

Also, the devil you know is always more secure than the devil you don't know.  No matter how bad it was between the 2 of you, it's more secure than the unknown.

This is so true!!

@raphjd:

The Air Force is full of christian nazi-ism.   In fact, it's got several pending/on going lawsuits against them over this.   The other branches are better in this respect.

As for being openly gay in the military, it seems like it's a matter of location/unit.

Well so far so good here. 10 years of navy service and my possible husband is active, and nobody cares. I have met his chain of command and already am being treated like a regular spouse. So very well!!

Why is it that every time i meet a nice guy, one of my old flames wants to come back into the picture!! We didn't work out, and I am doing just fine without you, but now that you see me happy, you want to come back and prove your love!! Get that shit out of here!! This is real life, not a movie!!

@bear1515:

No, there isn't such things. You will love anyone that is attractive enough, and is a match to you. You can consider this True Love, when actually, if you lived somewhere else, you would find the same thing in someone else. There are more than 7 billion people around the world, so of course there is more than 1 person who you can feel "true love".

And love at first sight is something stupid, it's just that people have the tendency to confuse Love with Attraction.

Like I said, it's just that someday you will find someone who is attractive enough and nice enough so you can settle.

Hmmmmmmm!!!

@Sphygmotsu:

I think the earlier the better; in fact, I think waiting until they "understand it" is way later than it should be.

Early exposure makes it more likely they will 'accept' it and not use it as a point of resentment. Further, as alexandyr85 says, most kids aren't stupid. They probably already know, or at least suspect, unless you don't see them often, which I hope is not the case.

Just tell them, but personally, I recommend doing so in a way other than "let's sit down and have a really serious discussion", I'd try to find a way to bring it up in a casual conversation that has a lead-in, like LGBT rights or watching a TV show that has an LGBT character in it or the like. It'll make it less awkward for both of you.

Agreed!! Thanks!!