dead or not?
Dead:
That would be Schopenhauer, no question asked. and he can speak my language.
Alive… I can't think of any human worth the bother.
dead or not?
Dead:
That would be Schopenhauer, no question asked. and he can speak my language.
Alive… I can't think of any human worth the bother.
Tinci01 : you need to be careful with " hops" . It can gives man gyno specially if one is already using finasteride ( or duasteride or any DHT inhibitors) and above 30 year old.
I take valerian, melissa, passion flower, scullcaps, californian poppy all in caps form, that's like 15 caps to swallow. Almost zero effect on me but each bottle cost about 10 bucks and last 15-20 days , that I can feel
I think I did that twice in my life, I was around 22 and on the same song that one : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSx1PLHZ3m0 ( hard stuff , the superman lovers ) ;D
my personal feeling about being gay means you can f*** a new partner every night if you feel like it and you dont even have to tell him a word Younger when my job ended at 22h30 (10h30 pm) every night I went directly after to a place where you can do fun stuff : gym like workout then sauna then sex with some young beautiful stranger, and that everyday. that's nice for relaxing after work. In my town there are some places like that. It was cool. Of course now I'm too old for that
I'm afraid to me that's only about sex. Feelings are more complicated for me. soo.. I had real boyfriends (like living together and all) but I'm not sure I ever loved them.
wow.. I can't say much nor advise you because honestly I have no idea what you could do. All i can tell you is that it seems your life up to now was great. lots of people dont even have that. Maybe that can somehow comfort you.. . Thanks a lot for sharing it with us.
ddraytton00 : that's funny reading you coz I'v had same troubles. That's why I wrote some kinda book for the shrinks coz explaining it all when you change that's boring. so now I give them the 300 pages and that's it. I can't tell many things if I can't write so It's best for them to read. insomnia is a big trouble to me. I didnt knew till recently it was related to being autistic. some neurologists say it's because some part of the brain doesn't work correctly and it involves sleeping. As far as I can remember I always had trouble sleeping. But be careful, I could sleep with benzodiazepine like lormetazepam, or Z drugs like Zolpidem / Zopiclone but it's dangerous . I'v been using these for 50% of my life started at 18 ( before that I slept like 4 hours a night taking melatonin in high school) and now I have memory troubles because of that. So the last 6 months I'v been trying herbs instead (valeriane, scullcaps,hops,passion flower, melissa, californian poppy ) and antihistaminic like doxolamine. but it's not as good. so I dont know what you take but over the years it's bad for your brain. I always loved winter as well, the dark ( I hate too bright lights and the heat of summer, I hated going to the beach with my parents as a kid , I was reading my electronic books under pine trees and that's it). I was born one of the days the night is the longest of the year ;D
Domosuke : Yep only now at my age I can seems to be like "okay' for sometime like at work as you and I dont tell most of the time, but that requires efforts and in the end it cost ( anxiety, depression etc) . When I was like 19-24 that wasn't exactly the same story. Coz I didnt talked much in group. ( if at all) . So when I had to go with some boyfriend to see his friends then other people were talking behind my back telling him ( he's strange, he's weird..). Now it's different. I guess with age and experience it's easier ( sort of…). But it only works for limited time. Now if you think it's alright that's fine but I guess that's also because you are young ( arent you?) . Later in life you might change your mind.
npn1024; depending where you live you can be "tested". here in my country we have regional autism research center for kids and adults. you spend like 2 days doing tests interviews etc and then you get a diagnosis. Of course the local shrink can do that as well but it seems many doctors arent really aware of what asperger syndrome is so it's best to see the specialists.( like ddraytton00 said he had to consult many docs before being correctly diagnosed , that was about the same for me). Besides once you are legally diagnosed you can have access to some treatments / help and things like that ( again depending where you live). But for me that was a bit difficult. Many people called me autistic when I was young even schizo.. I didnt wanted to admit that. So I tried to put this aside for sometime but then I had to face reality. In my country like I said that means being labelled and officially recognized as handicapped so It's a bit difficult to admit. I guess in the US that's not the case ( might be wrong ).
ddraytton00 : I can totally rely on what you say, I'm totally submissive and always attract the wrong crowd because of that. I 've also been accused of things I didnt do and then I admit to anything. I can tell you that because I'm writing ( oh yeah english is not my language so I'm sorry for any strange sentences ;D ) but when it comes to talking well that's way more difficult, I usually cant really defend myself or sometimes people misjudge my intentions and I cant explain them they are wrong.. blaming myself for anything or everything that's just me hence I have to take antidepressant since I'm 18 ;D When you said you had to create a dark mind against humanity well I did about the same reading Schopenhauer and Cioran. theses guys think humans are bad, cruel and are happy to see others suffer. I think they 're so right. I started reading them at 14. It was good and not because it made me stay more away from others than I already was. I do love pet as well. I had cats since I'm 5. But my last cat died like 3 years ago. He meant more to me than any other human.
grover59 : Indeed a lonely, cold and hostile place
I'm happy for you that you could be diagnosed at 10. The sooner the better specially before the teen years. And well yeah I was hugely bullied in school too just because , well at that time I was not really talking like them ( around 10-13) ( I was like saying 'sir' or 'lady' to other kids and that kind of things. sure I learned later to use more "normal" language) . Boys hit me a lot and I never reported it because I thought that was normal. Girls were making fun of me either treating like a retard or sexually teased me. I also have troubles with emotions and faces like you. Glad to know you'r okay with this. I'm too but only now. When I was a teen or young adult and totally on my own that wasn't easy. To the point I had trouble with the police and I was fired on my first day of a job at 20 for that. Cause I didn't usually smiled or when I did it seemed it wasn't appropriate.. Now of course I learned, by myself lots of things to do or not to do. I think I'll stay alone now for the rest of my life. I wouldn't mind to have a wife and kid.. but I might transmit this "thing" to a child and I'd rather not and I doubt any women would want someone like me. Besides I doubt I could make her happy, I need to be alone too often. Gays I mean not all but most of those I met are manipulative , selfish and well I have lots of trouble to just lie..so.. (when my mom died I inherited some money.. some so called boyfriend made me waste it all because I was such a naive..) yep I think I'm done with relationship.
Hello,
I thought I'd ask if anyone here is autistic and if this is a problem with relationship or share your story?
My other question would be, what do you think about tv shows/movies depicting autistic people?
Now I'm gonna reply to myself
So I'm autistic ( asperger ) , but because I'm very old (35) I was diagnosed very late. In my country officially at the end of the 90's you could be diagnosed but in reality that was more like around 2005. There was something wrong with me already at 2. But they say to my mom let's wait for when he'll learn to write and read. And because I was able to read and write okay then they said he's not autistic. I consider myself like bi. I'v been reading about sexuality and asperger syndrome. Seems many people are gay / or bi as it seems most like me don't really care about that or have moral views on that matter. Of course at 18 I'v been raped by 2 older guys. Actually they used GHB ( it was legal then). Cause I dont clearly often understand what people want and all. So I learned the hard way ;D Relationship are quite complicated. It was more complicated before I knew exactly what was wrong with me. I thought maybe it's just cause I'm gay but then I realized other gay guys werent exactly like me either.
Anyway, about TV: I'm quite upset about hollywood and stuff. Like it's cool to be autistic or that it means we are some genius freaks. That's like for schizophrenia : Hollywood always depicts someone with 2 personalities ( like Gollum ). That exists yes but it's very very rare ( like 1- 2% of people who have schizophrenia) . It seems they do the same with asperger syndrome. they just highlight some aspect and give people false idea. If I could choose to be 'normal' then I would. In my country I'm considered as ' handicapped' and I'm entitled to get few bucks as such in case I dont have a job. There's a reason for that. Asperger syndrome if you have no family and you lived till like 25 without knowing what's wrong with you (though I decided to see a shrink since I'm 16 coz well I knew I was like 'different' ( I did it without telling anyone coz My father was the kinda guy that thinks if you see a shrink it means you'r crazy and weak, so I had to do stuffs to pay for it…) ), that can damage your life ( lots of troubles in college which can affect your whole life etc).
oops yeah I didnt meant " beau" but you, " TheNewt " what you said it totally true. I'm bi as well and had advices from doctors specialized in gay sex in the Marais ( part of the center of Paris with lots of gays) where you can get tested anonymously for free for different STDs. I also dont like to "receive" that. but licking I kinda like that but wont do it to a stranger, that's only for some rare people I know and not always.
well my father is technically still alive although I can't wait for him to die though the old b**** is 70, rich and can't seem to die soon like my grand father who is around 90, smoked and drank all his life and was never sick. I wouldn't like to die before this guy. My mom died when I was like 15 and he hated her. she died because of him. When I was like 23 I already wasn't talking to him for years ( I left home at 17 for college) he wrote me a letter on my birthday to tell me that well I'm not his son anymore and that's it. I never prosecuted him for making him to pay for my food and stuff because I thought my mom wouldn't like that. But I regret. I couldn't eat every day while he was getting around 15 000 euros/month . When he'll die I wont get a dime because he disowned me. Still earth will be a better place without him.
For some life's not a joy ride. trust me ;D
well he was 16 the first time I f***ed him and now he's 31 ;D he's an ex bf who turned into a BestF . So next year that will represent 50% of his life . I hope to know him till I die. I dont see him much nor talk to him much, but to me he's like my brother the kinda guy I gave my credit card and pin code when I was abroad cause I trust him with my life and well if I'm alive now that's because of him, cause he saved me and picked me up at the hospital later. He is my family as I'm an orphan.
downloading porn is the only reason. If you remove the points you get if you post anything in here, then I wouldn't post a thing
I never ever had any female friend from 0-17 . 18-up I had some female friend coz I told them I was gay ( while in fact craving for fing them, I'm bi ) . I had few male friends from 0-17. After 18 male friends were actually guys I had had sex with (ex boyfriends or just friends with benefits ). Some guys that wanted me to f them but I didnt wanted to were also among my friends. so yeah basically to me a friend is someone that is related to sex
Now I'm old (30 something) so I dont have any friends at all anymore ( yeah well one ex Bf but that's it). Coz as Edmund White says : ' 30 is the age of menopause for the gays '. I think he's right ;D
Being near the asexual end of that spectrum, I often find the world a rather strange place
dude if you learned biology like you said then you must know "asexuality" doesn't exist in mammals. It's basically an hormonal issue that can cause lots of trouble to your health later in life and that can hugely increase cancer risks. Not having any sexual desire is related to soma health troubles. Now if you explain that by choice you dont have any sex that's really something different and then it's your choice. But saying you actually don't even feel the need to even masturbate once in a while.. be careful. you should have all your hormones levels checked. (but as you are on this website dedicated to wanking, I guess you are probably okay )
if you want people just to answer yes or no and not explaining why then you should make a pool.
after work late, around 10 pm but it's not only gym, it's gym +hammam +sauna + sex.
I haven't bought a game since hum call of duty 2 for pc. torrents are great you know :blind:
what " Beau " said is totally true and clean or not won't change the fact you can get hepatitis A among other nasty stuff..
very dirty and I hate it when young dude do that just so they look older. what a waste..