What would you do if you fall into love with a straight man
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:blownose: i think it is a tough thing
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well, if he is meant for me, I suppose things will just work out. He would eventually understands me and be together with me. Therefore the first step to be taken is to get closer too him, but not making him uncomfortable.
if he is anti-homo or is not meant for me, then I guess I just have to move on and continue living my life.
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Something like that happened to me a little while back. At least, even if I don't think I was in "love" with the guy, I was getting there. I liked him a lot.
Long story short … it didn't end well. We were kind of drinking buddies, and .... well, alcohol lowers inhibitions, and men of all orientations and identities are horny buggers. I got into a habit of getting a bit gropey while we were both inebriated (him too), and things kept progressing. One night things hit a new level, the memories were a little too strong the next day, and we haven't spoken since (it's a complicated situation, there were a number of other, unrelated reasons too).
I still sometimes wonder just how far I could have taken it if I had been patient and tactful and bided my time, but bottom line ... most men who identify as straight, even if they'd never admit it in a thousand years, have had idle thoughts of letting another guy do things like give them a blowjob. Thoughts are one thing, though ... actions are another. If they could never be comfortable enough with themselves and their own sexuality to actually go through with it, if they just couldn't shake the spectre of social stigma --they're still effectively straight (i.e., don't even think about trying it unless you want to endure some of the greatest drama in your life).
My advice -- if you're positive he's straight (be honest, don't let wishful thinking get in the way), do your best to not focus on these feelings until they fade away over time. Get yourself out there, find some more realistic love interests, guys that may actually like you back! Fake it 'til you make it (it will happen eventually, I promise, it's part of the human experience), and see if you can really "just be friends" with the guy, and really believe it in your own heart.
I understand that it may not be possible to keep him in your life and accomplish that task if you really feel like you're in "love" with him, though (I've been in love, so I know). If you just can't heal while still being exposed to him constantly, the best thing you can give yourself is distance. The sooner you can make yourself move on and get over him, the better. There's no point in tormenting yourself with all the pining. Don't be dramatic and pouty and mysterious about it; just do your best to gradually pull away in a gentle way. All of a sudden you're super-busy, right?
I know that's easier said than done! I wish I could take my own advice.
![😕](https://community.gaytorrent.ru/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/apple/1f615.png?v=hvqg2qn0nb4 ":-\")
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Wow, that is totally a great response and I agree. Those straight guys sometimes… LOL! ;D
Something like that happened to me a little while back. At least, even if I don't think I was in "love" with the guy, I was getting there. I liked him a lot.
Long story short … it didn't end well. We were kind of drinking buddies, and .... well, alcohol lowers inhibitions, and men of all orientations and identities are horny buggers. I got into a habit of getting a bit gropey while we were both inebriated (him too), and things kept progressing. One night things hit a new level, the memories were a little too strong the next day, and we haven't spoken since (it's a complicated situation, there were a number of other, unrelated reasons too).
I still sometimes wonder just how far I could have taken it if I had been patient and tactful and bided my time, but bottom line ... most men who identify as straight, even if they'd never admit it in a thousand years, have had idle thoughts of letting another guy do things like give them a blowjob. Thoughts are one thing, though ... actions are another. If they could never be comfortable enough with themselves and their own sexuality to actually go through with it, if they just couldn't shake the spectre of social stigma --they're still effectively straight (i.e., don't even think about trying it unless you want to endure some of the greatest drama in your life).
My advice -- if you're positive he's straight (be honest, don't let wishful thinking get in the way), do your best to not focus on these feelings until they fade away over time. Get yourself out there, find some more realistic love interests, guys that may actually like you back! Fake it 'til you make it (it will happen eventually, I promise, it's part of the human experience), and see if you can really "just be friends" with the guy, and really believe it in your own heart.
I understand that it may not be possible to keep him in your life and accomplish that task if you really feel like you're in "love" with him, though (I've been in love, so I know). If you just can't heal while still being exposed to him constantly, the best thing you can give yourself is distance. The sooner you can make yourself move on and get over him, the better. There's no point in tormenting yourself with all the pining. Don't be dramatic and pouty and mysterious about it; just do your best to gradually pull away in a gentle way. All of a sudden you're super-busy, right?
I know that's easier said than done! I wish I could take my own advice.
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it wouldn't be love, it would be an obsession.
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I'll try to get over it and move on as soon as possible just like men who are in a relationship/married. The more you keep dreaming about how life's going to be with someone who isn't there, the more you hurt yourself and others in the progress. If he's really meant for you it'll come around.
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Wow, that is totally a great response and I agree. Those straight guys sometimes… LOL! ;D
Something like that happened to me a little while back. At least, even if I don't think I was in "love" with the guy, I was getting there. I liked him a lot.
Long story short … it didn't end well. We were kind of drinking buddies, and .... well, alcohol lowers inhibitions, and men of all orientations and identities are horny buggers. I got into a habit of getting a bit gropey while we were both inebriated (him too), and things kept progressing. One night things hit a new level, the memories were a little too strong the next day, and we haven't spoken since (it's a complicated situation, there were a number of other, unrelated reasons too).
I still sometimes wonder just how far I could have taken it if I had been patient and tactful and bided my time, but bottom line ... most men who identify as straight, even if they'd never admit it in a thousand years, have had idle thoughts of letting another guy do things like give them a blowjob. Thoughts are one thing, though ... actions are another. If they could never be comfortable enough with themselves and their own sexuality to actually go through with it, if they just couldn't shake the spectre of social stigma --they're still effectively straight (i.e., don't even think about trying it unless you want to endure some of the greatest drama in your life).
My advice -- if you're positive he's straight (be honest, don't let wishful thinking get in the way), do your best to not focus on these feelings until they fade away over time. Get yourself out there, find some more realistic love interests, guys that may actually like you back! Fake it 'til you make it (it will happen eventually, I promise, it's part of the human experience), and see if you can really "just be friends" with the guy, and really believe it in your own heart.
I understand that it may not be possible to keep him in your life and accomplish that task if you really feel like you're in "love" with him, though (I've been in love, so I know). If you just can't heal while still being exposed to him constantly, the best thing you can give yourself is distance. The sooner you can make yourself move on and get over him, the better. There's no point in tormenting yourself with all the pining. Don't be dramatic and pouty and mysterious about it; just do your best to gradually pull away in a gentle way. All of a sudden you're super-busy, right?
I know that's easier said than done! I wish I could take my own advice.
Hit the nail on the head, I have fallen in love with a straight guy before. Lets just say it ended badly. My advice is whatever signs you read…. forget them. They are not there. I stupidly acted on mine and got knocked back hard.
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Well, i didn't read the topic yet, but i'm gonna tell you what i know about it. When it comes about this things i would never take advice from anyone except from me; I do know what i'm talking about… let's say that
It's all about chemistry and Situations that can happen, there are an infinity of situations, interest can happen suddenly and no one can control your own libido.
Believe me, i've seen straight guys falling in love with EACH OTHER. it's all about proximity and situations that can take you somewhere.
Society only works this way because it was "built" this way, but believe me. all of this can change in one second.
THE ONLY THING i think you should first do is. IF YOU LIKE HIM, be close to him, or you will probably never get anything!
Maybe have some fun together? or maybe not? If he thinks you are a nice person, it maybe happen, it maybe do not. i've also seen the opposite, two dudes who thought they hated each other, ended you liking each other. MY POINT IS: there is NO RULE on this. just break the wall (the wall that actually does not exist) and maybe he will care about you!
BUT IF THIS DON'T HAPPEN, believe is, IT'S NOT because he is Straight. it is just because IT DIDN'T HAPPENED! no one can ever show you an example, because every situation is a different situation.
i'm not trying the prove anything to anyone here, but that's the truth!
Some people are too "let's follow the world the way it is" they think there is something "concrete" about society, they just don't get it! -
I am sure it wouldn't be the easiest thing to deal with, but I think I would just try and be friends with him. It would be better to have him in my life than to just have him as a memory.
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I am sure it wouldn't be the easiest thing to deal with, but I think I would just try and be friends with him. It would be better to have him in my life than to just have him as a memory.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're speaking from the perspective of someone going through something like that himself?
Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just speculating.
I'm going to have to disagree, though … I've done the whole burning-a-candle-for-someone thing before, and the only thing that has ever helped me move on was that final stage of simply not being around that person anymore.
It royally sucks, but if there's a way to permanently turn that switch off in your head that made you love that person, other than coming to outright dislike them through bad turns of events .... I don't know of it. Or maybe it's just me.
Distance is what heals in love situations that can never be resolved. Why throw yourself (and your heart) onto the daggers of your own personal tragedy past the moment you can force yourself to stop?
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don't do it. you only live once.
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Lots of good comments here.
First and for most, you need to be clear on what you are feeling. You can desire him, be infatuated with him, lust for him, and even love him. But you need to be absolutely sure what you feel.
Once you figure out the honest feeling you have, realize he is going to want something different.
If what he is willing to offer you now is sufficient for the rest of your life, then accept what it is. If not, you have to ask yourself "Am I willing to lose what I have now?" If not, then accept his companionship and friendship and move on.
It takes two people to make a relationship.
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you'll find someone better soon enough and forget he ever exist. or may be that's just me. i fall in love with just anyone hmmm…
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I fell in love with a straight man. It was too wonderful to resist. I stayed grounded in reality and made a deliberate decision to cherish as much or as little that he could give me. Total acceptance of him, unconditionally. Not one other person in his life be they friend, family, wife, etc gives him tthat same appreciation and he knows it. He enjoys having that special thing I have for him.
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Just leave it!!! Trust me, it only ends ugly… You don't deserve that. It's impossible to change his sexual preference
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I can see falling in lust for a straight guy but not love. That requires much more than the straight guys going to give.
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:blownose: i think it is a tough thing
You have no idea.
I will share my experience!
In Greece, the military service is something that every man has to go through.
When i reported for duty, i met this guy…. he was my sergeant. You wouldn't say that he was attractive, but, man, sure he held my heart captive.
I serviced 9 whole months in the region of Evros with him but i never dared to reveal my feelings for him.
The enviroment plus the fact that he was straight and fallen for a slut of a woman, forced me to hide my feelings for him and we remain friends until we were seperated since he was transfered into another unit in Greece. My heart was utterly shattered.
Ten years later i learned that he was married and he had a daughter with the bitch!
I was so....heartbroken! :cry2: -
Been there, done that and have a million t-shirts!! Straight men, who engage in friendships with gay men are always cool by me. It's when they start to get too comfortable that it becomes a problem and those feelings begin to grow. If you haven't learned to control your emotions, then you will always have an issue, especially in these days and times where there is basically no boundaries between gay and straight.
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It has happened to me. My advice, tell him and lose touch as soon as you can.
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Gay man don't like all other gay men too. it's just like falling for gay guy that doesn't like you. you can try if want but you know the possibility of him liking you back is very minimal( i think the probability in the case with straight man is higher).
