Posts made by omar919

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

welcome

nothing on my mind dont  remember ;D

some hoe i found it a bit silly but i guess that was the fun part in it
like the small song
London is burning .. London is burning

Floods UK:
Row Row Row Your Boat
Gently Down The Stream,
Merrily,Merrily,Merrily,Merrily,
A Carpet Fitters Wet Dream.

Mr. Cadbury:
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks as she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got feckin Allsorts!

Fabio:
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this fucking mess, don't ask me to sort it out…"

Future :
In a statement from broadcasting house, all future England games will now be shown on the gay porn channel.
It is thought that 11 arsholes being regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV.

Walking Down The Street :

One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles.
One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, "Say, I wish I could do that!" His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, "I should say so! But don't you think you ought to get to know him first?"

Bartender A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me a double shot of whiskey." The guy takes his drink, slams it down, and says "Give me another" The bartender says "What's the matter guy?" The guy says "I just found out my youngest son is gay" Two days later the guy is back and the bar and orders a double, slams it do an and asks for another. The bartender asks again, "What's the matter now?" The guy says "I just found out my oldest son is gay" Two days later the guy is back, this time he asks for the bottle. The bartender asks, "Jesus, doesn't anyone in your family like pussy?" He exclaims, "YEAH….MY WIFE!"

High School Reunion

They're are four guys at a High School Reunion. Three rich guys, and one mildly retarded. The mildly retarded one leaves to the restroom. One of them says. Let us talk about or rich and successful sons. The first one says, "My son is so rich and successful and bought his best friend a Lamborghini." The Second one says, "My son is so rich and successful he bought his best friend a Private Jet." The Last one says, "Well my son is so rich and successful he bought his best friend his own Island." The retarded one returns from the restroom and says, "Watcha talking bout'?" One of them says "Just or sons, How bout yours?" The retarded one says, "Well my sons a gay stripper at a gay bar. But he did just get a Fancy Car, a Jet and a Really large island from his three boyfriends."

Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?
A: "How do we find an egg in all of this shit?"

at class again:
Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.
Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want?
Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?
Sam: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework.

Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!

Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!

It was oral examination in the standard two. The class teacher asked various questions to the students. She asked Tom, ‘Can you tell me a name of an animal that starts with alphabet ‘E’?
Tom replied ‘ELEPHANT’
Teacher asked him again to name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘T’.
Tom replied ‘Two Elephants’
Teacher asked him the same question.
Tom replied ‘Ten Elephants’
Annoyed teacher, asked him name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘M’
Tom replied ‘Mother Elephant’
The angry teacher repeated the same question.
Cool Tom replied ‘May be an elephant’

Teacher asked the students to tell the most common word used by students in a classroom.
Suddenly a student got up and said “Can’t Sir”!
Brilliant! You are right, the teacher said!

Johnny asked to Sam what they will do that night.
Sam said “we will flip a coin”
Then Johnny said “If it comes head, we will go for movies. If tails, we will play cards, if it stands on edge, we will study”!