Posts made by TwjT3NEc

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"

In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."

One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.

When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you."

She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything."

The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job."

She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."

Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes! I'm single and I'm Catholic!"

The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley."

The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.

The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?"

He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied…I'm married and I'm Jewish!"

The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan…"

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.

There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

Thought maybe our fellow citizens would like to know who were we talking about. Just happens I meet him the other day while playing.

@mgr:

@raphjd:

Personally, I prefer if people are going to upload full DVDs to upload the Video_TS folder.

Overall, I'd rather have full dvds, than rips.

I've seen a lot of rips with very low quality, even though they have a pretty big file size.

EDIT: The reason I prefer Video_TS folders is that my seedbox doesn't support transfer resume on files over 2gb.

I agree completely with raphjd, my reason though: my torrent computer still runs with Win ME (an ancient notebook with external HD) where files above 2 GB are not possible.

Maybe I should re-think about my habits, considering those "problems". Just in case.

@bsxboy:

and I'm a bi from

SLOVENIA         (not Slovakia)  

Who would have guessed.

@raphjd:

Yep, the Skingrad bulter problem.

It can't be fixed on xBox through the console.  The makers {Bethesda} say to start over and hope it doesn't happen. The worst part is they reported knowing about the issue back in early 2006 and didn't fix it.

Some tips regarding this I found.

Xbox 360 and PS3 users afflicted with this bug cannot fix it and will be unable to buy Rosethorn Hall. Although the problem is not common, it may be wise to deal with Shum as early as possible. Also, spending less time in Skingrad and the surrounding area reduces the chances of Shum falling off the bridge. Using multiple saves is always recommended. You could also spend your time in Skingrad during night time to avoid him falling over the bridge.

@aaliass:

@TwjT3NEc:

For those interested, you can get various of blocklists from Blue Attack Internet Security Solutions (BISS)

i downloaded and installed Bluetack…..i enable the "Level 1" list....my question : which other list do you advise to enable apart from the Level 1  ???

Sorry for late reply. I forgot about this thread.

Since I'm the paranoid one, I use most of them.

There's also been some pre-compiled lists specifically for P2P on their site. I'm not sure if they removed it because of the server problems or not.

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?

• You only get laid once.
• You only get eaten once.
• It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
• You share your box with 11 other guys.
• But worst of all…. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
  So cheer up…..Your life ain't that bad!!!

Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, I mean day.

In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands…clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.

@davidmaxx:

Unchecked. As you need to upload it to the tracker first and then use the downloaded torrent file for seeding. The original torrent file you make won't work.

edit: full copy of the previous message removed

Happy New Year to you as well.

The list of things better than doing helpdesk could get extensive. But I'll leave that to your imagination.

Nothing wrong, just funny to think that you were trying to say you always have a hard on.  ;D

@mgr:

lol - usually I don't hang off a perch

People might get wrong ideas, if they think that's related to the first post. 

So be careful if you have a parrot.  ;D

I was assuming, those who do know they are using Beta version.

@mgr:

@trukr:

…first beta is available, don't tell mgr.

Also, clients in alpha or beta version should be avoided.

But then, who's going to test them and help make them better?