Posts made by pornofan

Harkness is immortal and travels freely through space and time, apparently, rather like The Doctor. He is not bisexual so much as pansexual. Men, women, aliens, whatever. Actor/singer John Barrowman is openly gay and has done a documentary on what it is that makes people gay. Very out.

In the series, Capt. Jack's lover is str8, queer only for one man. There's a story where Gwen (?) gets picked up in a bar and the next day says that she doesn't know what her parents would be more horrified by– her having sex with a (non-terrestrial) alien, or having had sex with a woman.

The first couple of seasons could easily have been The Monster of the Week but were much more creative and variable than that. The stories were often very dark, written over a background and personal issue colored with pain and sometimes truly unspeakable suffering. And there are v tender, v moving episodes, as when the Captain travels back in time and meets the doomed soldier -- Jack Harkness -- whose name he later adopts.

Then, although it looked like the series had come to a pretty definite end, the cast was relocated in the US and the show was produced in California. If anything, it got even more grim those last two "seasons," really each a self-contained miniseries.

Fans of Barrowman and his dimple currently can see him as a villainous influence on hunky actor Stephen Amell who plays the title role in "The Arrow." Brother Robbie Amell, who looks a lot like him, is a regular on "The Flash," another comic book story now on the US television machine, Both shows are set in the same "universe" and there have been crossover episodes where characters from one show or the other appear in episodes of the other series.

Only that last paragraph is actually new(ish), but the series is so smart, with such clever and often moving storylines, that I had to chime in to support the original commentary. There may be more gay characters and plotlines in Torchwood than in any other general series on broadcast TV. It ain't QAF, Looking, or Cucumber, but for a show where the gay content is ever present but usually not the point, it sure makes a statement. Also, though it is easy to overlook the significance of such a thing now in these allegedly modern and up-to-date times, but the conspicuous level of homo acceptance and tolerance as just one more natural (I almost said "human," but it can also be inhuman for these guys) phenomena equally present and emotionally valid across space and time.

In a century starting out with Science being jettisoned in favor of Superstition in its most ignorant, bigoted, and maliciously repressive forms, it is good to know that 'twas not ever thus, and that even in Modern Times, there were amazing shows like Torchwood in its various incarnations.

Thanks. I really like looking at naked men in their natural habitat, being naked and casual together in this kind of basically nonsexual context. Another example of the ways men are with each other, a form of male-male intimacy does not much get talked about. Not that any kind of male-male intimacy actually gets talked about. And yet with all the physical, emotional, and sexual power of men, surely it would be liberating if it were acknowledged and even embraced. Perhaps perving on naked men in Voyeur videos is as close to opening the topic as we are able to get right now, even though that is a somewhat special, even controversial or objectionable, approach to the private behaviors of men with each other.

Good looking guy with a great big central attraction. I wonder how how his selfie got shared.

All quarterbacks should post pictures of themselves like this because it would help make the world a better, safer, and much more fun place.

Taboi. Thank you. Interesting and informative and helpful.

You sound like good fun for anyone fortunate enough to meet up with you, a man of experience who is not solely interested in himself, but who cares about his partner(s). And it is a useful contribution to the topic of what people do. Obviously, everyone is different. It may not take all kinds, but we Have all kinds. Finding out what some of those active men like to do is also, I think, important. These things can now be talked about, and I think it is a Good Thing that people like you take the time and trouble to contribute.

Just wrote a much-too-long narrative of unexpected true love appearing magically late in life, only to have the whole thing eaten. So the condensed version is that it happened to me, and that means it can happen to anyone.

An online dating site where I have a profile caught someone's eye and he sent a note calling me the hottest most beautiful man he had ever seen. Yeah, right. I have heard that before, usually from someone who introduces himself with "My dear," and who then refused to answer an questions as to why he things I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, me being three times his age and definitely not looking for a long-term partner who can barely read and write but who apparently thinks I would be a good meal ticket for someone a thousand miles away or even in a noncontiguous country.

Yet here was someone laying it on thick, asking nothing but whether he was too far away for me to bother with, me being a handsome, gorgeous, wise, genius and all, and him having nothing to offer but youth and muscles because he does not know anything and has nothing I could learn if I bothered to hang out with him. Well, at least he was specific in what he liked and why. And, cautiously (this was online after  all– "On the Internet nobody knows you're a dog.") but as we talked about things, it turned out he really did not know that he would adorn any naked calendar, or that he was perfectly interesting and creative, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, able to write two consecutive sentences with subject/very agreement, and was otherwise of very great appeal.

Similarly, once I discovered he was not kidding either, and there were enough details and comments from both of us to show that our hard to believe remarks were entirely consistent and sincere, we began to notice that whole e-mail paragraphs from one or the other of us could have been written just as well by the other dude. Great agreement. Shared assumptions. And, in time, even better telephone conversations.

This was not what we expected or thought we wanted. My dating profile said I wanted sex and if that went well, there could be more, it could become regular, anything was possible. Not expected, not the point, but if it works, it works. Definitely not interested in LTR because at my age, there is not so much long-term to fuss about. Yet, without either of us DOing anything except proceeding directly but cautiously, checking and verifying and staying out of our own way, something serious was going on and we both knew it.

Very unlikely. And as it happened, given that we came from very different stages of our lives and very different experiences, what unfolded was very enlightening and unexpected. Not only were we compatible in many and unexpected ways, we were astonished to discover what sex is like when yr partner cares about you as deeply as you care about him. It wasn't even sex, it was two men making passionate love and opening new worlds for each other as partners, not tricks.

Neither of us had ever had a boyfriend before, neither expected to have one, neither of us seeking anything initially except maybe a one-timer frolic, the typical casual hook-up. LTR just came along for us to discover, not something we feel we had to work on. In the same way, it was evident that both of us always played safely. Some strangers have written asking for sex and insisting on BB, no condoms allowed. Yeah, that is going to happen. Who doesn't want to have sex with a stranger who won't practice safer sex and obviously does not care how I feel about that because I don't matter?

By the time we actually felt secure enough to meet in person, we had hashed out all manner of issues and had even reached the point of knowing we were already friends, to the point where if sex never happened, we would still be pleased to have the other as a central addition to our lives. As it happened, making love was a revelation for each of us.

I'm just here to tell you that if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. It sure as hell is not something either of us was looking for or ever imagined was even possible for two people, much less the two of us. And we are both secure in our lives, not in need of any relationship. Except the first and last serious relationship either of us expects to have while we both live.

In my 20s I was too ignorant, scared, insecure, confused to do much of anything with anyone. In my 30s, once I finally acknowledged to myself what I wanted and figured out how to get laid, things were better. And now, two of us are busy discovering parts of life we never believed were anything more than movie mush and silly love songs. Again, I insist, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. And, apparently, at any age.

Thanks to shirfmosen for his comment, which these remarks are intended to reinforce.

Unlike with strait couples, any mm couple might make one wonder whether one or the other always tops or always bottoms, and so on. With straits, the assumption is that the man penetrates the woman in the manner required for impregnation. And otherwise, they do whatever. But with gays, there is no such assumption of a default sexual activity.

One man spent most of his life fascinated by dick and sucking lots of cock. Only rarely did someone turn him over and plug in deeply for a fuck. But lately, he's started to wonder whether "everybody else" has been fucking/getting fucked the whole time and that fucking is "real sex," with blowjobs maybe a quickie alternative or warmup, like going down on a woman, to prepare the area for penetration.

Maybe all we really know is what we do personally, but would people please tell me what you think is typical? Is most everyone oral or oral plus? Or is it about "real sex" and anything else is a substitute? Conceivably oral and anal are equally popular with some (most?) people, but I cannot tell from porn – which would have me believe that BB or not, pulling out for the money shot is the way it is normally done even for an oral cum shot, that most men trim or shave the bush they grew as teenagers even before they began producing sperm, and that watersports are almost popular enough not to be dismissed as a fetish. So obviously entertaining videos don't tell the whole story.

Also, perhaps people have noticed a shift in typical mm sex. At least in the U.S., any responsible man under 40 may never have had sex with a man or a woman without use of a condom. That's fine for sports fucking, but it seems weird to me, not how a committed HIV- couple can best have sex together. And I keep insisting I don't know anything. It still boggles my mind that someone would suck furiously and then spill (or spit!) the hot load on the ground.

So I guess, like my friend, I can't generalize. Lots of women don't want that icky sticky man stuff, but a gay man? Huh? Maybe that makes sense if you only want to provide a handjob or really like the hot sizzle of fresh semen on yr skin, but....

Perhaps I am the only one who wonders what else is going on in the world than what I have encountered personally. I mean, I'm still trying to figure out why some people only want to be penetrated one way or another rather than be the one who fertilizes another.

The boyfriend is smooth in the back until you get right down for the most private view and then there is a rather random black growth, highly visible against white skin, but gym showers and changing rooms will never know. I think it is our little secret and I find it intensely exciting.

Absolutely.

Women are more likely to be fragile and require some restraint rather than balls-to-the-wall animal rutting and the indulgence
in absolute carnality that a sturdier hole and more solid body makes possible. Or are there people who can report their own experience
who disagree with my impression that women are less likely to want or encourage absolute abandonment during the generative act when
it takes place between cock and ass?

Yes. I knew a couple who met at the tubs and lived together as a couple for half a century until parted by death. Wonderful people.

A man with a fair amount of sex may, these days, nonetheless never have fucked freestyle and unprotected. In a committed and exclusive loving relationship, after both parties had tested negative for HIV, it was like a loss of virginity, having natural skin-on-skin sex without inhibition or restraint, between two men deeply in love. Each was thrilled to have been able to provide that experience as well as to enjoy that experience, and the sense of emotional trust and intimacy involved was more rewarding than either man had ever known.

The decision to go bareback from the very beginning until forever was not forced, but seemed like the simplest and most obvious sexual experience in the world. On dating sites, strangers often come on to a possible hookup demanding unprotected sex from the beginning, not as something to be worked into over time as their bonds ripen and deepen. Preposterous, and a sure sign of someone who is not interested in protecting his partner or meeting that partner's needs.

In the case described, part of what made it possible was that neither one demanded to go BB, not even hinted that maybe, maybe…. When it became evident there were only two people involved and that both of them fully intended their new partner to be their only partner going forward, it seemed obvious that what should happen the first time was to make sure that they did it "right," right from the start. The reward was such an overflow of caring and love and consideration, and such a totally unrestrained pounding on the way to an unprecedented orgasm as the top sprayed his load hot and wild inside where it served as lube for an immediate repeat.

That all by itself made the decision evidently correct. It sure was different than what either was used to.

Ages 27 and 68 may seem like a considerable gap, but the two do not look like a couple, so that controversy does not arise. Since the younger man is fully mature in his attitude, self-supporting, and hard working, he is a great, fun companion to the older man. One admires youth, the other admires wisdom and knowledge. Both have v different life experiences, and both are thrilled to have such a sensitive and thoughtful lover devoted to their pleasure. Also, both have introduced the other to experiences and erogenous zones previously unknown.

No relationship is guaranteed forever, but my initial question was whether there was anything specific about such an age gap that would make for instability beyond what often happens to people in relationships. Passing strangers unaware of the sexual/emotional connection are not an issue either, but what about friends and others in the know, gay or not?

Particularly those who have lived as a couple for some time, what kind of stress has there been, if any? Do people accuse one of robbing the cradle and one of being in search of a meal ticket? Are there remarks of disapproval? Conversations in which the age gap is v much under discussion and not easily accepted?

Part of what attracts me to my much younger bf is that he is self-supporting, has a good job, has an upward career path, and has also started more than one profitable business.

To me, this is someone who is responsible, capable, creative, independent, and who wants me for myself, not as a meal ticket.

In addition, he finds me intellectually challenging, the kind of body type he dreams of, and someone who knows lots of things he does not about life and sex and other things. Since he knows a completely different range of things about life, sex, and the rest, we can be good friends as well as lovers. He is not only striking handsome and constantly horny, but someone I'm pleased to know and grow with.

Unlike some people his age, he is able to write and think and is not shallow or ignorant, though again, I grew up with the Beatles (Paul McCartney's old backup band, LOL), and in a much more homophobic time before the plague arrived. I find the mix of our alien backgrounds as exciting as his body and how he uses it, and his mind is definitely a pleasure to know as well.

There are people who like their partners to be older, even Much older. Sometimes it is a matter of wanting someone to look up to, a man who knows more than one's cohort. Or maybe it comes from a time when a very young man finds that others as close to puberty as he is are not fully mature physically. Whatever it is, some men are attracted to olders. Maybe wisdom, maybe something else. Not talking about a sugar daddy who is convenient for financial reasons.

Similarly, and equally obviously, what dog lover does not like puppies? It is common enough in adverts for young and handsome men to flog the product, these days often with a bit of scruff that might almost make them look younger. But whether those who are barely of legal age, whatever that may be where they are, are of interest, or men in the first quarter or third of life, it is athletes and others – Warwick Rowers, Olympians, members of boy bands, who most often sought via dating sites.

What I'm trying to get to is that outside of some father-son role play that turns up on this site a lot, there are, in fact, older and younger people who make it as a couple. Tom Daley, 20, and Dustin Lance Black, almost exactly twice his age, for example. Or Stephen Fry marrying Elliott Spencer, 27, who is three decades younger.

Mostly these are not relationships that get a lot of media attention apart from celebrity gawking, but I wonder how common they are in real life. Are any of you in such a relationship? Know anyone who is? Any idea whether such connections are stable or perhaps subject to more pressures than for people who are roughly contemporaries?

This is a topic of more than academic interest for me, and anyone who knows something relevant, has some sources to mention, or who can shed light on the problems and possibilities would be quite helpful in generating a discussion.

In case anyone though that joke is too preposterous, notice that it's been no more than about a decade since driving while you drink a beer has been outlawed in Texas.

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The obvious place to see men in speedos is where men swim. The beach, for example. Perhaps a lake or river. And, of course, at the pool, which does not require convenient coastline or geography.

What I just wondered is whether anyone here has experience they would be willing to share concerning any study they may have made of the wild speedo in its natural habitat. College and universities have athletic programs and swimming/diving competitions where the skimpy outfit is the most natural costume, and certainly more likely to be found than at public pools full of multigeneration families.

And high schools, the educational institutions where aspiring athletes are found before they enter college, also have competitions. In that case, however, even more than among undergraduates, the testosterone-addled youth standing around all but naked with friends and strangers equally nude but even less experienced in controlling their thoughts or disguising the public display that may result. YouTube has a lot of videos that suggest more than one person has noticed and enjoyed the look of these fit jocks in their banana hammocks, and perhaps the unintentional display of their burgeoning anatomy is even a familiar occupational hazard.

But I do not know these things. When I was of that age and still in school, it never occurred to me that what I could see the the gym each day was more or less on view at the natatorium, so as with so many things, I've missed my chance.

Anyone with true tales of their own sport as a speedo spectator, however, would be fun to hear about, and I hope this forum might be an appropriate place to recount such adventures. This inquiry has nothing to do with the cautionary post about photography of such people as they appear in public, but that, too may be changing. Just this week there was a US news story of a man who had taken an underskirt photo looking up the concealed legs of a minor female child. He got off, and I mean legally, not lasciviously. If that is possible then….?

It's tough, okay, but patience IS a virtue.

The following is quoted from http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/mostly-straight-men-sexual-fluidity/

The reality is that a majority of LGBT folks. orientations change over the course of their lives. According to blogger Leh Miller, "84 percent of women and 78 percent of men [report] that they had changed their sexual identity label at least once."

And some, like [actress Maria] Bello or actor Josh Hutcherson, might be hesitant to label at all. Hutcherson defines himself as "mostly straight,"
reflecting a new open-mindedness when it comes to an emerging generation of young men. Hutcherson said, "Maybe I could say right now I'm 100 percent straight. But who knows? In a f**king year, I could meet a guy and be like, 'Whoa, I'm attracted to this person.' I think defining yourself as 100 percent anything is kind of near-sighted and close-minded."

To match its users' spectrum of preferences, [online dating site] OkCupid recently expanded its sexuality options to include a variety of labels, including asexual, homosexual, and the controversial term sapiosexual, which means you're attracted to intelligence.

50 percent of heterosexual women and 25 percent of heterosexual men reported having at least some recent same-sex attraction. Likewise, 35 percent of heterosexual women and 24 percent of heterosexual men reported masturbating to a same-sex fantasy in the last year. And not just that, but 2 percent of heterosexual women and 9 percent of heterosexual men reported actually having same-sex contact in the last year.

==

My [Pornofan] guess is that many of those 9% of Str8 men are not frat boys ("God was I drunk last night") but randy guys going cold turkey against their will at That time of the month. Or maybe people who have discovered a gloryhole(perhaps at an adult video arcade) that is conveniently and easily available. There sure are a lot of older men newly single and long out of the dating scene who suddenly become "bicurious." And while lots of gay men have been married to women and are now free to look elsewhere, not all of those men realized their strong attraction to other men until after they had been married for a while.

It may be a bit like teens doing the standard dating thing and making out and all that, but without the kind of enthusiasm other guys seem to have, and eventually having worked through the "normal" alternatives, the young man realizes why it is that women are not interesting to him sexually, and perhaps not even interesting at all. And that is on top of mutable sexual interests, which are already different from youthful experimentation.

I do love the deep bonds that exist between men, often under the general radar, unlike the much celebrated "sisterhood" of women. That may very well take the form of a special, deeply emotional relationship that may even have a physical component not present for anyone else. In Torchwood, the British television spinoff of Dr. Who, the leader of the team is omnisexual, and sex with invading aliens happens as well as with men and women both. His long-term (in the series anyway) lover is only gay for one man. Since the man he loves is played by out actor John Barrowman (currently on US television in Arrow, a show rather overflowing with hunks), there are a number of gay storylines in Torchwood, some quite poignant.

Now that the love that won't shut up is all over the media, in television, films, stage, and interviews, more and more people seem willing to claim some flexibility in theory, if not in practice. The standard view these days for people who say they are not gay is to add a tag line from Seinfeld (a sitcom) and proclaim, "Not that there is anything wrong with that."

The truth is that sex is sex and people do what they do. For over a century now, there has been a label, "homosexual," as if everyone fit into neat little categories and stayed there. Women are more likely to go back and forth between men and women, but the more musicians, sports figures, and entertainers in general refuse to speak or act as if they think anything IS wrong with some orientations, the more easy it become for people to explore options that otherwise would be repressed out of fear of the Public Victorian. And not for nothing does it turn out that the most virulent homophobes are the ones most turned on by gay porn.

I've met Josh Hutcherson, btw, before he was a teen idol from Hunger Games and was just rather chunky and at the edge of stardom. He is so generous with his public sentiments because, having been raised in the business, he has always known gay men, and because he has a gay uncle.

Did anyone else see the broadcast wrap party after the final episode of long-running TV sitcom "cheers"?  Woody Harrelson said on camera that he was not shamed to admit he would go down onconstar Ted Danson. Another true life confession like comedian Tim Allen's rift in one of his broadcast standup routines about how men should be willing to blow a buddy who is sad or depressed. The audience laughed wildly.

All of which musing is to suggest that standardly accepted inhibitions are not as powerful today as they once were. Truck stops on long-haul routes often have gloryholes for use by str8 drivers in need of accommodation. From at least the 1600s, no sailor ever signed about a second major voyage without knowing how men at sea release tension. Not something they talked about with the "little lady" back home, but also an uncontroversial fact of life. There is also, of course, the "dear love of comrades" in the military, daily facing death together. There is a very moving volume of WWI poetry written by soldiers about their love for another man. What that meant in practice is unclear, but at least their openly romantic language was part of a world less judgmental than the one in which some geezers were raised in an atmosphere of nearly universal oppression.

Men just do a lot of things behind closed doors that are never discussed or acknowledged otherwise. What we know about sexual behavior by long-term prisoners is also true of other all-male environments. Cowboys, for example, were not necessarily celibate until they could get into town after a long cattle drive, and in town and lacking cash, they may have made good use of a convenient ribbon clerk behind the outhouse.

Unfortunately, interesting as I find all this, and as much as I like to think that any strait man might allow himself, due to circumstance, a Special relationship that includes a sexual component, that does not mean that when one man falls for another, anything good is likely to come of it. And yet… I remember the recollection of a gay man talking about picking up soldiers with his friend and then blowing them in separate beds in the same hotel room. He noted that often enough, the men being serviced would kiss each other deeply as they were occupied in a supposedly forbidden way.

Thanks to MrMazda for the link. The study does not say zero viral load is safe, but so far so good. A second study is in the works. Meanwhile, the final results of this first study, it says, won't be in for another couple of years. Personally, I find the complete lack of HIV transmission with an undetectable viral load v reassuring.

Having only had anal sex once since the plague years, it looks like it is going to happen again. Normally, the way I phrase my demand for safer sex is to say I have a rubber fetish. And I do like to see a hot load heavily weight down the reservoir with an abundance of ejaculate.

But it also seems to me that sex is more spontaneous and natural the old-fashioned way, with nothing interfering with skin on skin friction. The common view seems to be that condoms reduce pleasurable sensations at least on the person wearing one. But someone here said they could not tell the difference.

For those who have done it both ways, what is yr considered opinion? Less pleasure? Or not enough less to matter?