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    Is there one single thing you regret abo

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    • R
      russbill last edited by

      Is there one single thing you regret about being gay?

      This topic seemed to be pop-ular at another gay torrent site so I thought I would start it here.

      Some of the replies were quite touching so I thought I would compare the answers on .ru

      some of the other sites replies are:

      "For me it would be the high unlikelihood of having my own kids. I would like my own spawn to one day survive me, but that is not likely going to happen. Only child too so the line ends here. Sad really. But that's ok. I know alot of you don't want kids at all, or ever will, and I do not want any now. But it would be nice later on."

      "The disappointment from parents if they knew"

      "The fact that I even have to be in the closet in the first place. It made me lead a double life, which is something a teenager or adult never should be forced into (I know it's a choice, but come on). Now I've become so accustomed to improvising lies on the spot I wonder if my true self will ever see the light of day.

      But other than that, being gay is part of who I am. I will never change that."

      For myself: "The fact that I came out to some family members and not having seen them since - that was almost 14 years ago"

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      • S
        serenity1188 last edited by

        Very touching indeed. First of all, let me say that I don't think anyone should regret anything about being gay. What I regret the most, I guess, is the fact that society pressures us into being regretful about it. I know I shouldn't regret a thing, but I can't help regretting it.

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        • M
          mantari last edited by

          I saw that topic over there, but I didn't reply, because they don't like replies that aren't open minded. (Example: say something like "I don't like fisting and felching." will get you pounced on.) Of course, I saw the topic here and I thought to myself, "Is someone doing some research with all of this?"

          In any case, the thing I regret about being gay is being lumped in with all gay people (and then also being branded for any of their perceived negative behavior). I suppose this is as much about other gay people as it is people who lump us all into one group. But in middle America, the kind of exposure that people got for years was those wacky gay pride parades with leather daddies yanking around their 'pet' on a chain, and other over-the-top images. Take a story like gay marriage, and the local news is fed (from the national network) pictures of older mustache-men kissing. And that's what is going to be in everyone's head.

          I purchase my a house, and everyone expects me to be Christopher Lowell or something. Or, because I'm gay, I'm totally defined in a sexual role that some people can't unfixate themselves from. "Gay people will have sex with any man! Hey, I know another gay guy, let me set you up. You're gay, he's gay, it is a perfect match!"

          So, what I regret about being gay is the baggage that comes with the label. The image in middle America is so much more negative than positive. It drags you down.

          EDIT: Typo fixed.

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          • C
            coffeeboy2k last edited by

            I completely agree with you, Mantari. The stereotypes are certainly something that needs to be overcome, and I think uit's happening – albeit at a very slow rate.

            It's somewhat frustrating for me here in the Philippines. Strangely, they are very open-minded about the gay culture here -- provided you work in a beauty parlor, dress as a woman, or do/say outrageous things. Gay, here is usually interpreted as "fey". And while theres absolutely nothing wrong with being that, not all of us are like that. It's a constant struggle to break stereotypes. I'm sure a lot of you feel that way at times. Bottom line, being who you are is the most important thing.

            There's really nothing I regret, but there is something I hate -- being asked "In a relationship, are you the girl or the guy?" GRRR!!!! 🙂

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            • V
              vitamin last edited by

              I think that there is nothing to regret in a gay life: we are the ones who are allowed to do anything!!!

              Since when would a straight guy dress up like a woman just for the fun of it? (except at carneval ;-)) ) We can be stylish when we like to even wear a suit for grocery shopping at 6 am. Everybody will just think "oh he´s gay, that´s ok

              And i have to agree with coffeeboy2k about archetypes…
              Meanwhile my only answer to the question "who is the girl" is "both of us because we are a lesbian couple, can´t u tell?" gg

              Anyway there is nothing to regret: we have better sex, we have more fun and we look better than straight people (at least in austria) :-))

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              • C
                coffeeboy2k last edited by

                @vitamin:

                Anyway there is nothing to regret: we have better sex, we have more fun and we look better than straight people (at least in austria) :-))

                Amen to that! BTW, a study showed that gay men have 70% more sex that straight men. Now is that something to be regretful about? I think not!!! 😉

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                • F
                  F00F Global Moderator last edited by

                  @coffeeboy2k:

                  Amen to that! BTW, a study showed that gay men have 70% more sex that straight men. Now is that something to be regretful about? I think not!!! 😉

                  That's because 50% of the breeders always suffers from headaches.

                  "If evolution is true, why hasn't my mac given birth to a PC? I mean we all know that PCs are better than macs"
                  Seedboxes are cheating.
                  "So what if jesus turned water into wine.. I turned a whole student loan into vodka. Your move, Jesus."

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                  • G
                    greenhatboy last edited by

                    absolutly no regrets well about being gay anyways…. 😉

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                    • raphjd
                      raphjd Forum Administrator last edited by

                      I don't regret a single thing.

                      I do wish that being gay made no difference to anyone and that we were treated as total equals in society.

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                      • T
                        thomas261989 last edited by

                        Having kids! Of course, my boyfriend and I cannot have our biological kids but there are many ways out there to have kids to raise. So, nothing to regret at all!

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                        • CountAchee
                          CountAchee last edited by

                          attitude against homosexual people, especially in my country 😐

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                          • T
                            thevodkarose last edited by

                            I regret the bitchy gay scene. It's not my thing, and I now avoid it.

                            I much prefer nights out in a breeders rock club. They are full of nice gay emos anyway. :lol:


                            Regards,
                            thevodkarose

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                            • T
                              twinkerzzz Banned last edited by

                              Well regret is a strong but specific term - here's the dictionary definition:

                              verb
                              feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, )
                              • used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness over something unfortunate or unpleasant.
                              • archaic feel sorrow for the loss or absence of (something pleasant).
                              noun
                              a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.
                              • (often regrets) an instance or cause of such a feeling.
                              • (often one's regrets) used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness at an occurrence or an inability to accept an invitation : please give your grandmother my regrets.

                              The second part of your question applies this notion to any notion of being gay.
                              SO no - there is not anything i regret as such about being gay
                              BUT
                              there are other words i do use like resent and annoyed to specifically describe prejudice , the damage prejudice does to people and the experiences that are potentially denied them because of that damage.

                              Regret has connotations of selfreproach. All humans have to contend with a degree of failure or mistakes made in a life time - regret is part of coming to terms with oneself - part of the process of learning, growing and getting through life -  but i don't think it should be an end in itself - that is too morbid, too defeatist and whether striaght , bi or gay - i would say you shouldnt regret life itself.

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                              • A
                                Alex9989 last edited by

                                Honestly, it just really annoys me when people say "Oh, thats so gay", but not as in a gay person, as in like a stupid thing.
                                Like if their phone isn't working they'll say "God my phone is so gay". That bothers me, because its like saying gay=stupid.

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                                • L
                                  lovehole last edited by

                                  difinitely, no! ever since, when i was a child i always wanted to be happy with my life. finally, i'm happy right now so, regret i never a choice! honestly, i don't care what people is saying behind my back! or front! one thing, for sure they will never understand us because they were never in our shoes… these poeple who think them self as superior than ours! they are clearly, blinded by their cons!

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                                  • D
                                    DAB last edited by

                                    I have no regrets, whatsoever. I do find problems, with the people around me who are ignorant about homosexuality (and so many other things…).

                                    Being gay has made me very strong, and I think it is a good move by whatever caused me to put me in this position. Not being able to make babies with a partner that would seem natural to me, is a bummer, but life is not fair to begin with, so what am I bitching about?

                                    And really, what is there to regret about something you had no say in? I could regret the shittiness of the world, but what's the use?

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