I have a lot of faith in the online dating scene. It gives you a "safe" mode to get to know and chat with people with like-minded interests. For example, there's a forum here for leather/bear, chubby, anime/manga, and the like. If you're interested in these things, then simply post in those forums, join discussions, and learn about other people that way. Then take the discussion out of GT, and move to some other chat medium which is a bit more real time and doesn't require you to keep your GT site open all day long (for privacy issues, maybe).
then you go out and date and see if the connection online can translate to a real connection. I don't go out to clubs, or at least not to gay clubs. Clubs i've gone to once or twice but i'm no night owl so i tend to sleep early. Having said that, I don't actually go out to the gay scene, and keep only a few close gay friends who i can talk to anytime.
Here's a tip. Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others. If you're after sex, say so. If you're after a certain kind of relationship, say so. It can be as simple as putting your preferences online by saying: I would like to be with a guy who can appreciate Lonesome Dove, Cold Mountain, or simply sipping hot chocolate in front of a fireplace in the winter. I would also like to travel.
These are things that make you more real in the eyes of anyone, and you would be well positioned to meet potential friends, at the very least.
I met my boyfriend online (although if marriage were legal here, i would have proposed already) through a gay networking site. We've been together for 32 months already.