Age Gaps
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I love older guys and am not at all interested in guys my own age. I am 20 and prefer guys that are 40-60. I do however, like girls and women 17-30ish. (17 is legal for my age in IL)
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Well U got that right, its pretty much the same here in australia
I think the generally accepted formula is
f(x)=[x/2]+7 truncate numbers to right of decimal point
f(x)=minimum age allowed to date
x=age of older person in relationshipeg1 x=37; f(x)=25 ∴12 year gap?
eg2 x=54; f(x)=34 ∴20 year gap?
eg3 x=18; f(x)=16 ∴ 2 year gap? and go directly to jail (in USA) :police: >:DLove and attraction throw any developed formulas out the window;
I was just having fun. -
Speaking of age gaps, just remember that in most countries, 15 will get you 20!
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Age difference depends on a number of things. Even in a case with a larger age gap, there isn't necessarily a problem. Although it is true that in a lot of cases, the younger population do tend to have a tendency to grasp to an infatuation, this is not always the case. I can think of a few cases off the top of my head where the age difference is almost 30 years and it works no problem. It all depends on what you both really want and how happy that you make each other. It really all boils down to the chemistry.
I very much agree with your thoughts here. I have found that the younger guys in their late teens and early 20's, can be attracted to older men anywhere from their 30's to the 50's, usually either because they have "father complex issues" and require a strong, masculine, mentoring/coaching personality in their lives [but it is not long term - it is a phase that can last a few months, a few years, at best as the person becomes more confident in being gay] vs. those who truly have a "polar" desire and attraction by nature (Polar = older men, grey/white hair, etc.) and are "hard wired" in their sexual desire and attraction to be with them. The majority of the relationships that do occur, I have found, are based upon the "father complex" element, and thus do not last. The "polar" relationship, are fewer, but are very real and last. Boiling down to Chemistry, as you note. - Speaking with authority. haha :cheers:
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my last bf was 46 when we started dating. i was 23. the sex, conversation, and security was great, but all i want now is someone who is in a similar stage in life as me. i've been single for 3.5 years now.. go figure.
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I do not mind age differences as long as there is chemistry and mutual interests. The oldest guy that I was in a relationship with was 31 years older than me. There's more to someone than their age permits, personality plays a major role in how you view someone as well. If you approach this question with an open mind you would be amazed what all you can accomplish as far as a relationship goes.
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I tend to agree with what bluehue said - at this point I am most interested in guys up to 10 years older or younger so effectively 40's and 50's are fine. Younger guys just haven't faced all the issues including ageing itself and I feel to really have the best chance at a deeper connection it has to be at least partially based on similar situation which means having been through lots of ups and downs in life. Not that younger guys can't be mature and experienced but time is time if you get my meaning. Of course, for a more casual deal like a hookup age is unimportant as long as legal and above. But the thread is mainly about relationships. There is however one challenge in an older person relating to a person in their age group in that as we get over 40 and 50 we can become set in our ways and I do question the ability to compromise in that situation. I recently dated a guy a few time who own his house and has a very busy career and I do wonder really if he could compromise enough for another. I don't have such attachments but I may not be a very typical older guy. A younger guy is maybe more adaptive and willing to change but also less stable long term. Compatibility on multiple levels is the issue in any case age or not and in my case it's slim pickings so the age thing may be less important even for ltr material!
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… acceptable? So we are looking for a formula or number to descriminate if one guy atracts us or not, or if one couple looks good together or not? Personally unless is 18- I don't care, and I don't care about other couples being socially ok or not, society in general has idealistic twisted sights, so why am I looking for aproval of others, unless it's blatant descrimination of anyone rights, and that refers to abuse too, why would anyone care, it's overgeneralizing and steryotiping.
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I very much agree with your thoughts here. I have found that the younger guys in their late teens and early 20's, can be attracted to older men anywhere from their 30's to the 50's, usually either because they have "father complex issues" and require a strong, masculine, mentoring/coaching personality in their lives [but it is not long term - it is a phase that can last a few months, a few years, at best as the person becomes more confident in being gay] vs. those who truly have a "polar" desire and attraction by nature (Polar = older men, grey/white hair, etc.) and are "hard wired" in their sexual desire and attraction to be with them. The majority of the relationships that do occur, I have found, are based upon the "father complex" element, and thus do not last. The "polar" relationship, are fewer, but are very real and last. Boiling down to Chemistry, as you note. - Speaking with authority. haha
Someone else mentioned that this entire topic was an over-generalization and I have to agree to an extent….but for the sake of debate (and I love a good debatable discussion), I will have to admit that the aforementioned quote is mostly true, and this is coming from a guy that began a relationship, at the age of 24, with a man (who is still my husband to this day) that is 15 years older than I....so it's unsettling for me to think that people might believe I am influenced by some deep seeded emotional fracture and not the more endearing possibility that two individuals can find all they are looking for in another person, regardless of their age. Now I won't pretend that this is always the case, nor that most younger adults are capable of processing the true nature of their decisions when it comes to relationships or anything that requires true commitment on their behalf....flights of fancy come to mind, with little regards to the future and its inevitable demise....that sounds harsh now that I've said it....lol.....generalizations may not be fair or acceptable when it comes down it to, but there's a reason that we can call them generalizations....it's majority....shrugs Of course, there's exceptions to every rule and assumption, and to those exceptions are where I like to look....if only to believe that love transcends all :twg:....laughs at my attempt at sogginess
I hate to think that in all my existential contemplation I have chosen to ignore or am unable to realize exactly what he said, most age separated relationships are caused by "father complex issues"....well that would definitely make this awkward on my part.....haha....but as it stands my husband and I have been together for almost 6 years, with no foreseeable end in sight, he's my best friend, my lover, and I don't feel compelled to rip his head off (unlike with others of my own age)....HA....the short hand of this long winded speech is, it's probably 50/50....lol....half of them are making up for some internal deficit and the other half are just older than their true years and trying to make the best of it.....
On the other hand I might just be eccentric and should probably stick to what I'm good at..... :bj2:
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I very much agree with your thoughts here. I have found that the younger guys in their late teens and early 20's, can be attracted to older men anywhere from their 30's to the 50's, usually either because they have "father complex issues" and require a strong, masculine, mentoring/coaching personality in their lives [but it is not long term - it is a phase that can last a few months, a few years, at best as the person becomes more confident in being gay] vs. those who truly have a "polar" desire and attraction by nature (Polar = older men, grey/white hair, etc.) and are "hard wired" in their sexual desire and attraction to be with them. The majority of the relationships that do occur, I have found, are based upon the "father complex" element, and thus do not last. The "polar" relationship, are fewer, but are very real and last. Boiling down to Chemistry, as you note. - Speaking with authority. haha
Someone else mentioned that this entire topic was an over-generalization and I have to agree to an extent….but for the sake of debate (and I love a good debatable discussion), I will have to admit that the aforementioned quote is mostly true, and this is coming from a guy that began a relationship, at the age of 24, with a man (who is still my husband to this day) that is 15 years older than I....so it's unsettling for me to think that people might believe I am influenced by some deep seeded emotional fracture and not the more endearing possibility that two individuals can find all they are looking for in another person, regardless of their age. Now I won't pretend that this is always the case, nor that most younger adults are capable of processing the true nature of their decisions when it comes to relationships or anything that requires true commitment on their behalf....flights of fancy come to mind, with little regards to the future and its inevitable demise....that sounds harsh now that I've said it....lol.....generalizations may not be fair or acceptable when it comes down it to, but there's a reason that we can call them generalizations....it's majority....shrugs Of course, there's exceptions to every rule and assumption, and to those exceptions are where I like to look....if only to believe that love transcends all :twg:....laughs at my attempt at sogginess
I hate to think that in all my existential contemplation I have chosen to ignore or am unable to realize exactly what he said, most age separated relationships are caused by "father complex issues"....well that would definitely make this awkward on my part.....haha....but as it stands my husband and I have been together for almost 6 years, with no foreseeable end in sight, he's my best friend, my lover, and I don't feel compelled to rip his head off (unlike with others of my own age)....HA....the short hand of this long winded speech is, it's probably 50/50....lol....half of them are making up for some internal deficit and the other half are just older than their true years and trying to make the best of it.....
On the other hand I might just be eccentric and should probably stick to what I'm good at..... :bj2:
Hey Apo! you have taught me a nu English word "sogginess" :cheers: . Not exactly sure of its meaning though :laugh:
Seemed something of self-ironical cause if love transcended all it would not have exceptions ^-^ -
Im from Sweden. My man and i have been toghether since i was 19, its 20 years ago. And he is 11 years older than me. He is a farmer and in good shape…..
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I'm glad you say that. People just like to act like they know what they're talking about. Things are different for different people.
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All it takes is the right chemistry and communication. Any age, over the age of consent, is just a number. :hug:
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im 24 my partner is 63, we get along fine, i look after him and he keeps me out of trouble at night, there are some issues like goals or traveling and having an older person that has done all that and may not feel secure on the plane or long walks at the airport, health insurance in all,
i havent been in a relationship with someone my age, i would get more things done but i dont find anyone at my age attractive, -
it seems that my BF will be younger than me
but what i really fear that he's likely `the top while i am the bot..
sometimes that kind of relationship isn't normal -
it seems that my BF will be younger than me
but what i really fear that he's likely `the top while i am the bot..
sometimes that kind of relationship isn't normalAscareus, redefine your normal… because normal is, well just a word which people use to stygmatize and divide... believe me there are loads of young tops and older bottoms as couple, it's far from something to raise a brow at. And it's your life live it as you desire.
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My husband is 23 years older than me and we are 10 years together.
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I love my 11 year older husband. And i love to take care of him and he love to take care of my needs….. :cheers: :love:
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Age isn't an issue for me. I tend to prefer older guys as guys my age are too fickle. But I guess there would be a limit. I would find it weird to date someone who was retired, for example. But I wouldn't have a problem if they were divorced and had kids. Guess I'm the weird one…
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My man is 14 years older than me. We started dating (he took my virginity) when i was 20 (1993). We are still together…..