Posts made by RainbowCloud

I'm not ugly, but no one wants me?  Hmmmm

@upNXT:

I think more importantly than answering your question would be to figure out why you asked…

I came out in college when I was 21.  While I wasn't fully invested in finding a relationship, I did my share of looking.  I had friends and want to parties, I was only the earlier versions of dating sites, and tried making whatever connections I could.  I was never given an opportunity.

As time went on the trend continued.  Over the years I have been on about 15 different dating sites and apps.  I usually get about one message a year, and only one or two from messages I have sent.  Those conversations don't last long, as I think they are mostly trying to be polite

I lived in another major gay city, where I went out about three times a week.  Within that year I was given almost zero attention.

I am 32 and want to break the cycle.  I know people that aren't unattractive, but aren't what you guys describe that I need to be.  Yet they get ten times more attention on these sites than I do.  So I want to know what is wrong with me.  Why am I undateable, or even unworthy to get to know?  I don't think that, but others obviously do if I keep getting rejected for over 10 years.

I ask if I am ugly simply to get an outsider perspective.  To see if who I am physically is just that unappealing.

ffuck, I love how you are really over thinking this, as most people just swipe left or right, and get on with their life.  If it is by chance appearance to the degree you are talking about, then only a very select few people would have relationships.  There would be signs saying "those who don't hit the gym everyday need not apply".

Maybe people here aren't being truthful.  You cannot tell me that I not not unattractive, yet say that reason I am not getting communication is due to my appearance.  If my appearance is attractive, there is nothing wrong with it.  I am at a reasonable weight, and who cares that I have glasses and longer hair.  Can you honestly say there is no one out there that likes glasses and longer hair?  I am saying that I am having no success with guys I like, and maybe it is because of that.  The bigger issue is, I am having trouble with guys in general.  No one seems to be into me.  And if people are saying I am not unattractive, what is the cause?

@furfiend:

On sites that allow more than one photo, you can add some with the glasses to show the diversity of how you can look.

I guess the real question is this:  Assuming a better picture gets you more real-life meetings, is it worth having a few guys feel tricked if it also means someone will be possibly disappointed at first, but stick around long enough to start liking who you are?

I have done that before, where I have had pictures with and without.  The whole thing seems deceiving to me.  If I was the type of person who wore glasses 90% of the time, but didn't here and there, I can see getting away with it.  You wouldn't be tricking anyone.  But the reality is, I wear the glasses 100% of the time.

I try to think about things based on how I would react.  If I find someone to not be truthful on day one, I really lose interest.  I feel that if someone cannot be truthful when there is nothing invested, imagine how easy and often it is going to be that they will be dishonest in a friendship / relationship.

@matwlep:

The problem is some times in attracting someone in the first place. Examine your other attributes. If you're unemployed, penniless, have bad attitude, these might be more burning issues to fix.

This is exactly what I am getting at. If I was able to get passed the introduction phase, I think I could easily rock it.  I communicate well, have a set of interests, and so on.  My problem is getting the initial introduction.  Since they have not talked to me, and do not yet know what I have to offer, physical attractiveness is all they have to go by.  If people are telling me that I am not unattractive, but I am not getting responses, what does that say?

I do wonder how your boyfriend got passed that stage, if he by chance wasn't someone you found attractive.

On dating sites I have on my profile the following bio :

"I am a aspiring entertainment industry professional, hoping to one day fulfill my dreams of creating art and media that will change the world.

I like to emerge myself in as much mainstream entertainment content as possible. I love watching and writing television, where I can get everything from my daily celebrity gossip, all the way back to engaging drama, and amusing comedies. It might seem a bit silly, but I cannot go a day without watching something that inspires me to read, write, or even visualize some form of a creative concept.

I also love sports. Even though I don't get out much to throw around a football or frisbee, I am an avid hockey fan, not only taking an interest in local sports, but many other teams through my interest in fantasy sports leagues."

@furfiend:

You asked a direct question.  100% honest answer?  I don't find those photos attractive at all, but cut the hair, and we'll talk.
Of course, I'm like ffuck; I hate long hair.  To the point that even tall, muscle-bound, hairy-chested, porn star-bodied, movie star-faced guys with long hair just make me want to grab the clippers and cut it all off.

So, between the long hair and the glasses that hide your face, I really can't tell how you look underneath that.

As I think I clearly stated in an earlier post (or maybe not…) I wear the glasses everyday, no exception, because I cannot see without them.  I had surgery when I was really young.  If you are by chance saying I should take pictures without them, I don't like being deceiving.  I mean.. If me having glasses is that big of a deal, to where I am not getting responses, how do you think these people will feel when we meet and I am wearing glasses?  Not being truthful rarely works out in the end, and it isn't a good way to start off a potential relationship.

Not sure if I said it before in here, but when I was in my early 20s I had short hair.  When I was in my mid 20s I had medium length hair.  I can't say at any point in my life I have had an easier time getting attention.  So while I respect your opinion, I am not so sure having long hair is the complete dealbreaker as to why I can't even get a date.

@Eridanos:

Then learn the art of taking selfies. (If you learn to take awesome photos you can even make an extra money O: )

I take the glasses off and I can't see.  LOL

Let me guess, you are one of those Instagram models?

@Eridanos:

You really need to do something about your pictures' angles. They aren't flattering.

Also, your glasses get in the way.  Either take them off or buy those anti-reflecting glasses, so your eyes show.

Based on the type of lenses I need, that is not possible.  Either way.. If guys recognize what you just did, then does it even really matter?  I can see someone saying "OMG he has pretty eyes" and falling for someone, but I can't see someone thinking "he has average looking eyes" and rejecting someone.

I did not take those pictures.  And trust me.. I am awful at the selfie.  lol

@ffuck:

Beauty is not much about being ripped or having the perfect face/hair/eyes, it's much more about confidence and learning how to project yourself to others. I'm not in the "model" category either, but the last year I have done HUGE steps towards loving my body and appearance in general and accepting it as it is. And it worked to the outside too: once I became more confident in my own body, I started getting more compliments, both by people who were sexually interested in me but also people in general

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CONFIDENCE!!!

I agree.  I guess my point is, you need the model attractiveness to have the opportunity to showcase all of what you are expressing.

I personally am a well educated guy, who not only has a series of interests, but many different passions.  I know who I am, what I want, and what is worth looking for.  I have had guys tell me that this is what they are looking for, only to then reject me.  That is of course if we are not talking about websites and apps, where I get almost zero attention compared to what most people get.

I even went to a matchmaking service, who told me they approached 100s of guys I would have interest in, only to be told "he seems like he would be a nice guy, but I'm not interested".  I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

I am 6 foot 180 pounds.  Since March I have lost 17 pounds.  I know I am not thin enough, and still need to work on it, but I have tried very hard over the years.

Here is another picture :

http://tinypic.com/r/nzexys/9

@brianboru72:

Admittedly, looks are an important part of getting the interest of a potential partner. But I've found that while looks may get you an introduction- it's really personality and charisma that will keep things going. As long as you're not a slob, you take care of yourself, and try to be an interesting person, you'll have no trouble finding lots of interested people.

That is correct.  Yet in the day of age where apps include just a picture and a Twitter like bio, how you look is your selling point.  I have always had a hard time being given the opportunity of an introduction.

@Domosuke:

I like the fact you wear glasses, as you can see I do as well. I don't hate contact lenses, but I prefer glasses. Really like your hair.

But to be honest, to many gay guys, I wouldn't say ugly, hell no. But you wouldn't be in the top tier at all.

Like I know for a fact, I wouldn't be in the top tier of guys at all either. So I don't mean that to be rude.

Yeah.. The glasses have never been a huge deal to me, but it seems to be very off putting to other guys.  Being born with cataracts in both eyes, I have worn glasses basically since birth.  I wore contacts a bit as a little kid, as well as a short time in high school, but never really felt comfortable in them.  I would say I look better, but I have never been a "beauty hurts" kind of guy.

I know I am not fantastic looking.  I don't think I am ugly either.  Yet I have been trying for my first relationship for about ten years, and get turned down every time.  Family members say I don't look bad, but that is family, they are supposed to say that.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=afbho0&s=9#.WHhgBhsrI2w

@raphjd:

Without being directly involved, it's hard to say what's going on.

It could be something you are doing OR it could be this guy isn't interested in a relationship because he's already in one.  Maybe he wants a more direct contact; ie person to person, not on the phone.

I know he isn't in a relationship.  To be sure I wasn't misunderstanding, I straight out asked.  We have been talking on and off within the last 24 hours about relationships and such, where he has been a bit more open than usual.  I'm just unsure of how to approach the situation.

I am starting to think that while I move very slow, he moves even slower.

A few years ago I signed up for an online dating service, where the matches they gave me weren't the best.  Listed within those matches was someone I found somewhat interesting, and began talking with through e mail.  After a few e mails about common interests and such, he suddenly stopped responding.  Being the type of person who likes being social, a year ago I decided to send him another e mail, which basically lead to a similar situation.

While on a trip out of the country, I started going through my e mail lists, once again contacting people I haven't spoken to in awhile.  He was one of them.  This time the situation was a bit different.  Over a two week period of time, we exchanged e mails almost daily.  As the two weeks went on, the e mails became less frequent, with really no signals of him not being interested in talking.  He even said to me at one point that he wonders why we never did meet up, and that it must have had something to do with him dating someone at the time.

Not getting the communication we started with, I decided to take the plunge and offer up my phone number, saying that maybe text would be better for him.  He agreed, gave me his number, and communication continued.  Over the last 2 weeks I am seeing similar patterns to our e mail conversations.  While we get along and have similar interests, he almost only sends me something when I send to him, if I am even that lucky to get a response.  I have asked for more information about him, and even to meet up, I was ignored.

Am I doing something wrong here?  Is there something I can do to progress or get closure?

I was in the middle of downloading a big Gay Life Network torrent, which seems to have disappeared as well.

I typically like the Emo Network stuff, Gay Life Network, and Helix.  Even though the studio stuff has gotten stale to me.  I much more prefer the self shot videos.

This is what I was hoping for.

How do you create a .torrent file?

I know this isn't Gaytorrent.ru related, but I thought maybe someone could help walk me through a process.

I am currently in the process of archiving a form of media with someone across the country.  As it stands, I have currently archived 89GB of data, with a perceived calculation that the finished project will be 180GB.  These are files that I do not want shared with the public, just this individual.  Am I able to do so through torrenting?

I have in the past downloaded files through uTorrent by only using the hash, but I am unsure if hooking a torrent up to a website is needed (tracker?).  If this is possible, can the torrent then be deleted after the person gets the files, so they do not begin to float around in cyberspace?

I'm not sure if this is more appropriate for this forum, or the Sex and Relationships forum.  Either way I need some help.

I am currently in the process of creating an audition for a radio show here in the US.  In doing so, I need to create a file that is (for lack of better terms) a fake version of that show.  This means I need people to send in audio files with various opinions or stories on a given topic.

The topic is Sex Tapes.  Have you ever made a recording of you and your partner having sex?  If so, was it a good or bad experience?  Why do people make sex tapes?  etc.  All different perspectives are welcome.

I need these files ASAP.  PM me if interested.

Thanks.

@Natakote:

Man, I'd kill for a relationship with an older guy (+8 years older than me minimum). It's been my fantasy for 6 years.  :blownose: :blownose:

How old are you?