I saw that link also, and saw a therapist about this, who didn’t confirm (or deny) the narcissism but did say he was selfish and indeed something seemed off (though she said I came across well at all times, was fair, clearly know how to have a healthy relationship and know the boundaries etc which was re-assuring).
I don’t want his ‘fake friendship’ back. I just was trying to understand what happened. For a long time I thought it was me. I have never been in a relationship, his gay friendship lasted the longest, therefore I just thought it was me. But more and more, it just seems he was an ass and I am fine.
I wasn't looking for a romance on Grindr. We were both sleeping with other guys via Grindr and otherwise, and telling each other about it in some cases (well, he claimed I was more lucky and he seemed more like he was getting bf's although I never ever saw pics of these 'bf's'). It was just a friendship… I didn't want to sleep with him again. It was just nice to have some gay chat with someone who 'gets' this side of me, vs my straight friends who can't relate really.
Funnily enough, I met a guy on tinder, who was from the same town as him and shagged him during the time he ‘ended’ the friendship with me.
I think it is fair to assume he changed his mind. However when I felt there was a dip, I did ask, and even offered to stop chatting if things had changed. That is when the apologies started and promises too ‘do better’. He had many many chances and took over 1 year to ‘realise’ he didn’t want it anymore? Seems unfair / immature to also completely ditch me via text (and blame me for me) even if he changed his mind.
I think the piece I'm confused about is 'ending it entirely' seems more extreme than saying something like 'hey things have changed on my side, let's meet up and chat / have a call (and actually do it) every 6 months if that works?'. That is what I am finding difficult to accept. I am a reasonable person and showed that at all times that I was trying to work with him with his new schedule/life. To keep saying sorry and offering things and claiming you want to do better, then suddenly taking a 180 degrees turn with no discussion or open conversation just seemed extreme.