Posts made by charlesperr

@andergarcia:

I met my current partner in grindr two years ago and still together 

I had met some others before and most of them were cool, but some others were a bit weirdos: one of them just wanted to fuck (no matter he included in his profile "looking for a relationship"), another one wanted to have a very serious relationshing (after having talked for only 3 hours)…

Yeah. I don't think GR is a bad app. Just the guys make excuses sometimes…
But if you click you click. Don't get why using an app or otherwise matters.

I have been to various therapists with no insight on what to improve/change.
I am really lost. I am getting older and still can't land a date and/or bf and it is really sucking.
I tried every app and made connections but its just chat chat chat, they literally never meet just for a coffee or anything. Offer sex, and they are at your door.
I do have sex with the ones I like still, but the fact that they vanish after and don't invest further is also confusing (as this is a lot of guys).
I find it hard to believe that every guy I slept with is emotionally unavailable. Not sure what is going on really or how to improve.
I definitely don't sleep with anyone that sends an invitation (I used to) but if sex is the only way I can physically also meet another gay guy for real conversation then the system is really broken also.

@musclejizz:

More likely than not, it's been exaggerated. Perhaps they measure the balls too, use that length to "market" the guys online, and aren't clear in the descriptions for guys like us.

I've banged a few pornstars….
The 'length' advertised on porn is definitely cock + balls and 'from the side'.
The 'insertable length' is the bone pressed length. If you look at fleshjack dildo's they are all mostly 5.5-7' insertable.

@pols1337:

Hi, you're looking for romance on Grindr?

I hope you know that during those 4 years while you were texting the love of your life, he was probably getting cornholed by every random Grindr  hottie he could message.

I know this sounds blunt, but if you want a normal relationship, then take a step back and first identify the avenues where people might actually be looking for serious and real relationships.  I'm not saying you can't find love on Grindr, but I am saying it is your fault for pinning all your hopes on a Grindr hookup.

Can you recommend alternative platforms? Tinder and Hinge and Chappy are the worst…. chat chat chat and never ever meet. At least with GR I get some physical interaction lol.

I saw that link also, and saw a therapist about this, who didn’t confirm (or deny) the narcissism but did say he was selfish and indeed something seemed off (though she said I came across well at all times, was fair, clearly know how to have a healthy relationship and know the boundaries etc which was re-assuring).

I don’t want his ‘fake friendship’ back. I just was trying to understand what happened. For a long time I thought it was me. I have never been in a relationship, his gay friendship lasted the longest, therefore I just thought it was me. But more and more, it just seems he was an ass and I am fine.

I wasn't looking for a romance on Grindr. We were both sleeping with other guys via Grindr and otherwise, and telling each other about it in some cases (well, he claimed I was more lucky and he seemed more like he was getting bf's although I never ever saw pics of these 'bf's'). It was just a friendship… I didn't want to sleep with him again. It was just nice to have some gay chat with someone who 'gets' this side of me, vs my straight friends who can't relate really.

Funnily enough, I met a guy on tinder, who was from the same town as him and shagged him during the time he ‘ended’ the friendship with me.

I think it is fair to assume he changed his mind. However when I felt there was a dip, I did ask, and even offered to stop chatting if things had changed. That is when the apologies started and promises too ‘do better’. He had many many chances and took over 1 year to ‘realise’ he didn’t want it anymore? Seems unfair / immature to also completely ditch me via text (and blame me for me) even if he changed his mind.

I think the piece I'm confused about is 'ending it entirely' seems more extreme than saying something like 'hey things have changed on my side, let's meet up and chat / have a call (and actually do it) every 6 months if that works?'. That is what I am finding difficult to accept. I am a reasonable person and showed that at all times that I was trying to work with him with his new schedule/life. To keep saying sorry and offering things and claiming you want to do better, then suddenly taking a 180 degrees turn with no discussion or open conversation just seemed extreme.

Nope, no one.

A hot escort, who returned the money as he enjoyed it lol.
Worth it. No regrets.

I came across this article: https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-common-phrases-used-by-covert-narcissists and it sounds a lot like him.
I know the advice is to stay away (which I have) and move on, but I want a little revenge lol.
But do I want his fake friendship back? God no.

@Volsrfer:

lots of porn stars use grindr around LA, SF, Vegas

I second this. Did many porn guys during my trips to SF.
I need to get myself to LA and vegas haha.

I have not contacted him back and agree that his behaviour is not my fault. I guess it just gave me pause. If a 4 year friendship (where I went extremely slow) blows up like this then what hope do I have? Everyone seems to want to jump into bed with me, but when I offer coffee etc first, people literally vanish. It is sad. I don't mind hooking up to see what's underneath lol but it just would be good if everything didn't end so abruptly for me.

I had sex with some porn guys (for free)…. it is just normal like a hookup tbh as I don't really watch much porn.

Met a guy via Grindr 4 years back, hooked up, ended up chatting, met up again for dinner and hooked up, he came onto me, did a holiday together, constantly talking then (long distance), suddenly communication dropped off, I asked if everything is okay and asked what works for him now / if he wants to pause, got a whole bunch of invites and random confusing emails also none of which actually made sense so when I questioned what was going on he got angry and blew me off. All communication was via text - he even sent his last message via a text which I think was cowardly.

I have been to various therapists to self-improve/learn but I'm coming up empty and more confused.
1. Some are saying he has an 'avoidant' personality type so obviously something triggered and he ran away - but this doesn't make sense given he seemed fine for the 3 years before.
2. Some are saying I was vulnerable and he just took advantage / used me - but I don't get how.
3. Some are saying I came on too strongly therefore he pulled away - but I again don't see what I said was crazy/wrong and even offered us to not be friends at all.

I am going round in circles. I am nearing 30 and have never been in a relationship, but have had hundreds of hookups over the years with none resulting in anything 'more' (other than the friendship above which also now ended).

Can someone please speak to me and help me see what is going on? I have the chat I can forward to you for the above if helpful.

If you check Jessie Colters rentmen page or Twitter, he posts a pic of his 8" cock wit ha ruler. So everyone cant be lying… or that is a fake ruler?

Sure, but then I am curious what is "big" and what is not.
Anyone ever brought these dildos and measured?
Would be interesting to measure the real guy and his dildo lol. I asked once, he got offended

I just had look at the fleshjack dildos and most are 5.5-6.5" insertable. So then when you are on Grindr what is XL and XXL?

Sorry to bump this up but it seems like I'm missing out on a tonne of gay life.
I was speaking to a few guys on Grindr who are all in BCN this weekend an I had no clue there was a festival.
Is there somewhere I can be updated and plan holidays accordingly?
Are there places in London I can go and meet fit guys or Grindr is the best thing?
I don't have many gay friends (and 0 in London) so I am pretty clueless about anything outside of Grindr so please excuse my ignorance.
If there is a better forum for asking these questions please let me know.

Yeah I always have on my profile I’m open to more if we click (friends etc) and a few have become friends also.

But no one ‘dates’ me it seems and literally everyone I speak to has had at least one BF. I’m not obsessed over finding one - it will happen when it does - it is just weird after this much time nothing has stuck given I’ve met a tonne of guys at this point.

I'm 28 and I've never had a BF and don't get what is going wrong here.

I have only ever topped guys, only ever been interested in guys, and sexually only really started playing about 4 years ago.

I've met a tonne of guys through Grindr, a handful who come back for more (but unfortunately the ones I fall for move abroad so nothing further happens). A couple are still friends but 99% vanish before round 2. I've even reached out to a handful of rentboys and banged them (for free) for fun so I don't think physical attraction is a problem here. Several find BFs after meeting me or just never reply or reply and we chat chat chat and nothing happens (despite inviting them back, or to the cinema, or for a drink etc). In the US its a completely different story, to the point that I got a proposal after 1 night.

I had little/no success on other apps in London (but Scruff worked well in the US, and Tinder was mostly yap yap no meeting for coffee even).

However, I am still alone as f**k and I really don't get why. Stable job. Decent looking (I think!?). Fit and healthy. In London. Been told I'm a decent guy.

My friend says it will happen when it does but at this point I feel like I've been through a tonne of guys and for none of them to have stuck is very odd. I've been to a therapist to be honest and was discharged because they said there is nothing wrong with me.

I am in the process of cutting so will have a nice tight body by June/July, generally find it easy to pull someone on Grindr, and am young/fit generally. I am looking for a holiday in July/August.

Instead of wasting my holidays for work, I was thinking to go a gay festival or something, as lying on the beach all day is a bit boring (tried it last year).

However I'm pretty new to all of this and would like some help. I have seen stuff like the circuit festival and xlsior festival but I have no idea if I can go there and what happens there.

My holiday should allow for some beach time, and allow me to meet hot guys and get laid a lot lol.

Can someone help me? Is this suitable?

In these parties I just go up to a guy I like and ask him if he wants to play or something? (I don't club or anything so very new to this)

ps I am going alone as I have no friends to go with so I also need to be safe.