your thought are too complicated. it’s not easy to make you clear or never been done. >:D
if you feel lonely means you need someone’s care. you need someone make you safety. i don’t think a friend can help you, you need a partner who really care about you. otherwise you lives well alone.
if you get older your body will become weaker, you need a person help you to call an ambulance and take care of you till get well. Not to starve on the bed. live together have this kind of responsibility.
i’m not the right person to give you such advices. i love my brother, but we don’t live together, each of us may have our family and children, that sounds weird i really love him, love a person don’t mean you need live with him, love is an emotion can’t be controlled by yourself. so one day you meet your love, you will feel that and not doubt anymore.