Posts made by leatherbear

More….

A gay guy walks into the doctors office. He takes off his clothes for examination.

When he takes his clothes off the doctor sees a Nicoderm patch at the end of his penis.

The doctor says… "Hmmm, that's interesting... Does it work?"

The man answers... "Sure does... I haven't had a butt in 3 weeks!"

:fufu: = Drilling   

Why was the gay sergeant fired?

He was caught drilling the platoon.

These are so much HOTTER than I imagined them and I am in love with Sitka now!!!

The Synod of the Lutheran Church of Sweden has come down in favour of church weddings for homosexuals in a vote held on Thursday morning.

The decision, which is based on a proposal from the church’s governing board, means that the Church of Sweden will conduct wedding ceremonies for both heterosexual and homosexual couples.

The proposal was approved by 176 of 249 voting members.

The decision comes just three days after the 30th anniversary of the date when homosexuality stopped being classified as a disease in Sweden.

“The Synod’s decision takes a stance in favour of an inclusive view of people. Regardless of whether one is religious or not, this affects the entire social climate and the view of people’s equal value,” said Åsa Regnér, head of the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU), in a statement.

In June, the church board took the first step towards permitting same-sex marriages by submitting a petition to the Church of Sweden Synod – the church's highest decision-making body.

The board proposed the church continue to perform wedding ceremonies following new legislation which came into force on May 1st and grants same-sex couples in Sweden the same legal marriage status as heterosexuals.

Current church regulations will likely continue to apply in practice, with some alterations, such as replacing “man and wife” with “lawfully wedded spouses” when a homosexual couple is married.

Since 2007, the Church of Sweden, which counts around 74 percent of Swedes as members, has offered gays a religious blessing of their union.

The ruling by the Synod, which has 251 delegates - two of which were absent from Thursday's vote, puts Sweden among the first countries in the world to allow gays to marry in a major church.

In moving ahead with the decision to perform same-sex marriages, the Church of Sweden ignored concerns expressed earlier this year by the Church of England in a strongly worded letter to Swedish archbishop Anders Wejryd that the move could lead to “an impairment of the relationships between the churches”.

Church of England spokesperson Steve Jenkins confirmed that relations between the two churches may be headed for turbulent phase in the wake of the decision.

“Those concerns remain,” he told The Local, referring to the letter from English bishops Christopher Hill and John Hind.

He added that he didn’t know of any plans by the English Church to issue a formal statement in response to the Church of Sweden’s decision.

A Ugandan Parliamentarian wants to outlaw homosexuality and prescribe the death penalty for having sex while HIV positive. The worse news is, he might actually get what he wants.

Ugandans can't stop talking about the very thing many argue should be taboo: homosexuality. On Oct. 14, Ugandan Parliamentarian David Bahati introduced the Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009, an effort, he says, to protect Ugandan families from what he terms the "creeping evil" of homosexuality. It's not the first attempt by an African country to outlaw homosexuality, but it may well be the most extreme. Included in the draft text are not only condemnations of same-sex relations, but a new crime that carries the death penalty, and a criminal sentence for having sex while HIV positive. Human rights advocates say it's illegal, not to mention an outrage. Gay activists say they will live in fear even more than they do now. But the vast majority of Ugandans, sadly, may agree with the law; a 2007 poll found that 95 percent of those surveyed strongly opposed legalizing same-sex relations, period.

Why homosexuality has become such an explosive issue in Uganda has to do, in part, with the complex set of social issues wrapped up in it. These include the erosion of the nuclear family, the influx of global culture, and an epidemic of a HIV/AIDS, whose treatment forces individuals and families to break every social taboo. Most importantly, Ugandans are extremely religious, with more than 94 percent saying religion was important in their lives in a 2008 survey by Afrobarometer. And from the country's varied branches of Christianity to its sizable Muslim community, no one preaches tolerance of gay rights.

"This bill is really a summation of an aspiration of Ugandans who believe the traditional family needs to be protected from foreign and internal threats," Bahati, a jovial former accountant who looks much younger than his 35 years, told me. In an interview last week in his small office inside the Ugandan parliamentary complex, Bahati explained that he was not trying to cause controversy by introducing the new bill, though he has received dozens of phone calls from journalists and donors, and even a few threats. "We have our own values as much as we respect the values of others, and we think that homosexuality is not a right."

Homosexuality has always been illegal in Uganda. The Penal Code, drawn heavily from British colonial laws, bans "carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature," with a possible penalty of life imprisonment. Still, the issue has rarely been a high priority of enforcement for police or the government. Arrests are uncommon, and prosecutions almost nonexistent, in large part because the standard of proof requires authorities to catch offenders in the act.

Bahati's bill would make such arrests and prosecutions easier, something critics warn could be used to falsely accuse rivals or enemies, but proponents say is necessary to give the current ban teeth. In addition to outlawing "any form of sexual relations between persons of the same sex" with penalties up to life imprisonment, the proposed bill criminalizes attempted homosexuality, the aiding and abetting of homosexuality, and promotion of homosexuality – each carrying a possible prison sentence of seven years. Failure to disclose an offense is also punishable by a fine and three years in prison. And anyone with knowledge of crimes committed is obligated to report them to the authorities within 24 hours. The legislation also creates a new category of offense, "aggravated homosexuality," which is punishable with death. The latter crime would include having homosexual sex with a minor or someone with a disability or having homosexual sex while HIV positive (the bill makes no distinction about whether offenders must be knowingly infected to qualify.)

If homosexuality were legalized, Bahati says, "Our moral fiber will just be torn down. Society will just be in chaos. You'll see men marrying men, which is contrary to what we believe in."

UN panel alarmed by Russian killings of gays and lesbians, others
By The Associated Press
10.30.2009 11:23am EDT
(Geneva) Russia fails to protect journalists, activists, prison inmates, gays and lesbians and others at odds with authorities from a wide range of abuses, including torture and murder, the U.N. Human Rights Committee said Friday.

The findings came in a report by an 18-member panel of independent experts who urged the Kremlin to implement a number of legal reforms. They include narrowing the broad definitions of terrorism and extremism under Russian law, decriminalizing defamation cases against journalists and granting appeal rights to people forced into psychiatric hospitals by the courts.
The expert panel said it also was concerned about violence against lesbian, gay and bisexual persons, including reports of police harassment. It said it received reports of people being assaulted or even killed because they were gay or lesbian. The panel said it was concerned at the “systematic discrimination against individuals on the basis of their sexual orientation” in Russia.

Homosexuality was decriminalized in Russia in the 1990s, but many Russians are vehemently opposed to expansion of gay rights or gay-rights demonstrations. Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov is an outspoken foe of gay rights and always has blocked attempts to hold gay pride marches in the capital, calling one a satanic gathering.

The U.N. panel – which this week assessed the compliance of Russia and four other countries with the U.N.’s 1966 international treaty on civil and political rights – receives its information from various U.N. agencies, non-governmental organizations and cases at the European Court of Human Rights.

There was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town square.

The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the square.

One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a local who is squatted down next to his camel. "What time is it, sir?"

The local reaches out and softly cups the camel's genitals in his hand, and raises them up and down.

"It's about 2:00", he says.

The tourist can't believe what he just saw.

He runs back to the bus, and sure enough, it is 2:00. He tells a few of the fellow tourists his story,

"The man can tell the time by the weight of the camel's genitals!"

One of the doubting tourists walks back to the local and asks him the time, the same thing happens!! It is 2:05.p.m.

He runs back to tell the story. Finally, the bus driver wants to know how it is done.

He walks over and asks the local how he knows the time from the camel's genitals.

The local says "Sit down here and grab the camel's genitals". "Now, lift them up in the air.

Now, look underneath them to the other side of the courtyard, where that clock is hanging on the wall."

Three guys go to see a witch doctor about their problems.

One has a smoking problem, one is an alcholic and one is gay but wants to change.

The docter puts a curse on them that if any of them indulge their habits again they will die.

Two days later the alcholic dies because he gave in and had to drink.

The next day the gay guy and the smoker are walking down the street together. The smoker sees a cigarette on the ground and stops to stare at it.

The gay guy looked at him and said "If you bend over and pick that up we are both fucked"

Great post!!!

UPDATE

More held over homophobic attack

Six more youths have been arrested over a homophobic attack on a trainee police officer in
Liverpool city centre.

James Parkes, 22, was assaulted by up to 20 people outside Superstar Boudoir in Stanley Street
on Sunday night.

He suffered multiple skull fractures and is in a "critical but stable" condition in hospital, police
said.

The boys, one aged 13, two aged 15 and two aged 16, were arrested overnight and bailed.
Another boy, 15, was arrested earlier.

Six others have been bailed.

Studying CCTV footage

All 12 suspects, who are from Kirkdale, Anfield, Kensington, Fazakerley and Walton, were
arrested on suspicion of assault.

The 15-year-old is still being questioned by detectives.

Mr Parkes was attacked as he left the bar with his male partner and two friends at 2200 GMT.

He previously worked as a community support officer before joining Merseyside Police as a
trainee officer in May.

Officers are still reviewing CCTV footage from a number of bars on Stanley Street.

The city's gay community have organised a candlelit vigil to take place at the scene of the attack
on Sunday evening.

Hundreds of people are expected to attend.

John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.

While wandering around naked he sopts a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"

John replies: "No!"

She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."

She then layes him down and starts making love to him.

Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you callfor me?"

John replies, "No!"

The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.

As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I help you ?"

John says "Here's my room keys I'm leaving early"

The manager asks why and John replies "I'm 60 years old, I get an erection once a week but I fart 20 times a day !!"

:cheers: :cheers:

See Attachment…....

HUMMINGBIRD CAKE

Ingredients

250g (8 oz) self-raising flour or add 1 tsp baking powder to plain flour
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground coriander
270g (9.5 oz) brown sugar
440g (1 lb) can crushed pineapple, drained
50g (2 oz) desiccated coconut
2 ripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
2 eggs, lightly beaten
250ml (1 cup) sunflower oil

CREAM CHEESE ICING
100g (3.5 oz) cream cheese
50g (2 oz) unsalted butter
1 tsp vanilla extract
225g (1.5 cups) icing sugar mixture
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts, to garnish (optional)

Method

Preheat oven to 170°C.

Grease and line the base of a 23cm (9in) square cake pan. Sift flour and spices into a large bowl.
Add sugar, pineapple, coconut, banana, walnuts, eggs and oil. Stir to combine.

Spread into lined pan and bake for 40 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes
out clean. Place on a rack and set aside to cool.

To make icing, place cheese, butter, vanilla and icing sugar in an electric mixer and beat until
smooth. Spread on top of cooled cake. Garnish with walnuts, if desired.

Variations

Add 2 tsp lemon juice to the icing for extra tang.

Add chopped dried fruit like dates or apricots to the cake batter.

Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
–----------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they
are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..

Q: How do you
keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the
email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"