Posts made by ballard1

Hi all,

I had been pondering for a while now the question if three people can have a functioning love relationship.
The upload of the documentary THREE brought up some interesting points in a conversation I had with Mike in the comments section. http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110516
So what do you think? Does it work?
Share your experiences and opinions.

B.

Here the comments:

#61254 by mikexryanDonor (User) at 2011-07-05 05:42:50 GMT-
Just a quick note to thank you for uploading this video.  I fell head over heels in love with all three of these guys and the documentary deserves accolades and awards.  Excellent!  Thank you sooooo much!

#61261 by richardg8092 (User) at 2011-07-05 11:56:07 GMT-
OK - I admit it - I started watching this purely for the perv value.
But the further in I got, the more interesting it became.
These three boys seem to have the most amazing 3some relationship. And it's all so natural. Makes you wonder why we don't hear more about this kind of thing….
I've found myself thinking about this documentary for days afterwards.
Intriguing. Well worth the download.

#61300 by mikexryanDonor (User) at 2011-07-06 03:14:56 GMT-
I STILL think about this documentary and even tho' married, have not shared it with my husband yet because the idea of bringing in a third is intriguing to me, not so sure about him (husband).  These three guys are in their mid-twenties (I'd guess) while Greg and I are now 31 and he 33.  Greg had been married to his college girlfriend at twenty and divorced five years later when we met as coaches on a junior soccer league for 12YOs.  He had never been in a same-sex relationship much less kissed a guy but I made it clear up front that I was openly gay and it didn't seem to bother him.  We surfed, played tennis, went to Giants baseball games, he came for breakfast lunch and dinner - I had been a chef for three years and he still can't make toast.  He's all guy, can't decorate or put a bouquet together but he can design a beautiful building. We became inseparable and he would always 'check in' with me - "We going out for dinner tonight? You wanna see a movie? Meet me at the Royal Coffee House..." stuff like that.  I was mad for him - shoulder length brown hair, big brown eyes, a surfer's body, great chest, legs, arms, beautiful smile, a quiet kind of guy.  I wanted to go to bed with all that at least once and now it is every night.  I finally broke down and confessed my feelings and he panicked.  We didn't speak for three days and it was killing me then he quietly knocked at the door.  "You gotta show me what to do..."

That was back in 2004 just before our Mayor announced he was going to allow same-sex marriage.  We had lived together for five months by then and he had changed from a guy who was at first reluctant to hold my hand in public to a guy who would kiss me goodbye in front of his co-workers and boss as though we were alone, in the kitchen.  And it was his proposal two days before Newsom declared gay marriage when he stepped into my shower one morning, "If we could get married would you marry me?  You know I love you, right?"  That was the first time he had ever said those words to me even tho' I had said them to him many times.  So we did get married three weeks later in the backyard of my oldest gay friend over in Castro.  That was, geez, seven years ago.

Anyway ... I'm veering off here ...  he remains the most exciting man to me and we have sex just about everywhere.  He is continually hit on by women - they have even called the house not aware that he is married to another man! And it is disconcerting when we walk into a business party (he's an architect) or business dinner where people don't know we're a couple much less legally married.  Despite being introduced as his husband some women ignore it or believe they can convince him otherwise.  I used to wonder what he said and was standing back to back when I heard him tell a pretty brunette probably twenty that he was 'taken'.  "Is she here?" asked the women and he looked around, found me behind him and took ahold of my suit coat and tugged me toward him.  "No, but he is.  Have you met my better half?"

Again, I'm veering off.

Our marriage has little in common with "Three" other then we love each other as much as John, Kris and Gary love each other.

And they do appear to be very much in love with each other.  There are some subtle signs tho' about their individual status and position within in the marriage - from what I got from the conversations John and Gary must have been a couple first for several years.  Gary and Kris don't wear wedding rings while John does.  Gary is the (openly) promiscuous one who insists on having sex outside the marriage and is required to wear a condom when they have sex together.  Gary is a dedicated bottom, doesn't like to top.  John comes off as the most masculine, the top, while Kris, handsome, hung, gregarious and the prettier of the three seems less secure and will perform as top and bottom - the 'pleaser' in the relationship.  He's the late comer to the marriage while Gary comes off as the outsider.  Example: When Gary arrives he has to be let into their home because he doesn't have a key (?) (John: "We should give him a key...")

Each incredibly sexy and good looking with beautiful bodies and ample cocks but then, the filmmaker is the guy behind Bel Ami productions which is probably where these three first met. Nice to know their real home is San Francisco (our home).

I did toss around the idea of running an ad on Craigslist seeking a possible third but let it go looking down at my own wedding ring.  I love Greg too much.  And I wonder where John, Kris and Gary are today, in 2011, because this film was made in 1996 - fifteen years ago.  Are they still together, happy in their three-way marriage?  Anyone know?  (Dear Filmmaker, a follow-up, please?)

A beautiful, well-made film.

Mike 

Last edited by mikexryan at 2011-07-06 03:55:23 GMT

#61304 by ballard1Donor (Power User) at 2011-07-06 05:04:05 GMT- [Edit]-
Hi Mike,

thanks for sharing your innermost thoughts. It's great to hear other opinions on this subject. Congrats on your marriage!
Well, I too have wondered what happened to the three boys from the docu… 15 years later. Two of them must be in their mid 40s by now. A followup would be cool.
What do you think about opening a thread on the subject THREE  in the forum? Would be interesting to see what others think about such relationships... I doubt that many people here will ever read this, now that the torrent is a few days old and the wave has passed...
Let me know.
B.

#61308 by mikexryanDonor (User) at 2011-07-06 06:18:27 GMT
Sounds like a good idea.  I would like to know what others may be feeling and may know about the trio.  You're right, they would be in their 40's now.  Look up Howard Roffman in Wikipedia - the man was (born 1955) and is an American lawyer representing Lucasfilms and a photographer who specializes in the male full frontal nude photography.  1955 vs 2011 would make him 56 today.  He lives in San Francisco with his long term partner Duane Waters.  The last artistic thing he did was a book entitled Texas Twins: The Story of Morgan & Nash by Howard Roffman (2007, Hardcover)  Review:  "This hot photo book explores the steamy world of male twins. In this case, The Story of Morgan and Nash- Texas Twins.  Nash is straight and Morgan is gay and even though they are identical twins they are different as night and day.  The photographer, Howard Roffman catches these young men at their best and he gives brief descriptions in his short foreword.  We are left to guess who is Nash and who is Morgan (unless I just missed the page that says WHO IS WHO.)  That's okay - it makes this coffee table photobook even hotter. It allows us to imagine. We get to see everthing on these young men- full frontal, playfulness and even vulnerability.  I am pretty sure I know which one is Nash and which one is Morgan. Let's just say- well-I'm good at solving mysteries- view this book and the mystery may solve itself- whatever that means."

This tells us Howard was active four years ago.  I'll look around SF and see if he is accessible.  Perhaps he can update us on John, Kris and Gary.

Mike

@pigtucket:

But back to my original question.  I can't see any difference between 1, 3, 4, and 5.  What am I missing.

Spacing and size of the letters in BAREBACK 

twinkletoes,

don't worry, I didn't feel attacked at all.
Sometimes I believe not everything can be handled by moderators. They didn't download the files themselves, so they don't know any better.
I think in cases like this, corrupted files, downloaders can deal with it themselves by commenting and warning others. Maybe it's also a good teaching lesson for everybody to actually read comments before they click on the download button. If others had a bad experience there is no reason to have it yourself. 
I am sorry to hear that you had experienced belligerent comments. Strange. I rarely come across any of these. See my examples above. These uploads just keep on giving. In a good way.
Sure, Daddy Mugs or Jake Cruise always invite some snarking, but so what? Don't take it personally. Of course comments are always subjective and you might not like what you are going to read.
But now that you are anonymous anyway, why do you care? Nobody (except moderators) knows that twinkeltoes is responsible for the upload. If you want the name recognition then you always can add "uploaded by twinkletoes". Just kidding.

:hug:

@twinkletoes:

Whereas, in my experience, much of the "Comments" and "Rating" is snarky, serving only to antagonize uploaders.

Some uploaders have to be antagonized! Like the guys uploading files knowing very well that they are corrupted! This is not acceptable IMHO.
They are dumping unusable files on everybody just to improve their ratios. Now that we are all anonymous it's not possible anymore to single them out and avoid them.
Where else, if not in the comment section, can you voice your frustration?

Wanna try an experiment? I have a corrupted file of a video everybody wants to see. I bet it will be downloaded like crazy. And then it's only a matter of time until the comment section fills up and the rating goes to zero. Ah well, I don't want to antagonize innocent downloaders… 

@twinkletoes:

This thread illustrates my reasons for suggesting that the torrent "Comments" section should be removed

twinkletoes,

I disagree on that.
Most people are too lazy to comment anyway. People who do most of the time have actually something to say. I've found funny or helpful comments. Or insightful and inspiring ones.
Just a few samples from my recent uploads…

http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=108471
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110678
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110516
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110130
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=108315

or it's a good way to get more information or warn others:
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110538

I definitely like the comments section because it's a good way to communicate outside of the forum and in regards to a specific upload.
Sure, sometimes comments, like all actions, can have unintended consequences. I think this is all this thread shows.

Oh my!
Well, since he posted the screen shot I might as well say that it was not my intention to make him go away. 
Ok, maybe I was a little harsh and overreached…  :-[
I could have been more sensitive and more constructive. Sometimes I don't consider that messages can come across much stronger than they are intended to be.
I certainly hope he comes back...

@xenu:

i would ask ballard but he doesnt allow his profile being shown which is pointless now because nothing is on there anymore that is personal.
could be a vista glitch. has no trouble making avi or wmv some others, but not mp4, mov, mkv…alas....

I always use the VLC player. It handles all formats and does great highres screenshots and thumbs…
Maybe not as convenient than a dedicated program but I like the output.

Congratulations… trial runs well...
There is only one thing.
I don't know if that would be too much work for the moderators but I wonder if it makes sense to award the points immediately at approval time.
This uploader (I assume it's the same in all three cases because the uploads are formatted in a similar way) does very well and gets rewarded for uploads meeting most criteria BUT there seem to be problems with his files!
Of course you guys cannot check the quality of the file at approval but waiting 24 hours before awarding the points gives you the opportunity to see the complaints in the comments section.
I haven't downloaded them myself so I can't tell what's wrong. But there seem to be issues.

http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110455
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110496
http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110479

@Uwe:

I prefer to proudly earn my Seed Bonus points my self and show that good ratio and gifting SBP is not incompatible  >:D

Well, just in case you run low I will gladly donate points to you  :hug:

Uwe, I am pretty sure not many guys are aware of the trial ratings system because not too many people bother to check out the forum.
Since it's only a trial and not all moderators are participating it probably doesn't make too much sense to announce it on the browse page.
But at least one guy was really happy about it: http://tracker.gaytorrent.ru/details.php?id=110401
:cheesy2:

Good work!
And yes: the Admin should reimburse you for the points you are handing out. After all they can "print" as many as they like…

Quote from: geographer on Yesterday at 09:36:51 pm

… add an entry stating at least 10 separate images (including the cover and screenshot sheet) ...

Uwe:  But that blocks adding more pictures by other members, e.g. a missing contact sheet ...

Uwe, sometimes I think it's not even a bad idea that not more than 10 pics are possible after the initial upload.
I usually make sure that I have at least 10 pics so that no other pics can be added.
Why? I've seen quite a few cases where the later added pics are from other videos and have nothing to do with the upload. Different vids, different people.
And maybe I am a bit anal about this (no pun intended), but later added pics can destroy the arrangement because they have a different size, etc.

I prefer to see the movie cover first, the scene pics, then maybe thumbs (although in most cases I think they are utterly useless). I prefer high quality screenshots which show the highlights chronologically. Screenshots which get actually bigger when you click on them and you don't need a magnifying glass to see anything!
The VLC player makes beautiful pics. Today I made some and they were 1MB in size. Now that's what I call a screenshot! Ok, I'm a sucker for aesthetics. 

@trukr:

Why not 2 rating systems? Keep the current one and have a staff rating system. This way each rating system can be used for their intended purpose, and Auto Approval users can benefit from the new rating system too. Staff can rate a torrent on it's download page rather than the approval list.

I don't think two rating systems is a good idea. The current one is broken. Too many people give bad ratings without even having seen the video or based on personal taste.
On the other hand: maybe it's possible that only people who actually have downloaded a video can rate? That would make a lot of sense. That would minimize the abuse of the rating system.

Uwe, don't you think that many members with Auto Approval need some "training" too?;-)  :police:  There are way to many uploads with picture sheets so small that it's impossible to see anything, with no information  about the video whatsoever, with file names which do not make any sense and make it impossible to identify a file once its on the hard drive, etc.
I applaud your teaching program. I think it will create a new generation of uploaders with better "upload ethics".

Brandon, just one more idea: maybe it's possible to "punish" people who are caught jumping on uploading torrents. Sure, there is no way to police this fairly but I think it might deter jumpers if they know that they will get a deduction if they are caught. It annoys me when I can seed only 80Mb of a 400MB file because somebody jumped on my upload. They easily could wait until the file is uploaded.

@geographer:

Exactly. Everybody likes good quality, but I wouldn't want to start a mass discrimination

Although… Not sure if it would be fair to rate equally a DVD and an xtube collection, assuming they both match the theoretical standards... Opinions?

Well, if the exclusivity and originality of the material outweigh the technical quality, then the upload should get either extra "points" for that to make up for the missing points in the technical quality department or don't rate the picture quality at all.
It's not the uploader's fault that the source material is bad. Except if he filmed it himself and made it into a crappy file;)
But we can't expect too much from webcam material and I guess everybody is aware of that. It might be lacking in the video department but it can be rare and very hot nonetheless.
Like most of the Maverickmen vids really have a shitty video quality . But it's fun stuff and I think it should be rewarded if somebody gets his dirty little fingers on some new vids.

:inlove:

@cumeaternc:

What I do not like to see is uploaders who expect generous treatment when they in 3 years have earned hundreds of SBPs, given only 30SBPs away after downloading 50 torrents since 6-5-2011 and trading them in 13 times for 5GB of seeded traffic for themselves. I try to be civil but this gimmie, gimmie, gimmie is getting old.

Brandon,
I know that this was directed at me. You're right. The shoe fits.
But I think I tried to explain this before. For getting my ratio up I needed to exchange the points because uploading and seeding alone didn't do the trick.
At least I can proudly say that I don't beg for points. I've done it maybe five times in almost 300 files I have uploaded.
If a member wants to give BSP I am grateful, if not it's fine too. I don't expect anything.
Now that I got my ratio up to a healthier level I will be more generous. Promise. I just had to balance my priorities while I was working on the low ratio problem.

Geographer,

I like your ideas! All of them :cheers: Great brainstorming.

You're right: the rating system doesn't work in it's current implementation. There are a few people on the tracker who rate 1 Star just because they don't like the type of porn. And they rate before the file is even uploaded. That's distorting and might others prevent from downloading a torrent they might actually like.

Adding to reputation by using Thank You is a good idea too. Just don't give members the right to give bad reputation. On the forum I got a negative reputation by a member who just has a different taste in porn. I thought that his action was not warranted. Just because you're into muscle guys shouldn't give you the right to give a bad rep to somebody who's into twinks.

All in all: great work geographer!

@xenu:

P.S. (to ballard1: who is that in the avatar?  woof!)

It's not me but he looks a lot like me. A friend sent me the pic and wrote: "Hey, since when do you post your naked pics on the net?"  
:afr:
So I thought I might as well use it as my avatar. No idea who the guy is. My twin… separated at birth? Mom swears she only had one boy!

Why can't I keep my mouth shut? 
Well, it's no surprise to moderators that I sympathize with Xenu after having been in the same boat not too long ago with a miserable ratio. It took me almost 4 years to get power user status! hahahahaha

My advice: stop downloading for a while and get your porn from someplace else. Downloading is what hits you a lot. Download only stuff you really NEED and find nowhere else. More quality, less quantity. And avoid DVD-Rs. You cannot afford them.

Uploading: Don't push out new uploads too quickly. I made that mistake. As soon as an upload was finished I prepared the next one. Hoping for bonus points which most of the time don't come.

I now let my new uploads seed for 24 hours or more until the number of leechers drops and the upload speed goes very low. That often gives me a ratio of 5.0 and better on that upload. A 1GB video has seeded after 24 hours more than 5GB which I have in the bank for sure. I would need about 350 bonus points to get the same amount of GB credits. And to get these is not easy

Uwe's strategy to get torrents into phase 4 is not very practical for me because of limited space on the uploading machine. Once seeding is over I have to move the file away to make room for other material. And keeping track of what I had uploaded months ago and getting the file back is just not possible. I still have a day job (which allows me the occasional masturbatory break though).  :blink:

After looking at the number of actually active members (right now 397 online) I think it would be a good idea to recruit more members. 397 worldwide is not a lot! Let's just assume it would be possible to raise that number to 2,000 at any given time. That would make things much more interesting (more leechers, maybe more points for uploaders).
But please don't ask me how we can get more active members. I have no idea. I am the only one I know personally who really loves porn! Well, maybe my friend Billy… but he would soon drop off again because I'd never upload anything and his bad ratio would get him kicked out quickly. I digress...

Uwe, no need to justify.
I noticed that you are quite generous and I think that's great!

Let's ask cumeaternc and a few of the other "super point rich" moderators to start spreading the love, e.g. bonus points.
With over 10.000 points a lot of people with good uploads but no rewards from others can be made very happy… 
Why hoarding the points if they are not needed for keeping a good ratio? After all the only thing we can do with them is cashing them in for GB.
You go guys! Set an example!

Ok, before you verbally slaughter and abuse me (hmm... i might like it :afr:): of course you can do with your points whatever you like!

Cheers!