Posts made by omar919

agree

rather not to say feel a shame

nope

silly

too long for a joke

didnt get

;D

google chrome

theer was a one but i dont remmember his name
i never seen a movie for him
just a foto
i guess it was my frist foto

before

only malaria that can infect human by mosqitos

none yet

chess and sduco

i used to play chess and Sudoku now i m looking for much fun
any recommendation

i like jokes it make me happy its supposed to make ppl happy too

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking them over out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."

He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:

"I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, you might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: I'm afraid the lab called with your test results. They said you only have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT on earth could be WORSE news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

What do you call a Skoda with a long radio aerial?
A dodgem!

What's the difference between being caught inside Kylie Minogue's Bra and being caught inside a Skoda ?
You feel a bigger tit in a Skoda !

What's the difference between a Skoda and tickets for an Oasis concert?
Oasis tickets go fast!

There is a big competition online: the first prize is a Skoda, the second prize is two Skodas.

I've just bought the new 16 valve Skoda
…....4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!
A guy goes into his local garage and asks "Do you have a windscreen wiper for my Skoda???"
"Sounds like a fair swap" replied the man in the garage.

From a newspaper:
"To the person who stole my Skoda in minus 10 degrees of frost. Keep the Skoda, but please tell me how the hell you started it!"

What do you call a Skoda full of food?
A Lada!  (larder - get it)

What do you call a Skoda with automatic windows?
A toll booth.

What do you call a Skoda in the winter?
A freezer.
What do you call a Skoda in the summer?
An oven.

Why do Skodas have a rear wash wipe ?
….....To remove the flies that crash into them.

What is the difference between a Skoda and the flu ?
You can get rid of the flu !

What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle.

What do you call a Skoda with a ladder on the roof ?
A wheelbarrow !