Posts made by coryzinho

As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?" His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"

A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

19 Irishmen go to a cinema. Ticket lady says, "Why are there so many of you here tonight?" Mick replies, "The fillm says 18 and over, miss."

A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

A: Lean beef.

A: "Supplies!"

SMILES - There is a mile between the first and last letters!

A: Pumpkin Pi.

Student: "Electricity!"

A: "You're too young to smoke."

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "California."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me."

A: An investigator.

Little Johnny's friend calls to invite him over, but little Johnny says, "I can't, I'm grounded." His friend asks, "Why?" and he replies, "My mom called me a son of a bitch, and I said, 'Yup, you got that right.'"

A: Scholarships.

A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!

A: Because it’s pointless!

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

A: Because then it'd be a foot!