Posts made by warpaint

I started to notice one thing about myself.
I go to the gym… and it's killing me. Okay, when I do my routine I usually close my eyes and just focus on something. When I have a break I will just look around or do something on my phone. But I just can't stop looking at guys. And it's totally killing me. I'm not that of a pervert or something. Didn't do anything nasty in my life. Only go to dates with eventual sex, no hook ups. But I really noticed that THERE IS a problem. Well not to me, but like I would confess it to myself pfff. I really take a lot of time in the locker room. I just change my clothes slowly to be there more than I need to. I would just peek at the guys, if they are back to me I would just admire their muscles and when somebody takes off their pants ... God. No way I won't look. I'm totally discreet but I just can't help but do it. When I go to the showers I take my pants off and swing my penis around. HAHA. Okay not this much but I don't see a problem in like you know showing off my butt... <which is="" pretty="" good="" by="" the="" way="">. This gym doesn't seem to care. But the other gym I was in the guys went to showers with their pants on and they would only take them off to shower. I'm like fuck that I just go with a towel and a shampoo. Don't need any more of a luggage. I also like to you know spend some time in the shower. They are sepereated with walls but you can see cause they don't have doors. I would sometimes look at my neighbors somewhere in my sight or just you know have a good time putting shower gel on my body rubbing it everywhere. My ex as far as I know (but he was a liar so God, I don't know now if that was true or not too lol) he took me to something like Palm Springs. You know a resort and it was like Greek Style and it was all nude and stuff. And he said that nudity is not a big of a deal for him. Well I don't blame him he was carved like ancient God himself and had such a big dong. But he just didn't take it as personally as I did. And he said those people don't too. That this was a kind of region when something like this was normal. I can't be indifferent to nudity. I can't pass a hot guy and just not look at him in a way of you know... and not take a longer look. I wonder where does it come from and should I worry about it. I'm not doing anything bad okay ? I'm not taking pictures, it's not voyeurism I guess and nothing harmful. But I just wonder... what should I do about it ?</which>

Hahahahaa. I never tried it.
I'm moving around in bodybuilding societies (groups, forums) and they always make fun of crossfitters. Like totally Crossfit is gay, crossfit is for pussies and this kind of stuff. Well I just more like the bodybuilding culture and doing the system where I can really observe and have control of which bodyparts I'm training exclusively. I think that hitting the gym in a BB style can easily (well except me) get you massive and give you a quicker progress at some specific areas. While Crossfit develops your whole body like Calisthenics. It's not as effective and you don't grow big fast but it touches every part of your body. So Crossfitters are not big but they have really outstanding physics. It's more of a daily or everyday useness that it gives. Like you would be more sporty and mobile when the world ends while bodybuilders are mostly slow and have problems with mobility. Can't do sommersault or lift their own weight as much.
As for myself - I would like to try one day. It seems interesting and not boring because the excersises change often as far as I spotted people doing it at the gym. But for now I would like to get buff even with some +bodyfat% and also I like huge guys not really with ABS but with spectacular arms chests and you know, overall strength.

Noo…
I don't know what stage you guys are, you didn't say if it's a 2 month relationship or more like 2 years. I would be up for "make a serious conversation". Like really schedule it maybe say there is something you want to talk about and you will appreciate if he finds some time for you to make it happen give yourself some time like 2 or 3 hours maybe and just sit down maybe have a dinner or wine (a little alcohol would be great to let both of you open up more). I know it's stressing having such big talks but it is necessary for you to feel good in a relationship right?
Plan what you wanna say. Take a paper and a pen and write down in points things that you want to talk about or that doesn't make you feel good and what you would expect. See that list everyday for a week or so and each time think if there's something more you want to add or remove from it. Once some time passes and you will be sure what you wanna say, try to say it. But don't bring it up when the conversation is on because if you will talk with him in "points" like you totally planned every single word you say he might feel a little bit cheated cause he was unprepared for the chat. The good side of it is, if he is unprepared he won't make excuses but maybe say what he really things. Just be open not acusing and give him some empathy but at the same time stand your ground and don't let him mislead you and continue things the way they are. Just a serious talk between two guys in a relationship. Everyone has to do it, it's essential for a relationship to work and for both sides to feel good and know what to expect of each other. Then after you talk just think about results. Don't know if you talked with him, but you probably didn't have that much of a big talk since you're writing it here and ask us for advice. If he still doesn't care - you have your answer.

Sounds cool. How does it affect joints? I have problems with knees sometimes (if I run too long) putting so much pressure as hitting the ground with a power every half a second could be a problem so I'm just wondering.

nuff said

but yeah, use google and reddit. as simple as that.

Other than push & pull I was always taught to start with FBW (Full Body Workout) for all the amateurs doing their first weeks of workout. I also agree it's a good thing because it's pretty universal. No matter what your target is. If you're going for the muscle grow  I would switch it then to a split system and then maybe push & pull and figure out what works best for you.

No cardio  :-X can't let those calories run away !

It's okay to be a little distant at first. But please.
I had a similar problem. My ex's ex was a stalker and I was getting shit from it. I just wanted to have answers like "when you will call?" or "when can you give me this info?" and he would consider it being pushy, stalking and even abusing. I don't know how long and how close you and your partner are but please. If it makes you insecure… just stop. The point that he's making - that he had an abusive ex, doesn't really excuse him from being an asshole. And I think he is one if he makes you feel liek that. And I know you will deny it : ) I would do it too and stand in his defence, but let's face it. Ask yourself some real questions and be 100% honest with yourself, and if you really will be you will see I am right. Why would you be the one to lick his ass and earn his trust ? Did you do something to lose it ? Did you ? You will live like that with him for what period ? Always treating like an egg and trying not to cross the line. You want to continue a relationship as fragile as that? He will not break up with you cause he knows no one else will put up with a bullshit like that. But it's your life, I'm just advising as an older fella with probably much more experience in this field.

Your boyfriend will be there but tomorrow he might not. If he cares about you he should want you to be happy. It's not like you're doing a sex change. You want to get buff a little. The most important thing is for you to be happy with yourself. Your body. Your emotions. Your self. That's fundamental so don't let anyone take it from you. Do what you wanna do because after all and in the end you will be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life.

I've seen a few people on dating site mentioning it.
One of them was like the whole wall of text (it was a couple I guess) and then there was that last sentence "One of us doesn't have an arm since they were born" and I was like "aha". It was kind of funny writing about all the expectations they have and all the details and then going like "oh  and one of us has one hand". Like it's a big deal but it's not at the same time. It shouldn't be. But it still is. Hm, still can't figure it out. Some guy I saw had just a profile pic on the wheelchair, and I think that was kinda cool. "This is how I look. It's not who I am, but this is how I look, and that wheel chair is a part of my appearance" at least I took it that way. I kinda feel sympathy for guys like this. I think you should be upfront with it. Well it's like with being gay. We tend to say and shout that being guy doesn't describe us as people. So you don't introduce and say "I'm Josh, I'm gay", the same way you wouldn't say "hi, I like your photos, I'm disabled" but on the other hand it's such a big info. Someone might feel disappointed or just cheated if you don't say it.
For me it's like with other guys. If a guy is disabled and not my type well, just no. But there are some disabled people I find attractive. I guess I follow two or three of them on instagram, and they're post are really great. One guy is on a wheelchair and still hot. You know it's like it's easy to let go when something happens to you and while the disabled thing doesn't describe you as a person it probably reflects itself in your insecurities and lack of confidence. But there are guys who take care of themselves, go to gym don't get a belly despite being immobilized and that's really attractive. They're full of energy and infect you with it. There's also a guy (bionicguy) who has an artifiical leg and well… you wouldn't tell. He's such a pro with it, always hitting gym and just looking fucking badass and I would totally date this guy and that's hardly a disability in my eyes.

The bed. Always. Ahhh. Just love the comfort.

Besides jacuzzi full of people was cool.
Would liek to try gym showers too one day.

Geez, so many of them. Most recent though:

@Zeitgeist:

He began crying halfway through sex because I "reminded him too much of his ex". I immediately stopped whatever I was doing because I felt nauseous. He then said that he missed his ex and asked me to speak in a Scottish accent (because his ex was Scottish).

Yep, this was the worst time that I ever had during sex.

Oh no.
<cringe>Geez I feel for both of you.
Awkward enough for you but that guy has had terrible time too. Lol.
But that makes me kind of proud that I didn't find anyone like my ex yet xDDD</cringe>

@Zeitgeist:

Ultimately, it's calories in versus calories out. As long as you are in a deficit (either due to dieting, intermittent fasting, or cardio), you will start losing belly fat. I would also think about squatting and doing anaerobic exercises which will increase your muscle density, because the stronger your muscles, the higher your metabolic rate which will burn more calories even when resting.

Wow. It's like the only comment that makes sense here. Sorry guys but it's just awfully sad to read some of the things when people don't even know what they're talking about. Just cut the fucking calories I don't know what yet are we talking about here. Diet + cardio eventually stubborn fat protocole 2.0.

@spam17:

@warpaint:

21, I'm 24

What is it?
Too less or too much?

22 now.

I would just sum it up in main points.

1. Fuck. Everybody started. Fat, skinny, average. Nobody was born with ultimate muscles, everybody had to start at one point so pointing fingers at that would be… answer yourself.

2. People will thumb you up with you work out really hard. It's really inspiring even if you think you're fat, if you give all your best and as you said "mind your business", and you won't even notice them. The other story is if you just go to the gym nad be on your phone or do one repetition per 30 seconds. That's what people laugh at. I was concerned about the gym too, but guys there are REALLY nice. It's like if they will punch you in the face on the street - the same guy will come to you and just tell you how the exercise should be done with a smile on his face.

3. The shower thing. Well everybody sees your body anyway. If you hide it under shirts, blouses, jumpers, you still have it. So why should someone be surprised if you're naked under the shower. I was like you, I wouldn't even pee in school bathroom. Not mentioning swimming (in pants) or just taking shirt off. I gained a lot of weight since I was very skinny few years ago. Well... the shower now is the thing I look most forward too. I just love Men's Bathroom. I just love the scent of it. The atmosphere. The testosterone. And I will fucking go around the place naked (haha not always, I'm not making anybody uncomortable with my nudeness) and just you know look at hot guys and just present my body in front of them I just love the shower. Ah.. The naked men all around you... and you get to see all of them in their glory. Which wouldn't happen in "normal" circumstances. Some of showers are actually seperated. I've been to a new gym today and it was like 4 showers in a row but they were seperated with solid walls so.

4. Don't give a shit. Actually... do you ? I don't. Really. Do you even care what others say ? Why does it bother you so much ? Just don't give any fuck because you really stress about it too much.
Well my idiot ex said one thing to me. This was actually the only good thing he said but anyway:
"life is too short to be shy" - and this is such a fucking point of many things. We think so much 'what do I wear' 'how does it make me look?' 'should i ask about it' , FUCK just enjoy and don't waste your time on earth for things that are ... actually pretty normal.

USA, particularly LA or California. Other than that maybe UK, Germany or Switzerland.

Thanks for the kind words guy. Will look here sometimes if anyone gives me maybe any good advice? Maybe it's time to go to psyhologist? I'm really thankful for those two responses.

Grandma didn't make it…
She died in the hospital.
I just want to keep my family strong. There aren't much of us left but when somebody cries I just don't know what to do. I realize that I'm the less affected. I will miss her so much. All of her stories. Her jokes. Her laugh. Her energy. But I've been through worse. I really feel bad writing this... it doesn't feel right. But I really been in worse states when my heart was broken and when I was in a breakdown which felt really more like end of the world to me, than the person passing. Maybe that makes me an egoist. I don't know. But it's so awkward. I want to make this right. This situation. This life. But I don't know what to tell them. How to act. How to face their sorrow. I feel powerless.

@Oscarbingham:

6 months,I was in a sect, it was awful.

Really ? Tell us more.

I'm really sorry. But I really feel the need to just let it all out. Not gonna post such personal stuff on Facebook… so this just seemed like the best place to do it.

Since I was child everything seemed like not enough. I was struggling with depression, I so desperately wanted to have friends, I had like hundreds but I wanted more and more cause I always felt a little lonely. Since I can remember I also wanted a white knight on a horse just to save me from all of it. But let's skip to more recent things.

I always had a crush on straight guys. Never worked.
I just fell a pressure from a world to be something.
Everyone seemed to enjoy their life. I know a lot of people just put a mask like i do.
But everytime I would bring on a topic of how weird life is, nobody would  actually relate or know what I'm talking about. Everyone just seems to be so easy-going about everything that's happening. Then more responsibilities kicked in. Then people started dying. My dog. My family. Then I got to an age when even my friends started dying. And that was really havey for me. I was never good at heartbreaks either. It always affected me pretty much. I think I just wasn't expecting life to be this bad. And all that hit me I just reacted pretty hysterical. But I thought I kinda accepted that life is not fair. Long story short. Still heartbreaks, still depression. When I was studying all my efforts went to having good grades. I didn't cheat on exams I was just trying to learn stuff and it really took a lot from me cause it was very hard. I was so devastated I got an uncurable diseases that happens when you deal with an overwhelming amount of stress for example (and that ain't no mangekyou sharingan bitch). But I carried on. Then my father told me he has cancer. I was always distant to him cause he wasn't ever there. He was just to help with money and fixing stuff but nothing more. He actually could die. Then I found that he also has a woman and another child which is like fucking 10 yo and lives in the same city and we didn't even know that. I had a boyfriend and I had a kind of cool time. It wasn't something exciting but it was very peaceful. But after a year we broke up. I gathered myself and at the end of semester I actually remember the time when I was just smoking a cigarette with my friend. We felt so free. That's why I sometimes smoke. It reminds me of that moment. Everytime there was a stress or we were after an exam we would just smoke and chill for 5 minutes. I know that's how addictions are born but I'm not doing it regularly - only on certain occassions. Anyway, I thought I have it all figured out. I came to terms - I was happy with myself, with friends I've got. With the life. I felt at peace finally. And then... I met Him. It started innocently. But fuck. I fell so hard in love. I never knew any feeling like that. I never loved somebody like this. We had few tries. But it destroyed me so much. He gave me so much motivation and energy. I wanted to be better for him. I was able to do 3 trainings a day. I just wanted to be enough. The first time he thought it's not working well I just remember being in my depression again. I felt so fucking horrible. Like a nightmare. I didn't want to contact him to impact my feeling on him. So I just remember staying in capital in a house that wasn't even mine for a week and just... just trying to handle. Then when my brother's ex fiance (which was pretty fucking pain too, cause we all loved her) would come back from work we would just sit on the balcony and talk about stuff and try to hope that there WILL BE better times. She's now in filipino with the love of her life and I'm still here. Anyway, when I wasn't done grieving the breakup I found out my brother is in jail. In fucking China. Well. I'm in Europe. He didn't come out yet, but that's another story. Just imagine all those things at once. Then as I said some of my friends also passed away and I was just lost again. Like a child I was before. He and I (and we were 7hours away) met because I was going to make some business in his city. His feelings came to life. We started dating and I was so happy. He was everything to me. It shouldn't be that way. I had it all figured out before he came but once he did life was just never the same. He broke up again and found a guy quickly after. They are still together. They just moved in recently. I was living all that time with a ounce of hope for a friendship that he gave. I trusted him that we can be friends and he can act appropiate. But it wasn't working. All I did was hurt and hurt more. Everytime. Everytime I thought about them during a night, when I saw him on messenger and knew he's not gonna text me, everytime I released a song about him and I knew he listened and told me it's such a great job but he didn't take a second to realize that it's all for him, or when he bailed on my birthday cause his boyfriend got flu. And when I met him on the train accidentaly I realized when I tricked him that he didn't even plan to meet me. Even though he said he wants to be friends, even though he actually messaged me that he hopes we will see each other and when we were choosing particular day and hour for our meeting together. He didn't say no. He played me and that lie wasted my days, my time, my hope, my nerves and he knew, all along he knew he's not gonna come. And I had such a hard time understanding. I asked him WHY? Why did you do that? Why did I deserve it ? And he just said "... I don't know". And even tho he's such a major douchebag and a fucking lying moron I didn't find anyone even close to his level of awesomeness. Everything he was at the begining for me or everything he is now for his boyfriend nobody even came close to this fucking dick. And that's another terrible fact to face in this life. I just can't stop thinking about him. I try do move it away but sometimes it just comes to mind suddenly and catches me offguard. Like thoughts that he was always "mine", everybody knew about him and now his parents probably know the other guy already and all of their friends know their a couple and their telling them "you're such a perfect match" or "you look great together" or just how they live together in one house or how they sleep while just what felt like a day ago it was just the two of us and no one else. Just the fact that he can forget about or just turn down so easily everything we were and what we've been through. So that's the shit I'm dealing with and I was supposed to work on my thesis and a lot of other stuff and I'm spending days at my grandma's cooking her dinners and wiping off her butt. While they... ugh. I just go on facebook or on my phone and even though I have lot of friends or lately I've been recognized by few really popular Instagram accounts with thousands of followers I just feel like I have nobody to talk to. My grandma fainted and had to be reanimated. Now she's in the hospital. And that MIGHT be another person to lose. I'm waiting for my brother to come by train and we will figure out what to do next.

I know that people have worse problems than I have. I know people have probably less money than I have. But I also know people can be happy despite that. Just what I'm doing wrong? I'm trying to find the passion in what I do. I have hobbies I'm dedicated to them. I was once in a church for 10 years. But it's all not working out for me. I'm finding less and less joy in everything I do. Believe me, I'm really trying. But everytime there has to come bigger and bigger shit to deal with. Like it's not enough. Everybody says there will come a better time. Everybody said that they're too in love and struggle with the same problem so I'm not alone. Where are they now? They're in new relationships. In love. It's just not getting any fucking better for me.
Sorry just had to let it out.