@Ballbusted12:
@gayaznboi22:
From a personal standpoint, I get what you're feeling. I was fresh out of high school and starting college ten years ago. With that new freedom and a chance to finally explore my sexual desires, sex was at the forefront of my mind. I often found myself willingly skipping class to meet up with guys I found on Craigslist just so I could try out the various types of sex I've seen in porn videos. My grades suffered for it and I actually got academically disqualified for it. I thankfully got my act together and finished college after doing some reflection of what my sexual freedom was doing to my academic and future life.
While I wouldn't change how I acted in those sex-filled college years - because it helped mold my current sexual proclivities to which I am very comfortable with - I was a loose cannon. It sounds like that is the same for you minus the availability to release sexual hormonal urges. Might I be safe to assume you never played around with others before? If so, then that can be contributory to how you're feeling. It's how I felt before my first sexual experience to which I became a college whore for a period of time.
If it's true that you are a true virgin who hasn't had any kind of sexual encounter, my suggestion would be to take up a constructive hobby. What got me through my sexless high school years was taking up creative writing. While it didn't keep me from jerking off 4 times a week; it did keep my mind off of "I want to try fucking/getting fucked" and other such thoughts.
If you had sexual experiences before and are craving it again, my suggestion is the same. I would also add that you should mentally remind yourself that you know what the feeling is and that it isn't a new novel idea to be trying; that it's already been done and you can wait to experience it once more.
As a final note, it also seems like you continually touch yourself to the point of it taking over your life. That it is being triggered by looking at porn/sexy models all day. Once again, my suggestion is to take up a constructive hobby. Also, I would say that you should try dedicating a specific amount of time a week for looking at porn or other such materials. I used to continually look at porn in college; another reason for my grades dropping. It wasn't until I limited myself to four hours a week of porn; it could be a few minutes in a day or all four in one day. After I reach that limit, I'm done for the week no matter how horny I am.
Of course, everything I'm saying does require a specific amount of self-discipline. That's the shining light in your predicament; this is your first time being in such a dilemma and a chance to build up your sexual self-discipline. If it is not working, then I would suggest asking for help from your doctor or a college psychiatrist. Those folks are there for a reason; to medically help you out with problems no matter how personal or sexual it may be.
I do hope that you will feel better once the feelings you're experiencing come to pass. It's not been a great time for any of us; I was lucky enough to have had sex once a month ago during this quarantine with a good trusted friend of mine. It's still not what I'm used to in terms of sexual satisfaction, but I've learned to make due with it thanks to my sexual discipline.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are extremely right. I am having these urges all the time. I fear they have returned. I have had a few sexual experiences but none of them really left me extremely satisfied. That’s why I’m also fixated and obsessed with dating apps to try to find a partner that I’m compatible with but it only resulted in damaging my mental health even more so.
I have started working full time a week ago and I have started my online classes this week and I am having an incredibly difficult trying to focus. I am afraid I’m going to do horribly because I am constantly thinking of sexual pleasure.
I have reached out to a college psychologist and will have a first time evaluation with them tomorrow but I’m not sure if I am ever going to be comfortable enough to share this problem with a college counselor. There is an LBTQ center in the area that I live and they have a 10-week waitlist 😕
Not sure what to do. Hopefully the counselor can give me some pointers. How should I tell her what is going on with me, without going into too much detail?
I would just keep it simple. Say that you feel your sexual urges are constantly at the forefront of your mind regardless of what you're doing. That you feel it is overwhelming your want to do more productive and important matters and thus lessening your ability to be productive. At least, that's what it sounds like from what you just told me.
And just as a quick note, I completely understand what you mean about sexual experiences not feeling fulfilling. I'm 28 now; I had what I called my whore years all throughout college. I was fresh out of high school and ready to try what I've seen in gay porn for the whole of my high school life. Though unlike you, I didn't look for help with regards to feeling sexually insatiable almost constantly. I ended up getting academically disqualified from college two years in and had to work hard to be reinstated. The fact you both recognize your issue and are seeking help for it is already a step further than I took it. You're already taking a good step forward.
And as another note, might I suggest talking to guys on those hookup sites instead of outright going "hi, let's fuck." I find that if you establish a bit of conversation first and lay things out on the table, the sex can be a bit more fulfilling. Believe me when I say there's a difference between a quick fuck and fucking around in a way you prefer it to happen. That and just having someone to talk to at least somewhat openly about sexual matters can do wonders.
That's actually how I met my current fuck buddy; it was supposed to be a one-night stand three years ago that ended up actually becoming good friends. Because he understood what I was looking for and was willing to meet me in the middle, I found myself being more sexually satisfied when with him. We're still friends/fuck buddies to this day; it's also ironic he's a ambulance first responder with some specialty in psychological health.
Again, I'm glad you found my experiences helpful. I hope further insight into my sexual life will prove further helpful to bettering your mental and sexual health. Because while I do regret whoring my way through most of college; I wouldn't change it because of the invaluable experiences I earned from it that essentially made me smarter in terms of sexual topics. I hope this experience and bump in your current point will also serve as a learning experience for you.
