I agree with the previous poster who indicated that it was a unique journey for each person... I share here in the hopes it helps someone out there who may find some similarities.
In my case, I had a really tough time when I was young... I knew I liked fucking girls, because I was fucking my neighbor... but then, I also started to fool around with some of the neighborhood GUYS! I mean, getting off was getting off! (And at that point, there was no anal sex! Just jerking and sucking and massaging...). I had heard the terms GAY and STRAIGHT (as well as many colorful, mostly derogatory, names for gays)... but none of those labels seemed to fit ME...
In HS, I was attacked once for being queer, but was "bailed out" when one of the girls I'd been fucking told the guy who was coming after me that I was a better lay than he was! (He was humiliated & beat the crap out of me anyway, but the queer "bashing" ended).
At the time (all thru HS), I was banging almost anyone who was willing to! Boy or girl, it all felt good! But I didn't "date" at all - it was all sex! (This was the 70's after all!)
To my parents, and anyone I wasn't having sex with, I was a model-geek! I got good grades, was in the Boy Scouts, sang in the church choir, you name it! I was a "good boy" - except to those "in the know" that I REALLY LIKED to FUCK!
In college, things changed: I had an actual GF as a freshman... but she cheated on me (broke my little heart!), and in "revenge" I fucked her brother... we kept fucking for over a year, but we never let her know.
I also joined a Frat - they didn't know anything, except I had been dating the one girl. However, I had also started a collection of gay porn magazines... and those got discovered... so I was force-ably "outed" to my fraternity - and they did NOT take it well: there was a vote on whether or not to allow me to remain a member... I barely won (though 2 years after, I was elected VP!)
Still, no one outside of the fraternity - ESPECIALLY my family - knew anything about my sexuality. Indeed, I had been "forced" to claim "bisexual" as a label by my Frat brothers, but it didn't feel right to me... I didn't "need" to be with both, it was more like I "could be" with EITHER!
When I graduated college and went to work in my first career job, I met a bartender at a hole-in-the-wall gay bar, and we became a couple - my first man-to-man love affair. We were in the process of breaking up - I was 25 by this time - when my younger brother got married in another state. I had originally planned to bring my BF as my guest to this thing, and come out to them then, but we were breaking up, so that fell through.... nonetheless, I was an emotional mess, so I wound up coming out to my mother... she could not understand how or why I couldn't just CHOOSE to be straight (I honestly think she STILL feels that today - and I'm 58 & she's 81!)
The rest of my family soon learned about me, and by the time I was 28 I was fully "out" - I made it a "requirement"(albeit, self-imposed) that I would never have sex with someone who wasn't aware that I had had sex with both men and women in my past.... I have kept that commitment to myself. I also finally found a label (I've been using since my late 20's) that I'm comfortable with: pansexual - defined (for me) as being physically attracted to either male or female bodies, and emotionally attracted to the person - irrespective of their body parts. (Or more succinctly: it's about the other person, not the toys they bring to the game!)
I have been accepted as "myself" by a huge majority of people who've learned about me... and rejected by a very few (which, I won't lie, hurt... sometimes, a lot)... my parents STILL keep hoping I'll "meet the right girl" - even when I'm dating (as I am now) a man. Some things will never change. But, how can I expect my parents to accept me "as-is" if I can't accept them "as-is" - even if all of us aren't fully comfortable with the others viewpoints!
Finally: my kids are all aware of my sexuality - it's come up when I have the "birds and the bees" discussion with them as teens.