What Is Gay Sex?
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Unlike with strait couples, any mm couple might make one wonder whether one or the other always tops or always bottoms, and so on. With straits, the assumption is that the man penetrates the woman in the manner required for impregnation. And otherwise, they do whatever. But with gays, there is no such assumption of a default sexual activity.
One man spent most of his life fascinated by dick and sucking lots of cock. Only rarely did someone turn him over and plug in deeply for a fuck. But lately, he's started to wonder whether "everybody else" has been fucking/getting fucked the whole time and that fucking is "real sex," with blowjobs maybe a quickie alternative or warmup, like going down on a woman, to prepare the area for penetration.
Maybe all we really know is what we do personally, but would people please tell me what you think is typical? Is most everyone oral or oral plus? Or is it about "real sex" and anything else is a substitute? Conceivably oral and anal are equally popular with some (most?) people, but I cannot tell from porn – which would have me believe that BB or not, pulling out for the money shot is the way it is normally done even for an oral cum shot, that most men trim or shave the bush they grew as teenagers even before they began producing sperm, and that watersports are almost popular enough not to be dismissed as a fetish. So obviously entertaining videos don't tell the whole story.
Also, perhaps people have noticed a shift in typical mm sex. At least in the U.S., any responsible man under 40 may never have had sex with a man or a woman without use of a condom. That's fine for sports fucking, but it seems weird to me, not how a committed HIV- couple can best have sex together. And I keep insisting I don't know anything. It still boggles my mind that someone would suck furiously and then spill (or spit!) the hot load on the ground.
So I guess, like my friend, I can't generalize. Lots of women don't want that icky sticky man stuff, but a gay man? Huh? Maybe that makes sense if you only want to provide a handjob or really like the hot sizzle of fresh semen on yr skin, but....
Perhaps I am the only one who wonders what else is going on in the world than what I have encountered personally. I mean, I'm still trying to figure out why some people only want to be penetrated one way or another rather than be the one who fertilizes another.
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There are as many answers to those questions as there are gay men. It's all a factor of the individual person and what they enjoy and feel comfortable with.
Myself? I do not have a BF, but if I hook up with someone I am down for a lot of things except actually getting fucked. I consider myself 100% top when it comes to fucking. I don't even use toys on my ass because it weirds me out. However I don't exclusively search out a bottom. I am just as happy with another top who just wants to swap oral or with a couple. I have a bunch of quirks though that most would consider "odd" in a top.. I'm not into rimming at all. I can't force myself to put my tongue near an asshole - even if I know its clean - let alone enjoy the taste. The knowledge that there is shit just on the other side of it turns my stomach.
I don't consider myself 'dominant'. Maybe it's because my dad was a douchebag to me all my life, or whatever, but I don't feel comfortable being forceful and telling someone to "suck my cock, bitch" (even if that's exactly how they want to be treated). I'm definitely not submissive either - though I did recently meet my first power bottom, and it was pretty cool.
I LOVE sucking cock. That turns me on just as much as fucking. Sometimes even more, depending on the guy. As I said, fucking is not a requirement for me. My first three way was with a couple who were looking for oral.. It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. And I do not spit.
I trim downstairs because if I don't it turns into a monster. I envy those whose pubes stay naturally 1/2" or less. and it's mainly out of respect for anyone who might put their mouth down there, because I appreciate the same.. I'm not really into the bald look, but I'd take bald over a mouthful of unruly hair any day.
I always wear a condom. It's a personal preference, just like choosing to wear a helmet while riding my motorcycle, even though the law does not require me to. I am not the relationship type, and even though I get tested regularly, I feel that it is my duty as a top to not subject others to anything I may not know I have. On the same note, I find people who list "anything goes" on a hookup profile extremely unattractive. It puts them in the same category as junkies, because it shows the same caliber of disregard for personal health and safety.
Money shots are for video value, nothing else. In real life they are awkward and kinda gross. I tried it one time with a friend.. We recorded a romp, and he wanted me to pull out and cum on him.. Well when I was ready to cum, I pulled out and tried to get the condom off, and it was a disaster to say the least… The ring ripped off, then while I was trying to get the rest of it off, I started cumming in the condom, and by the time I finally got it off me, there was only a little dribble left.. Not to mention it ruined my orgasm.. Never again..
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Taboi. Thank you. Interesting and informative and helpful.
You sound like good fun for anyone fortunate enough to meet up with you, a man of experience who is not solely interested in himself, but who cares about his partner(s). And it is a useful contribution to the topic of what people do. Obviously, everyone is different. It may not take all kinds, but we Have all kinds. Finding out what some of those active men like to do is also, I think, important. These things can now be talked about, and I think it is a Good Thing that people like you take the time and trouble to contribute.