I say let people do what they want.
It's common now days for married women to keep their maiden name. My nieces use both the surname of the father and their mother depending on the circles they move in.
If some gay men want to adopt the name of their partner so be it. Maybe they can bring new meaning to the convention. Rather as a form a patriarchal submission, it might indicate a level of personal sublimation or alteration of a selfhood which is all about something else. It might mean many things including simply imitating an established convention but does it really matter ?
The whole pincer movement of appropriating equal access to the marriage ceremony and it's status is in some sense a long called for levelling off of common ground. The initial focus isn't so much in diversifying it but simply in having access to it. I suspect we need to spend time with that for a bit without being so self concious.
tzz
leatherbear