I'm sorry but to me "look for friends in the bath house" is such a fucking bullshit. Maybe I am oldschool but lol this why I'm getting irritated in gay society. I just don't think that you have to necessarily make friends with gays just because you're gay. I have like 700 or 800 friends on social media and maybe 1-3% is gay.
I see the problem, you don't know anyone here so you can't go out with someone and then meet your friends' friends and create chain or something. But well there are plenty of ways. Work on your confidence. Don't be scared of being rejected. Everyone is being rejected. I've been rejected my whole life, but I'm trying. Even my ex who people and I for myself mistook for a god was rejected by just another guy. Rejection is such a part of the life. Embrace it and learn from it. Remember always to ask for a reason, like "why?" and everything might be not as it seems.
As for meeting people. I came for a trip to another city. My ex didn't have time so I went for a walk. During the walk I met like 3 different people one of which was Erasmus student, she was heading in the same direction so we just walked together and started talking. Just be natural and the talk will come out automatically. Don't think about how to start just go with the flow. When we arrived like 10-15 minutes later she didn't want to leave 😄 invited me for a party and I guess she was sad we parted cause she just stood there and we hugged and went in our direction. Not few steps further I shared smoke with a guy who had his first day at job of inviting people to the restaurant. I gave him few tips and tried to encourage him and talk to people myself. Be brave 🙂 People will be impressed by you.
Next thing if you have an occasion like I don't know an evening in the pub with people from work or something like that just use it. You can really chat to people with no big reason just create the opportunity. You say Grindr is for fucking, right. What about other portals ? I don't mean interpals but there are sure some. Or maybe an UK gay dating site ? Is there one? Cause we have a few even in Poland. If it's about the app use Tinder. You can do a lot of stuff with it. People are not looking for sex there so it'll be ok. Sometimes I'm like "I'm going for a walk - if you're interested you have an hour if not I understand and we're cool" or I just text in my nickname "A walk?" or something like that. You would be surprised but there are people even on Grindr that will go with it. But yeah you even have a weird option in Tinder to come out in group but I don't know how it works it might be pretty stupid. Maybe also think about instagram ? Met my ex there.
If you're worried about your look - well do what you can do to make it better. If there's nothing yet more you can do and you tried anything that means you feel good with yourself and it might attract other people too 🙂 Just don't lose hope. I'm feeling like shit sometimes too. Fighting with depression for 10 years. But there will be better times you really have to believe it.
