Posts made by Gianni89

I think everyone faces that question in their own time and their own way. I agree there are some situations where you need to apply caution, not everyone is all that enlightened. But to the people who matter to you, if you feel strongly they need to know you have a choice to make. Be aware that not all relationships survive it, but the ones who do can grow closer than you ever imagined. It's been said "Be true to yourself", just keep in mind everyone's truth is different.

Most of the people who genuinely love you will not give it a second thought, as they know YOU didn't change. Some no matter how close they are you may never tell. you have to learn how to accept that too, especially since you are making that judgement. Keep in mind that there will always be a certain level of "don't ask don't tell" involved in your life depending on what your chosen profession is, mainly because you can't always control the ones you are surrounded by in such settings. You CAN however construct your best and most rewarding personal life, you CAN choose your friends.

I suggest if you have a particularly close open minded friend, you start with them. It can really help to have at least one supportive person with no axe to grind to help you sort things out. For me it was my adoptive older sister. Good luck with your decisions, I wish you the best.

I totally believe there can be a split between who you love and what REALLY turns you on. But my question if I were you is this, if gay porn turns you on so much can you really live your entire life without ever actually experiencing it? Next, if you were to actually experience it and LIKED it, then what? I think the only person who really needs that question answered is you (For the purpose of your original post) If there is some part of you that yearns to feel what they are feeling in the videos you owe it to yourself and any future mates to discover the answer.

I have had flings with DL married men (not intentionally) who went the denial route, got married only to find their curiosity never went away, and once they experienced it they found they would have chosen otherwise. THAT is grossly unfair to the women they married, in many cases kids are now involved - they deprived the woman the chance to make her best decision, and now if they leave she is left to try and find a new mate with 2 or 3 kids jamming up her pimp hand. Bad idea. They also encounter some hostility in the men they encounter, certainly had I known in advance they were married I personally would never have considered them, for all of the reasons already outlined.

The fact you are here asking tells me you likely know what you need to do. Always follow your gut.

I disagree, I don't think we will see it in our lifetime, but two or three generations ahead, certainly. If the world has managed to save itself from obliteration that is. Look at the leaps made since just the 50's! Hell at the rate of straight guys having gay sex.. there may not even be Gay/Straight by then. The lines have become quite blurred not just in gay porn, but in private society. You would be amazed at what a woman will live with to hold onto her man. Funny though - not so much the other way around huh.

As far as the rest of the world - well I hardly think they are really waiting on "Western Values". Europe has been decades ahead of America where sexual freedoms are concerned. There are still those nations who's religious zealot regimes will fight to the bitter end, but even they will eventually fall. It isn't just "Gay Rights", it is evolution. Think about it, perhaps if more married men were off fucking their buddies on the weekends the divorce rate would probably tumble for the first time since the 60's.

The only thing that will stall it (not stop it) is apathy. People becoming complacent because they became too comfortable, THAT my friends is why we have "President Trump". That's right, people got fucking lazy and the knuckle draggers managed to vote a glorified game show host into office. If he is still there after this next election we all need to hang our heads. THAT was totally avoidable, but nobody ever really believed it would happen. We have become a people so caught up in our day to day "Social Mugging" that we have allowed a bunch of "C" team misfits take over our affairs. 

It's true, there was a time the world used to look to us, that time has come and gone. Yes, I think one day there will be global human rights that include same sex marriage. But nothing good ever came without a price.

:afr: Get help.

LOL yeah I have a great adopted family, although I did keep my baby sister when I divorced the rest - I talk to her daily. My older "adopted" sister far less, but mostly because she is too tangled up in the "Husband of the month".  I haven't spoken to my youngest brother since 2013 - and I am good with that, he is a pious little bible thumping asshat. My Mother said she was fine with me being gay so long as I didn't do anything gay around her - so yeah we don't talk much. I had a fantastic adopted Mother long before that little conversation so I haven't really missed her much. My man and I travel a lot for work, we see "family" mostly at Christmas, and that is usually more than enough to hold me for the year lol.

Well if we are talking openly then yeah. I'm it. Although I have to laugh because most people still can't wrap their heads around it because I don't "act" gay.. thanks to sitcoms like "Will & Grace" they apparently all think ALL gay guys act like Jack. They were all betting my youngest brother was gay for sure because he totally fits that stereotype. I do have one long estranged uncle on my Father's side who was totally under homo-suspicion, he was very strange and evasive when My Father would go to visit him, would never allow him to stay with him or even come to his house.

One way attractions never work out well, forget him, delete his info so you aren't tempted to even try because trust you are only going to hate yourself later. Find a new tutor, pay for this one, at least you won't get sidetracked. Never make anyone a priority in your life when you remain a mere option in theirs. Jesus, I'm Ann Landers. :afr:

I am wondering why you think you are going to be relegated to sex toys. A few years ago while I was in grad school I rented a flat from an older guy, say 60 ish. He was good looking, a few extra pounds - sort of average but very pleasant company. The guy was getting more dick than any five hot twinks I knew! He found a "groove" as it were. At the time, he posted on Craigslist for anon married guys - no strings hook ups. DUDE! Seriously, he was getting pounded some times three times a day. No exaggeration. He also had a bevy of first time teens who had daddy issues - my point is - maybe you are tossing in the towel a bit prematurely?

Sex toys are fun I suppose, but hardly a replacement for a hot human. But if you are intent on such things - there are a lot of vids on Pornub https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5604d294c292d with guys loosing their shit on chatterbate, I think it's called Ohmibod?  They seem to really REALLY love it. Nipple thing - not sure.

Sounds like you are having a time of it right now.. I know it's tough when you first come out - or maybe you aren't "out" yet. Either way, hard as it is some friendships don't survive and you can't change that. You are still you - they are the ones with the issue. Give them time, not everyone has great life coping skills - just continue to show them you haven't changed. I hope you have a close friend you can turn to right now, it's always a bit bumpy and scary at first but I PROMISE you it gets better.  :hug:

The most happy and successful of gay men are just living their best lives, at the risk of sounding all "Oprah". Being an "out" gay man does not mean you have to broadcast it to the world wherever you go. No matter what you are always going to run into the dense, and less informed - making remarks and cracking bad jokes. Ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things does that person's poor judgement make them look stupid - or make you look stupid.

Be yourself, understand that who you love or sleep with is not anyone's concern. Many of us work in predominantly hetero fields, I am no more compelled to share my personal life with most of them than I am to publish my financial statements. The straight people in your life who know you best and care about you most - like any other REAL human being will only ever want to see you happy. If they don't, then you need to put some distance between you and just respect that they have the right to remain ignorant and alone.

In short, life has too many challenges to move through it constantly worried about the approval of others. They are just as likely to hate on you because you are happy as they are to hate on you because you are gay. A very wise friend of my Mother's once told me, "If it does not bring you joy, move away from it." SO simple.

I believe it's true. First of all gay men are far more open and honest about things, and most of the most successful relationships are not strictly monogamous my own included. We play with others, but right now at least only together. Lack of fire in the sheets is a cause of a lot of divorces. Secondly, gay men don't typically rush into relationships - well not nearly like hetero couples tend to. LOTS of bed hopping is normal for most gay guys, let's face it - women in particular even now in 2018 don't normally get that kind of latitude without a lot of really unkind blowback. So they wind up marrying the first goofball to whip out a ring with a WHOLE lot of unanswered questions. Then everyone is all shocked when 3 years in she gets busted fucking his best friend lol. Personally I don't believe man was meant to be monogamous.

I call bullshit, I agree with the guy who figures this to be clickbait. First of all, the whole wife walking in on bestman scenario is straight out of some horrid Nica Noelle dreck laden story line, although even she knew better than to use the "stuck penis" thing!  :blink: HOWEVER. If you'd like some factual nightmares I ran across this.. LOL sorry I Google everything.  https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19545124/10-penis-problems/ The "Invaginated Penis" sounded horrible, but there is an industrial accident at the bottom that is… well YIKES!

That's hello friends btw.  ;D Very new here, still learning the rules, regulations and how it all works. This means I will be doing a lot of reading, given that I have a raging case of ADHD that could take some time so be patient lol. Love this place! But seriously someone should do a tutorial video on the entire process and make it downloadable lol, I am a highly visual creature and reading…well OH LOOK a butterfly. LOL I will get there though.