Io non ho mai sentito la necessità di sposarmi. Lei neanche.
Quando abbiamo deciso di andare a convivere abbiamo fatto una festa con un piccolo ricevimento e poi un viaggio, come fosse un viaggio di nozze.
Fu bello vedere entrambi le famiglie attivarsi per terminare i lavori nella nostra nuova casa entro la data prevista del trasloco. Organizzare la festa, le tappe del viaggio..
Fu un pò come organizzare il matrimonio, ma senza lo sbattimento della cerimonia e i rischi legislativi che comporta.
Da quel dì sono 14 anni che conviviamo senza problemi..
Or, in English, he said:
I have never felt the need to get married. Neither did she.
When we decided to go to live together we had a party with a small reception and then a trip, as if it were a honeymoon.
It was nice to see both families take action to finish the work on our new home by the scheduled move date. Organize the party, the stages of the journey ..
It was a bit like organizing the wedding, but without the hassle of the ceremony and the legislative risks it entails.
Since that day, we have been living together without problems for 14 years ..
In my own experience, marriage is a construct that was largely based on keeping mothers and fathers together for the betterment of their children. That certainly didn't mean all married couples HAD to have children - but it is instructive to know that in some religions, it IS expected - and that being barren (unable to have children) is a legitimate reason/cause for divorce/annulment in most of those same religions).
I was married once (and had kids)... we're divorced now, and I will not seek "marriage" again... though I would like to find another romantic partner...
Communication, Talk, talk talk - about everything and anything - Even death and funeral arrangements or cancer etc etc.
Don't let sex be top priority or it will erode everything you've built.
Try always to see from each other's perspective, and it's ok if you don't absolutely like the same things - just don't be condescending about it or harbour nastiness - otherwise, you're harbouring destructive traits and you really should live alone (as you will find this in every person you grow with)
In ways of supporting your partner, sometimes, you might have to sacrifice your patience, or some of your time, or time with your friends, to be with this "best friend and lover" , but nothing too drastic -
As long as each partner aims at putting forth 60% to care for each other, then there's overlap for when times are super tough.
As your relationship transcends years as opposed to weeks, you start to acquire history. It can be overwhelming as you might wonder what you might be missing looking at the green grass over yonder. It's nothing, you're not missing much at all. You also will have to start ALL over again from the beginning, only to survive 3 years more with the new guy before you find out you don't like it every time he smells his fingers after he eats chicken ;)
You should also talk to your partner about monogamy (if that is what you both seek) and revisit this subject every few years. WE men do tend to get a tad boring, so sometimes a relationship needs reassurance that the sex hasn't become something that isn't working anymore or is no longer "enough" - People do change - or … People finally show their true colours.... :(
Agreed to raphjd's comments above, with particular attention to whether the domestic partnership law legally entwines you in any financial aspects, present or future. As well, was this partner named in your medical Living Will? For receiving the disposition of your remains? Is he in your estate's will? (And if you don't have those documents, for heaven's sake, get them drawn, no matter your age.)
The formal dissolution of the domestic partnership is a prudent step to protect your assets and formally reestablish your "single" status. It will likely require filing the related paperwork at City Hall or other state agency. Consult a lawyer in the city/state where the partnership was signed – you may both need to "co-sign the divorce," fun, fun -- and then know that you're truly free and clear.
Only be in an LDR if there is strong potential for the long-distance aspect to end. For example, waiting through college. Otherwise, it is not worth it. After all, you don't want your lifestyle to just be LDR.
I think it would be rough. Unless the woman was hyper sexual it would lead to the men constantly fucking each other and then constantly talking about how their wife never wants to have sex and how difficult women are, and then the woman is over there starting to think her husbands are just gay.
Your view on the sexes is really stifling for both. Women aren't emotional jelly and men aren't rutting beasts.