It seems like you don't have any gay friends? I mean really friends, not friends for benefit type.
I have had boyfriends from online dating site, and from friends of friends. It really helps, having gay friends, since you can share your emotions as well with fellow gays. Ever since I have my own group of gay friends couple years ago, I cannot really be myself with my straight friends (still haven't come out), but with gays, it's enjoyable, pressureless, and fun too.
If u want sex, find a ONS or friends for benefit. I don't think you should have a BF just for fun and not for relationship (unless you guys have agreed to it).
To be honest looking at your criterias I think you have a pretty high standard for average gay males to be able to hook up with you.