I was raised by my parents as an only child, which explains all the bitterness in my sister.
A new study found that each year, humans eat more bananas than monkeys, which I found odd, as I eat a lot of monkeys.
My partner was mad that I have absolutely no sense of direction, so one day I just packed up my stuff and right.
My grandfather didn't see that well, which explains why he fell into it.
After my dog died I went to a grief counselor for a month, and that man was so good at his job that when he died a week later, I didn't care.
I took my ex-boyfriend out yesterday, which made me realize how much I love being a sniper.
My therapist told me that "time heals all wounds," so I stabbed him and locked him a closet for a week, and found out he was wrong.
I was at a playground this morning, and when the mother next to me smiled and asked "Which one is yours?", I explained, "I'm still choosing."