Posts made by fancydude

George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth and Alexander Putin die and go to hell.  They try to make a deal with devil and he says for the right amount of bail, they can be returned to earth.  Queen Elizabeth asks if she can call England. "Yes" says the devil, but it is going to cost you.  She calls and talks about 15 minutes.  The Devil says "That will be $2 million dollars."  The Queen writes out the check. Prime Minister Putin calls Russia, speaks about 1/2 hour and the devil tells him that will be $6 million dollars.  He also writes out a check.  George W calls Texas, speaks for about 2 hours and when he's done, the devil says "that will be $5."  The Queen and Putin protest - asking why they had to pay so much.  The devil said, "Hey, after 8 years of George W. Bush, America's economy went to hell, so now it is a local call."

Wow, I can hardly speak.  Or is it because my mouth is full?

(THANKS FOR THE FABULOUS PHOTOS!)

Reply #5 Mr. M - where does one even find out such info about Marilyn Manson?  I'd never heard that.  Which I'm not doubting you but wow!

Mr. AP - true enough, if you're not flexible, yeah I agree even 15" won't be enough.  But it would be a lot easier for him to "get flexible" through exercise & stretching to eventually suck most of it than it would be for a guy with a standard 6" or 7" right?  He'd certainly have enough incentive to do the exercise based on the comments here!  Then again, a guy with 15" probably would never have need to suck himself off….........

I don't know Mr. M - $4,000 vs. $500 in a straight porn movie….to fuck a guy - that is a lot of dough for a few hours work (they say there are-takes, and many angles etc.)  There's no possibility that a few might be Gay for pay at that kind of salary?  I already did say I agree with Leatherbear that MOST guys who say they're straight and do Gay porn are Gay.

Yes, Damon Dogg eats cum, but he has so many tatoos, and shavings in his head etc. he is getting to look too bizarre to me.  I know some like that, so I readily accept it is my opinion.  And I think I saw some of the OTB - is that the grouip with the skinny Asian guys?

Leatherbear - I removed the one where I said I was foolish not to search for a topic (before posting a new topic) and then  I read your reply.  I didn't think it would let me do it, but I just tried it anyway!

Well, like I said in my updated 'reply' above, people will do anything for money, including pretend to love someone, clean out their bank accounts without losing a wink of sleep.  Granted, this is the tiny minority of people (I hope!) - shoot, I  read a story (in the regular printed newspaper!) about a guy fucking his own wife on her cancer bed.  The daughter got suspicious and put a noise activated tape recorder under the bed.  How insensitive is that - the woman is dying in pain and her pig of a husband has to get his rocks off.  So yeah, I think there is Gay for pay, and maybe we actually agree after all, that it is just very few.

Wow, thanks for the fast reply, Mr. Ultimate.  If you really are, I'd like to meet/meat you!  Anyway, I don't remember if it is Factory or TIM, but one of those advertise heavily about "cum eating" and then in film after film the guy cums one drop or something.  I found for the cum eating of the other guy those Slurpin' Jizz ones are about the best.  Bareback Academy (the first one is amazing).  Mostly though they just promise and don't deliver.  Which I don't understand.  If you're going to have sex with a 'stranger' , cum eating is a lot safer than barebacking, relatively speaking.  And then you have the 'gross' ones with Alan Gregory and Jeff Palmer where it is probably fake, there is so much, it looks like they've taken a bath in cum!  Although, again, I don't remember the title, but Damon Dogg is shooting into this really cute guy's mouth, they're at an outdoor pool, at someone's home.  I mean you can see it shooting right in from at least half a foot away, not dripping in.

So in other words, I've looked at a few really good ones, and a lot of clunkers.

The American wrestler's coach are talking about the imminent final match at the international competition.  The coach tells him:  "Now remember, we've done a lot of research on this Russian guy and he has never lost a match because of his special 'pretzel hold' maneuver.  If he gets you in that position, you're through."  The American nods, in understanding.

The match begins, the American and Russian circle each other several times; the Russian lunges, and gets the American in the dreaded pretzel hold.  The American side of the crowd groans, knowing all is lost.  The coach buries his face in his hands, not being able to look at the finale.

Suddenly there is a scream, the American crowd cheers! The coach opens his eyes just quick enough to see the Russian flying in the air and the American collapsing weakly on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The coach finally gets the wrestler alone after the press interviews etc. and excitedly asks "How did you do it, no one has ever escaped the pretzel hold before? !"

"Well," the American wrestler said "I thought all was lost when I got in that pretzel hold, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls in front of my face.  Heck I had nothing to lose, so with the last bit of strength I could muster.  I bit them as hard as I could.  You'd be amazed at how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

** I started a new topic on this subject in error today and the moderator put it here:    I have a few new ideas and I will now comment on what precedes here:

RE: Gay for pay:  I mostly agree with someone who said approximately "anyone can have sex with anyone" for sexual release. What goes on in prison is proof of that.  (continuing their quote: But who you love and want to be with is your orientation.)  I also read that Western civiilzation (Europe & USA) much more than other cultures 'forces' people to choose to identify as either Gay or Straight.  To say it another way, many other cultures understand the sexuality is fluid for some.  It is hard for me to imagine a guy getting fucked in the ass JUST for the money, but then people do lots of things for money all the time.

But my hunch is most of the guys like Gay sex, they just can't admit it because it is so taboo in our Western civilization. Even the 30% who are straight per the HBO special - in my personal opinon that is probably a high estimate –think about this:  most boys at a young age think a pussy looks disgusting.  But something changes at puberty or whatever and most guys go pussy crazy.  Not sure why, since it would seem anal sex is pretty close to vaginal sex and I don't know how a blindfolded man would tell whether he was fucking (or esp. getting a BJ) from a man or woman ? I would go further and say if a man can eat a pussy  -  which the jokes about the smell are endless right? - I can't imagine that same man would have problem sucking a nice clean dick. I do have a couple Gay male friends who did eat pussy and said it was like (shit I can't remember - something 'stale' or 2 day old damp grass ?  and of course NEVER AGAIN ) but they said the fucking wasn't so bad.  They succumbed at least partly to social pressure "how do you know you're Gay if you've never been with a woman?  Although the reverse statement never is seriously considered!

And of course the 30% HBO number doesn't account for all the guys who figure out much later they are really Gay.  How many of these just stay married since they now have entangled finances and kids and somewhat satisfy their Gay urges by  have sex with men at the rest stops and in the parks?  There are raids all the time catching married men.  But remember even before you know what sex is you know you're not supposed to like boys, not supposed to look at the bulge in their underwear or look at boy's cocks in the shower at gym so it mostly  just social or religious pressure to not have sex (AND LOVE) with men.

So my bottom line conclusion - some people can say "I love you" marry etc., clean out another person's bank account, kill rape and maim.  So yeah, some guys can fuck guys for money.  But I don't think that many men are truly Gay for Pay only.

***** below is today's post:  (a few different thoughts with questions I'd like answered by others:)**I was checking out one of the pay-per-view sites for movie titles the other day, since you can actually see many more photos than here (to pick out a good movie to download here at GT.ru)  and I was amazed to see hundreds and hundreds of titles that I've never seen here.  Maybe thousands.

Then I thought - all of these 10's of thousands of guys can't ALL be Gay for Pay.  Or are they?  Or are there tons of guys who are really Gay (in porn and maybe their true orientation) but then closeted in their daily lives?  What comes to mind, there is a studio that specializes in Slavic guys, very prolific producer.  Handsome, muscular guys, beautiful smiles, hair..  Except I noticed that when they give each other head, they only take the tip and it looks kinda mechanical.  Same for the kissing. Fucking ? Oh yeah, these guys can nail that.   So I can't help but think that most these guys are Gay for Pay.

I"m not talking about self-suck - sometimes I will see it in a movie totally unexpectedly, it is almost never in the written description.  and only occasionally in the photos.  What I really liked, and I have it some place but can't find the damn movie - this guy is in the woods and he jacks off into his own hand, a HUGE load and then licks it off, making sure you can really see the cum going on his tongue and in his mouth.

Or a guy will pull out of a guy's ass, cum on his cheeks or chest, depending on the position they are fucking (obviously)  and bend down to lick it off.

Although if someone wants to suggest self suck titles, that's great too, as long as it goes in his mouth and is not a facial.

THANKS  GUYS

An obvious couple questions, but I have to ask just the same:

1.  How come you can generally find photos of guys doing this, but in the self-suck movies they barely get the tips of the head in (mostly, not always of course)

2.  Related to question 1, how come some producer can't find a really hung guy to suck himself off and GET more of his own penis in his mouth?  I mean some of these guys in these movies are 10 or 12 inches, it seems like it would be easy for them.

Just curious and yeah, I wish I could do it to.  Brandon, you'd have to leave the house eventually just to "get some rest" since you'd be so exhausted from sucking yourself off!

There are a lot of good and interesting things here but where is this cheap Worcestershire sauce?  It is expensive everywhere I shop!

And the lady that can't remember to buy laundry soap?  How old is this hint? I haven't seen washing soda for years.  And Borax?  Most larger supermarkets have it and I like it & use it;  but how does she remember to buy that and not the laundry soap?  They are right next to each other!  And a half a bar of soap for each load of clothes?  Sounds very very expensive. (well, she doesn't say how much to use!)   But for really difficult dirt/stains it may be worth giving a try, presuming you can find the washing soda!

I like MaryEllen's hints, Heloise and Jerry Baker each have whole books of hints, well organized into chapters about food/clothes/laundry etc.  .  My favorite is the one with the aluminum foil in a pan of hot water to polish silver and you add (water softener powder?)  I forget. Just touch the silver to the foil and tarnish disappears.  Amazing.  But you still need to follow up with real polish for the soft glow.  But with the major black stuff gone, it is much easier.   Except hardly anyone uses real silverplated stuff any more.  However, the best hint for that is AFTER you get your silver platters and whatnot polished, wrap them in plastic wrap - and they won't tarnish hardly at all.  You will see just a little where the air bubbles (in the plastic) are, since of course you can't get it as tight as shrink wrap.

not quite me - #7 who are you replying to? The original poster asserted that America discriminates against Muslims, as well as going into topics of convoluted utter nonsense.  WV sailor went off on a tangent in my opinion by talking about a personal experience with teenagers apologizing to him at the requirement of their parents.  I truly do not mean to be snarky here, but stating some people are nice and others not in any given group is to state the obvious, don't you think?  I was trying to relate WV sailor directly to the topic and I can't.  That's why I asked if I missed something.  Again, though even staying with the topic of discrimination - America pledges at least to not do it, but of course there will always be some bigots; but do the Arab countries make the same pledge?  For decades the official policy of the most of their governments, printed for all to see was the destruction of Israel!

A middle aged Gay married couple are talking about what to do with their income tax refund.  Fred says to Bill, "you know Fred, I'd like to take part of that money and have that new cock-enlargement surgery."  Bill says "I'd really rather uuse it to pay down the mortgage."  Fred persists and Bill finally says " you know, I just thought - you don't need the surgery at all.  Just rub toliet paper on it."  Bill asks "How is that going to make my cock larger?"  Fred says "I don't know but after all these years, it sure worked on your ass!"

Ted - Did you know condoms had serial numbers?
Ned - No really?
Ted - Guess you never had 'em rolled out far enough!

Man finds a magic mirror - hangs it on the back of his door.  Says "mirror mirror on the door, Please make my cock touch the floor."  And his legs fall off.

Oh dear, I don't have a clue about 1/2 of these. Yikes.

Count Achee - there is a Greek philosopher named Terence I think, in 400 BC he said "nothing human is alien to me."

So….. considering all the weird things we here about and many more that would never be allowed on the news - did you see the one last year about the guy fucking horses?  AND he was put on probation, and wasn't embarrassed enough, got caught again - got 3 years in prison?  yeah...... this probably has happened somewhere in the world - knowing how badly drunks 'need' a drink!  Good observation! 

These two drunks were sitting under a tree at the edge of town, waking up in the late morning.  One says to the other, "Man I could go for a drink."  "Me too," says the second, "but we're flat broke."  The first one thought for a while and said "Hey, I got this smoked sausage in my pocket and I have an idea."  So they walked into town, ordered some drinks at the nearest bar, and then some more.  When the bartender demanded payment, the drunk pulled the sausage out of his pocket, put it between his friend's legs and pretended to give him head.  The bartender say's "hey you guys can't do that in here, get out!"  And so it went, and the two men obtained free drinks at several more bars and finally retired back to their tree, totally plastered.  After sitting there a while, the second guy says, "you know, all those free drinks were great, but I'm a little hungry, give me some of that sausage."  The first guy says"  What sausage?  I ate that after we left the first bar!"

Q.  What is the difference between a straight rooster and a Gay rooster?

A. In the morning, the straight rooster crows " Cock-a-doodle-do! and the Gay rooster crows "Any-cock-will-do!"

Why E-mail Is Like a Penis

1. Some people have it, some don't.
2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.
3. It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
4. Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
5. If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
7. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
8. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
9. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.

***************************

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.

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Two new young interns are hired in the White House. They are walking down the hall when President Clinton sees them. The President walks up and says, "Gee, I've never come across your faces before."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examining his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."

The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

oxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.

Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his dick. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"

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Story of a Gay Man who just turned 47

When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.

When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a guy with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.

He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him. He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything I owned, and ran off with my best friend.

I am now 47 and am looking for a guy with a big dick.

A man goes hunting for bears one year, sets up a blind and waits for a bear to come along.  After a while, a nice grizzly appears and the man shoots, but his gun jams.  The bear of course, notices this and grabs the man and says "hey, I don't appreciate getting shot at, I"m going to fuck your ass real good teach you a lesson."  And he does.  The hunter is furious and decides he is going to get even with the bear so he goes to the store and gets a bigger gun.  Again he hides in his blind, the bear walks by and again the gun jams.  The bear tells the man, I'm going to fuck you in your rosy pink ass twice now!"  And the bear does.  The man is really angry now, vows with his last breath he's going to get even with the bear.  He goes to the sporting shop and gets a bow and arrow since the guns don't seem to be working for him.  He hides in the blind for the third time, the bear walks by.  He aims the bow and arrow, pulls back the string, just as he goes to release the arrow, a gust of wind blows dust in his eyes and he misses.  The bear again grabs him and says " You're not really here for hunting, are you?"