I was always interested in seeing naked men, though as a kid back in the 1970's it wasn't so easy to do… No internet & porn was very hard to get hold of! My first wet dream was when i was 11 & that was about a man, I woke up all sticky, thinking "that's not supposed to be what happens!" I tried to fight my sexuality all through my teens & at university trying to convince myself it was "just a phase I was going through" and keeping myself firmly in the closet (though I did suck cock for the first time when I was 19 - & I loved it).
I'm a bear, always have been even before the term was coined, & the role models for gays we had in those days in UK were Mr Humphries from "Are you being served", Larry Grayson & Kenneth Williams. I didn't want to be camp or effeminate like them but I knew I preferred men to women.
Eventually when I was 24 after a long struggle with myself I gave in & admitted to myself I was gay, started going to Saunas & bars & discovered that gay comes in all flavours!
I met my hubby when I was 28, came out to my family & friends. That was 24 years ago
Same experiences here but in the 80s and first 90s, without internet or porn, the TV was a source for firsts erections :masbana:.
Do you remember the character of Corky , the chubby partner of Stephen Collins in "Tales of the Gold Monkey"? Well, I think I was very young to suffer a boner, but now I can recognize that I liked the series much more because if him.
And what about Miami Vice? No, I didn't like Don Johnson, I prefer Michael Talbott character, DT Switek, the fatty boy. I remember a scene in one episode, when he kissed a girl, I found myself with a strange feeling, with chills , and yes, this was one of my firsts erections.
But, remember, a boy with 10-11 years then, without no information about sex, and even less info about homosexual feelings or relations.
For me there was like…mmm.. I feel this excitement because I watched a kiss, no problem with this, it's normal, a kiss between a macho-man and a woman. And I can't be gay, because I'm not a effeminate boy, and I like to play the games of boys of my age, (except sports, I was very intellectual), not stupid games with girls.
Also I felt similar sensations with Simon Lebon in the video "Wild Boys" (I guess by the leather pants, because I don't like it very much with other look), and with Bruce Willis in Moonlighting, I liked the series, but Willis was a plus.
With 13 I had a wet dream , but never felt these days I was gay, because never liked a friend, or other young boy, and never fell in love with men or women. In my student days I liked 2 or 3 teachers, but was like "wow! I admire him" in an intellectual way. Today I admit, I liked in a sexual way also, but in the past was like they were only fantasies of my mind, because I don't was a twink or effeminate man, and don't liked.
The older men, always attracted me, but even so, I ignored the idea of being gay , until I fell in love around 23/24, at first was like the feelings for one of teachers of my past, but the feeling was growing and I admitted so sincerily that it hurts me to recognize to me that I was not "normal". I didn't trust in anyone to talk about this, except him. So, even though I was scared , because I didn't know how it would react about another man , younger, confessing his love for him, I told him. I was desperate, and in the closet. :closet:
I know from the begining that he wouldn't correspond to my feelings, because he was happy married with children, but I needed, simply talk.
I was so scared that his reaction was very homophobic and/or violent, but was one of the the best reactions I could imagine, he supported me and encouraged me to ask for help (I was very, very depressed those days) , and for coming out. Well, It took me one year more after this to coming out to my parents, I was 26. And then, soon I realized that I liked bears and I was "normal", and not alone anymore.