Posts made by DClarkston

@Grotomode:

I was exactly like that up until 4-5 years ago. Sex helped me start to get social. It was my first chance at meeting people.
I dont know how it is for you, but for me it was (and I still carry that till today a bit) the thought that I wasnt interesting enough that made me shy away from social interactions of any kind. Slowly but surely I realised that I am definitely not less interesting or fun than most other people.

Sex won't really be very much help for me. I don't really date or have random sex either. The opportunity really doesn't present it's self, not that I actively look very often, I guess the best way to describe me is uncomfortable with myself as a whole. I don't really see myself as attractive. I tried to update my profile pic but it didn't work for some reason, my pic is getting a little outdated now and I have changed some, but even then I wasn't happy with myself. I guess you could chalk it up to poor life choices on my part. I've made my fair share of bad decisions in my 35 years, and I pay the price for them every day. I don't really see me getting into a sexual relationship anytime soon. I just look in the mirror and think, well, I wouldn't want me so why would someone else. I am glad to hear that it worked for you though. Some say that the right person is out there for everyone, but for me, I just see my hand in my future 

Thanks for sharing all of your view points and situations. It really is greatly appreciated and nice to have people that can actually relate to my situations. I knew that it couldn't just be me and it's nice to have people relate their own experiences and thoughts. For some reason I can converse with people a lot better online than I can in person. I can open up more and just be myself on here. This really is a great online community that we have here and I'm so glad that I found it years ago. When I feel like I need to talk to people your always here for me. I love you guys and I hope that you all have an amazing day

Thanks for the advice ab, I am slowly trying to make myself be a little more social, it's easy for me to say though, not always so easy to do. I wasn't always antisocial, I think it happened gradually and I didn't even really notice until I had 3 friends that I still hang out with occasionally…

Dene, That's the direction that I have been going it seems. It's not that I don't love my family but I too experience anxiety issues. I have trouble speaking in large groups of people. I feel myself pulling away from my family, I hardly ever talk to most of them anymore. I don't really go out of my way to talk to most of my friends. I have about three close friends right now that I don't talk to or see as much as I should. I ended up deleting my facebook, I kept seeing things that I didn't particularly care to on it and I never really used it to keep in touch with anyone anyway so it was actually pretty easy to let go of social media for me. I do feel like the few friends that I still have are true friends luckily. I'm 35 now and usually content with the way things are, but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be. I'm really not sure if I could be in a relationship anymore. I've been on my own for what seems like forever, and probably will continue to be. I don't really have the highest self esteem which doesn't help matters…Thanks for replying and sharing more about yourself. I feel like we are in similar places in our lives right now.

Thanks for responding ;D I guess I just worry about being too set in my ways sometimes. For the most part being alone doesn't bother me too much and I'm ok with it, but every once in a while something will make me wish I wasn't always on my own.

I'm not really a very social person, I like people, but from a distance. I have a lot of acquaintances, but few real friends. Often I feel kind of socially awkward never really knowing what to say or how to keep a conversation going. At the same time, I feel like I'm a really good listener. I've been on my own for so long though that I'm not really sure If I want to be in or could honestly handle a relationship with someone else. I really got to thinking about this the other day when some of the girls at work were talking about living vicariously through me. I just laughed and then started thinking about the fact that I've been on my own for so long that I wouldn't even know what to do with a relationship at this point. You kind of get use to being on your own and self sufficient after a while. I'm pretty hard on myself though, and I honestly don't really even try to find a relationship anymore. I really do wonder sometimes if I'm able to love the way that I should, or if I should just accept the fact that maybe I was meant to be alone. It's not that I don't want to love/be loved, I'm just really not sure that it's in the cards for me. I was just wondering if that's just me being me I guess. I can't be the only person that feels this way and has these questions right?

I'm really liking Sam Smith I'm listening to his song Too good at goodbyes right now and seriously relating to it… I haven't heard anything from him that I don't like but here's a link to the song on YouTube  https://youtu.be/J_ub7Etch2U

Strip that down by Liam Payne 

Thanks, the older version is a lot better!!!

Yea, MrMazda That's me lol, sorry it took me forever to see your reply, I have a lot more beard now, I'm growing it out I'll have to update my photo

Hey everyone, I've been using Utorrent For years as my downloading and uploading torrent system, but I started getting a lot of unwanted pop ups and such from it to the point that I uninstalled the program. I was just wanted to know if someone would be awesome enough to suggest a new platform to start using. Thanks in advance for any advice 

Fireflies

No problem, I'm actually kind of surprised that no one else has posted anything else yet, but either way you go, I hope that you are happy with your decision, it is a really hard choice to make, and I wish you nothing but the best 

I use to look at it the same way as you are, I was very hesitant to come out, and didn't until I was 19 for fear of losing all of my friends. I was bullied all through high school and I was afraid to lose the few friends that I had. I ended up finally getting the courage to tell all of my friends, and I look at it as one of the best choices that I have ever made. I finally realized that if people didn't like me for who I really am then they really never were my friend to begin with. I always wonder how different my life would have been if I would have just came out when I was still in school. It was really hard and kind of scary at first, but I have found over time that people are more accepting if they know about it from the beginning. There are always going to be people that do not like us, but I am pretty good at knowing who to stay away from and refuse to hide the real me from anyone. I am ultimately living a much happier and better life than I ever did before I came out. This is just my experience and opinion, you ultimately have to do what feels right for you, but I hope that me sharing this helps you in some way

If I found the right man, definitely, but I would not rush into anything, and I happen to live in one of the last states that won't recognize gay marriage, they actually have legislature against it…

Thanks for all of your help MrMazda!!! You're awesome

Hey, I wanted to add a profile pic, but am not quite sure what to do. If anyone could help me out that would be awesome