There are as many answers to those questions as there are gay men. It's all a factor of the individual person and what they enjoy and feel comfortable with.
Myself? I do not have a BF, but if I hook up with someone I am down for a lot of things except actually getting fucked. I consider myself 100% top when it comes to fucking. I don't even use toys on my ass because it weirds me out. However I don't exclusively search out a bottom. I am just as happy with another top who just wants to swap oral or with a couple. I have a bunch of quirks though that most would consider "odd" in a top.. I'm not into rimming at all. I can't force myself to put my tongue near an asshole - even if I know its clean - let alone enjoy the taste. The knowledge that there is shit just on the other side of it turns my stomach.
I don't consider myself 'dominant'. Maybe it's because my dad was a douchebag to me all my life, or whatever, but I don't feel comfortable being forceful and telling someone to "suck my cock, bitch" (even if that's exactly how they want to be treated). I'm definitely not submissive either - though I did recently meet my first power bottom, and it was pretty cool.
I LOVE sucking cock. That turns me on just as much as fucking. Sometimes even more, depending on the guy. As I said, fucking is not a requirement for me. My first three way was with a couple who were looking for oral.. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. And I do not spit.
I trim downstairs because if I don't it turns into a monster. I envy those whose pubes stay naturally 1/2" or less. and it's mainly out of respect for anyone who might put their mouth down there, because I appreciate the same.. I'm not really into the bald look, but I'd take bald over a mouthful of unruly hair any day.
I always wear a condom. It's a personal preference, just like choosing to wear a helmet while riding my motorcycle, even though the law does not require me to. I am not the relationship type, and even though I get tested regularly, I feel that it is my duty as a top to not subject others to anything I may not know I have. On the same note, I find people who list "anything goes" on a hookup profile extremely unattractive. It puts them in the same category as junkies, because it shows the same caliber of disregard for personal health and safety.
Money shots are for video value, nothing else. In real life they are awkward and kinda gross. I tried it one time with a friend.. We recorded a romp, and he wanted me to pull out and cum on him.. Well when I was ready to cum, I pulled out and tried to get the condom off, and it was a disaster to say the least… The ring ripped off, then while I was trying to get the rest of it off, I started cumming in the condom, and by the time I finally got it off me, there was only a little dribble left.. Not to mention it ruined my orgasm.. Never again..