Posts made by RainbowCloud

I am honestly a bit confused….

You sort through pictures / profiles, and if you like someone you swipe to the right.  I assume that if you do swipe to the right, it appears in that person's next set of profiles, unless they have already said no to you and did a left swipe.

So here is the complication...

If I swipe to the right and they swipe to the right, why is it that when you do message someone, you never get any form of correspondence?  I can not see getting responses on sites like OkCuppid, because in a sense you are cold messaging.  On Tinder, if two people swipe right for each other, they are essentially saying they want to know more about each other.  I mean.. isn't that the point?  It cuts out the cold messaging and gets straight to the guys you want to talk to?

Am I completely missing the purpose of this app?

What if there is no time on it, says Freeleech, yet inside the torrent page says time up?

I would like confirmation as well.  The torrent listing page says nothing, the search page says it has been extended, the torrents on the search page say yes, but the individual torrent pages say that time is up.

Confusing…

WOW…  A lot of people saying they would date older.

For those who have dated older, what is it about the older guy that you were attracted to?  Was it that they had to be in top notch physical shape?  Was it their personality?  Being an older guy (32) wanting to date younger, I have found that often times when trying to talk with younger guys, they become creeped out, as if the older guy is only looking for one thing.

Reverse that...  For the older guys responding in this topic : What did you do to catch the younger guy's attention?  Where did you meet?

For both : Is this just a daddy / son fantasy, or what you are attracted to?

I know.. silly question.  As a virgin, I guess I was just wondering what it feels like, and maybe why so many people become strictly tops or bottoms.

I've used dildos and such before, but don't seem to get much of a sensation, yet always find myself wanting to do it.

Smooth.

I find shaving the pubes is a bit creepy, but I think that all depends on how it looks.

"Find your own style that works for you".

Hmmmm.. that is exactly how I am now.  With the exception of losing 20 pounds, I think I am the best that I need to be.  I am not fantastic looking, but I am the best of what I have.  You personally might think differently, yet does that automatically mean everyone is going to think the same way?  I would rather highly impress one person than 50 people.  As far as I'm concerned, those 49 other people are not investing in my future.  That one person is.

Advice is like opinions, everyone has them, just like assholes.  I was never asking anyone for advice, I am simply just looking for people to talk to about the matter.  Unless you have a guy my type to set me up with in my area, there is no advice that is going to help me.  I am consistently working on myself in some form, and if it isn't good enough for people to recognize me as me, rather than what they want me to be, These people are nothing more than haters.

Want to know reality..?  Some of us do not have the money to throw out everything we have and start new.  Either way…. some H&M clothes are not going to make me a hot stud, when realistically, the clothes come off and I am exposed.  All the money in the world for hairstyles, clothes, attitude, etc, cannot make up for who someone actually is.

PS to EVERYONE!  An attractive person is not made based on if they go to the gym or not.  If that was the case, everyone that was not ripped or over a size 2 would be single.

I'm 6 foot and still under 200 pounds.  I wouldn't consider myself "fat".  I just have a few pounds I can lose.

All those things you mentioned, I honestly have no interest in.  I am in the process of on my own casting a reality TV show, helping a group of people reformat a podcast, and I also have my current retail job.  If I go out it is to have fun, not do volunteer work, build stages for a theatre production I could care less about, etc.  I do go on the meetup sites, but the events and people attending don't interest me.

The gift of gab thing is correct.  The issue becomes that this is a chicken or egg situation.  How am I supposed to execute the gift of gab, when guys won't even give me the chance to have casual conversation?  I don't receive replies on dating sites.  I also am almost walked away from at bars.  How can I showcase anything of who I am if never given the opportunity?

Your comment about chunky guys is basically the frustration I expressed earlier in the thread.  I understand that I'm not the best looking guy.  But I have seen guys I am attracted to with guys that I believe look a lot worse than I do.  If it actually comes down to personal preference, rather than you having to be a specific type for a specific type, why is it that after 10 years not one person I have approached has found me attractive?  Statistically it doesn't seem to add up.

There is quite a bit of a misunderstanding here. Do I personally like how I look?  I don't at all.  The reason being isn't due to esteem as much as it is due to me not feeling attractive.

Lets examine that for a moment.

I feel that I am an intelligent guy, who not only has a lot to say about the world, but despite all the rejection I have had in my life, I have quite a lot that I can contribute.  I can carry conversation on a wide range of topics from music, sports, life events, some psychology, etc.  I even have the ability to take on a creative outlook, which makes me a lot of times unique compared to other people.

My physical presence is where the problem is.  I hate the fact that I am hairy.  I hate the fact that I was born with the visual disability.  I hate that my teeth aren't in the best shape,  And yeah.. I dislike that I am a few pounds heavier than I should be, but it really isn't something that is a main concern of mine.

The bottom line is : I like myself if it weren't for the fact that I look like what I do, and not like the people I find attractive.  Now, I'm not trying to make excuses, or even put blame on others, but I almost think this isn't my fault.  Over the years I have been rejected by guys so much, and see that those I want to be with only flock to others that look exactly like them, that I almost feel like I need to be that cute, smooth, younger twink to look good.  Obviously that is not reality, but in my universe no guy has ever thrown me a bone.  No one has shown me that someone I am physically attracted to CAN find me physically attractive.

I am 32 years old.  No change is going to make me look the way that these guys do.  And if that was an option, it would be so altering that I would no longer be me.  I would be shaved down, plastic, and almost awkward.  So what am I supposed to think?  You cannot tell me that I should be okay with being single, just because most of you are okay with it.  You have had sex before.  You have had relationships.  I have not.  I'm sorry.. there is a completely different feeling involved.  And when you are getting older and uglier, while those you are attracted to are staying younger and cute, the chances of a healthy relationship becomes more and more unobtainable.

I have to start thinking "either I commit suicide or find a way to accept that I'll never be in love".  Two very dramatic things that are somewhat reality, because if no guy is going to give me a chance, how would I know any different?

In other words I'm fucked unless I spend thousands of dollars that I don't have.

I might as well just kill myself.  You know.. I obviously don't mean anything to any guy now, so it's not like they will miss me.  They can go on dating and loving all the people they would even with me here.

I'm not being literal.  I'm just saying that I might as well.  What's the point?  I'm not good enough as I am, yet most people can just be themselves and get dates.  You are telling me to be something I am naturally not.  That's fucked up.

Me with a beard a year ago.

I did a Stanley Cup series beard instead of a playoff beard, because my beard grows in too quickly (I'm a big hockey fan).

What people don't realize is that I am okay with my style.  To me it is comfortable.  My glasses, not a lot can be done about that.  I was born with cataracts in both of my eyes.  I can get contacts, but I have in the past, and it is incredibly uncomfortable.  Fixing my teeth costs thousands of dollars that I don't have.  And well.. I can do something about the weight, but is 20 pounds honestly the reason why I have not had a date for the past 10 years?

Lets get real.  A person should like me for me.  If that is not the case, I can deal with the rejection.  The fact that no one my type has been okay with me seems a bit odd.

Think about the magnitude you are talking about.  "Fix this.." "Fix that..".  Then I am no longer the person I actually am.

A few pictures of me throughout the years.

At 25

At 30

Today

Mods are the worst.  There are people who have free shows, only to cut you off, making you pay so many tokens to watch anything happening.  And if you say something about it, you get kicked as if you are a bad guy for not dishing out the extra money.

It's fun to watch live cams, but really it isn't worth the time or money.  Then again.. I guess we will always need someone to pay, so they can rip it for us to watch for free. 

I refuse to believe that after so many years of hard work, I am always the problem.  What gets me is that different people are typically into different things.  Not everyone wants the fit guy, who is obsessed with going to the gym, being on crash course diets, etc.  Some people like chunky guys, hairy guys, short guys, and so on.  I just don't understand why I cannot fit into the middle of all this.  If I see some people I am attracted to dating guys 20 pounds heavier than me, how is that an indication that I MUST lose weight to have a chance?

I am into the cute twink look, which is kind of an odd pitfall.  As far as I am concerned, these guys are your average guys.  They don't have long chizzled jaws, built bodies, and unbelievable style.  They aren't what most people would consider to be the ideal guy.  On the other hand, these guys are either extremely open minded in dating, or they (mostly) are only interested in mirror images of themselves.  I can't compete with that.  I'm almost 32, and will never look like that no matter how hard I try.  Heck.. I don't even I even looked that way when I was 10 years younger.

It's nice to see that I am not the only one dealing with these issues.  Though most of you at least get hook ups or friends with benefits.  I get none of that.

I'm an average looking guy : 6 foot, 190 pounds, thick glasses (I was born with cataracts in both eyes), too much body hair.  I accept it as it is.  Yet I see people much worse off looking than me, not only with boyfriends, but quite good looking boyfriends.  I just don't get it.

I have heard all the stories at this point.  People say "you have to go out".  I go out and nothing happens.  The other set of people tell me "Stop looking".  I try putting it in the back of my mind, yet still nothing happens.  And the list goes on and on.  I would be interested in knowing what all these other average guys have that I don't.  I know no one on here can actually answer that question, but it really is part of the frustration.  At the very least I am not dumb.  I might be stuck working in retail now, but I have a college degree and more, I work on creative projects, etc.

One thing I believe that is holding me back is I am on a physical and mental level only attracted to much younger guys.  So when people say just to live life and let things happen, I am never in social situations with younger crowds of people, because as you get older those opportunities go away.  Plus lets face it, guys in their early 20s don't have much interest in guys in their early 30s.

At this point hook ups are on option.  I would feel like crap about doing it, but I would do it.  I'm not really getting any takers on that either.

The worst is that even if you tip, you have to literally sit around for an hour or two.  Who really has time to do that?  And these "goals" that are revolved around rolling the dice games.  I have to tip so that in a half hour you will take off your shirt?  So dumb..

So….  I am a 31 (32 next week) year old gay guy, and the truth is : I have never been in a relationship.  While I "slightly" fooled around with a friend in the past, I have never fully gone through with a sexual act.  I am yet to have my first real date, kiss, hook up, etc.  This all of course is not by choice.

I basically came out when I was 21.  The people around me were accepting, but really even to this day have not been supportive.  Yet I moved on.  I have busted my ass to try to find someone, but have had zero luck.  I have done online dating the last ten years, where very few guys even respond to my messages.  I have been through the bar scene in two major gay cities.  I have even tried low level matchmakers.  The response I was given by most guys through matchmaking was that I seemed like a nice guy, but they didn't find me attractive.

I practically give up.  I have put every little once of heart that I have into this, and I just can't do it anymore.  I even did the whole "stop looking" method, which made me feel even worse.

Has anyone else been at this point?  I just don't get how everyone in this world can bitch at me about how I should think of myself as attractive, because they claim I am, yet I get pure rejection from 100s of guys.

Having done online dating for the past 10 years (with no luck), I would honestly say stay away.  I know that physical attraction is a huge thing in gay relationships, but when people are looking online (myself included), there is almost an instinct to move onto the next profile if the person doesn't look attractive to you.  And lets face it… most people do not have outstanding physical qualities.  And if they do have outstanding physical qualities, a good amount of people these days will look at the pictures and think they are being catfished.

Getting messages is nearly impossible.  I have had a few where we have exchanged messages, but you never get a sense of if they are just being friendly, or if they really are interested.  I guess there is a system here that no one has figured out.

Additionally, after you have been on multiple sites for awhile, you tend to run into the same people.  I think everyone is just aimlessly running around, trying to find someone, but doesn't know what to do.

I've done this for over ten years now.  There definitely is a trade off, as well as a bit of logistics when downloading.  For example, I guess you shouldn't download big old files if you do not have a solid ratio.  You will almost never get a high upload return.

Over the week my speed has been a bit better.  I guess I was just overly concerned.

If a tracker is secure, I have no issue keeping my client open for seeding.  The other gay site I am on I think I have a 32.0 ratio.