How do you prepare to get humped?
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This is a subject I'm pretty curious about, as I've recently gotten pressure from a companion of mine to try bottoming for the first time, and it's not something I've ever had to worry about in the past, beyond what a normal non-receptive-anal-sex person in the world would have to think of. The thing that's always concerned me is that my … er ... "digestive" schedule doesn't seem to allow for the kind of spontaneity that I keep hearing about anecdotally. I've always had experiences where my bottom knows when and where something is going to happen, but I've never really probed too deeply into any (if at all) prep work went into the "before"s of that.
As far as I'm concerned, the idea of just going bottom's up for any guy and expecting to be CLEAN while not really being sure of what could happen ... that's the most worrisome part of the idea for me. If that's not graphic enough.
I don't mind the idea of bottoming for the right guy and I intend to get some practice, though. Someone please educate me if I'm wrong to worry about this, haha.
Don't worry about people bragging about being spontaneous and not having to clean - notice how they don't really go into too much detail or it's a case of them being the top!
Don't be afraid to ask otherwise how would we know - there's no gay sex education in school and it will probably be a very long time indeed until such a thing becomes a reality unfortunately so we can only learn by helping each other out. The fact is there is NO spontaneity when it comes to anal sex, none at all. Anyone who says there is lying or is just too dim to realise that their partner is the one doing all the prep
Fact is shit comes out of your asshole and whilst it isn't stored on the other side of your hole until it's ready to come out, you do not want anyone to be putting their tongue, fingers or dick up there unless you are 100% sure it's clean because the no.1 killer of the mood in sex is the presence or the whiff of shit, and if you're not 100% confident that you're clean you will not be able to enjoy yourself and let go fully having fun in the moment because that nag in your mind will be there.
Firstly, a lot of it is to do with diet. If you are passing soft but solid healthy stools that's half the battle won. FIBRE is key here. A bowl of Bran Flakes every morning for breakfast and in a week or two a lot of bowel movement issues will be cleared up. If you're a health freak maybe your body is perfect and when you douche sweet smelling rainbows fly out your ass. Great for you! For the rest of 99% of real humans, we had pizza or pasta or something else tasty for dinner last night so we're probably going to fart and shit sometime in the near future. Don't let people who say their ass is a marble palace make you feel less about yourself. I see many guys say they eat hardly anything at all the day before they are going to get fucked. I don't know about you but that doesn't sound fun to me I love cooking and eating, so cleaning is definately the next part.
Douching - either with a specific shower head nozel or a turkey baister type pippet, both you can buy online from adult stores work just fine. Use tepid water, warm but NOT hot. BODY TEMPERATURE. And don't use too much water at once, don't think firing up as much water as you can hold up there is the thing to do, it isn't because the further up it goes the more chance it can irritate stuff further up than a dick will ever go, and the stimulation from getting fucked later on can start things to move down. Just use enough water to clean out the lower part of your asshole, before the "U bend" (look at a diagram of the body for what I mean here). Do it several times until the water runs clear and you feel clean and nothing else wants to move, you know your own body.
I also like to douche a little while before getting fucked (say an hour) because it gives time for your body to relax and return to a normal state, if anything else does get stimulated to come down the chute you have time to have another round of light douching/cleaning. Obviously if you know you're going to have some fun that night or the next day, don't go out for a curry or eat stuff you know can make your ass explode, that's common sense but you don't have to starve yourself or be on a macrobiotic diet in order to enjoy getting fucked.
Sorry if anyone is squimish about talk of shitting, it's not very sexy is it. Well it's a whole lot less sexy to strike oil whilst getting fucked than it is to read about it on a forum. Anyone who wants to fuck or be fucked should be honest enough to say this is my ass, I also shit out of it, it needs to be clean and here's how that happens.
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After all, shit happens guys, we all have experienced it at least once!!
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I'm with most of the guys. I'm a bottom and just make sure I'm wiping "back there" often and cleaning it well when I shower…nothing special and I have no issues.
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Yikes! Just a wipe and I am fine back there? Do you just not eat or something…
The best tip I ever got was when your performing an enema (douching is for the vag) take in as much water as is comfortable & hold it in. During the time your holding it in there will be 3 instances of "I can't hold this in, it's got to come out now" but try to hold it past them & then expel. After that a cursory let's make sure everything is clear & I have been good to go for sessions that wear out my tops before I need to clean again. The science behind it is your breaking everything up and expelling it all at once. If you just put water in & let it out you could be there for hours without getting everything out.
Of course, everyone is different, listen to what your body tells you. I wish mine would tell me "Just a wipe will do" but fortunately my ass does other tricks that the boys seem to appreciate (one calls what it does "grabbing me from your inside").
The best piece of advice ever given to me & made me much more comfortable being bottom was:
If we hit dirt, just clean it off & start again, no biggie.
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I always make a quick trip to the toilet to have it checked before "it."
What I usually do is wet the "part" and get a lot of soap on it and stick my finger in it until it gets thoroughly cleaned. It is all dirty work when you do not get the appropriate paraphernalia for "it."
Do not forget to wash your hands thoroughly, too, and apply alcohol on your hand in cases of foul smell.
Goodluck.
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:crazy2: ARE YOU NIMRODS SERIOUS? Until page 2 of this forum i wanted to punch every idiot to voice their opinion. Here's why:
I'm a top/vers and would never let anyone near my hole without douching. Its common courtesy to do so, more like it should be common sense.
Solid 8 here and almost every time i "strike oil" as they say, its a result of some inexperienced or just ignorant bottom who didn't douche. In fact i've sent a few out the door for refusing to douche. Now I can get pretty kinky, no vanilla bean here like so many must be on this forum. I like to fuck a studs brains out, rim b4 and after penetration, maybe use a toy on the boy if he likes. i couldn't do any of what you see in "good" porn without the btm properly preparing.
Now the guys a few posts back, AMEN! the education on how is what some of these guys need. If you think your gonna come over and turn my dick into a shit stick then quite frankly SEE YA NEVER AGAIN!
HOWEVER, if i know you made a conscious effort, then no biggie, my clean shower shot is available for you, go check yourself and we can continue till i seed you proper. Then that grin of "thats what i came for" ear to ear is what i love to see.seriously tho, i've gotten a uti, even terribly sick to my stomach from dirty boys. Dont be a dumb dingy bitch. and for the record, in my countless nights fucking sometimes hours bareback, HAVE NEVER contracted an STD. Boo yah bitches!
and for the guy who walked ya through step by step on how to douche, thank whatever god there is for your post. its guys like you that makes me look back on life say wow, i've fucked my way through my twenties and could die tomorrow fulfilled not missing a thing.
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Here, Here for foxyboxerboy! You know it had to be some serious shit for him to make his first post!
And foxyboxerboy, instead of thanking whatever god there is (or isn't):
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I've been a top until recently when I've let guys have their way with me. As a top doing random hookups occasionally the condom would come out a bit dirty, but it peels off inside-out and can be disposed of easily. I've had it happen with my ex while bareback once, and it grossed me out - stopped action and I had to go wash my peen, always made sure he was prepared from then on.
Recently I've tried bottoming but it's been spontaneous - but luckily no drama… but it was constantly on my mind. I've eaten a plant-based, whole-food diet for years which results in awesome bowel movements so don't even have to wipe most of the time - just a test square. I've never preped before being bttmd but am definitely prepared to. I occasionally do a mini-colonic anyhow with a rubber ear syringe + purified water, repeat - all the fluoride, chlorine etc in tap water is not going to be great for the butt. I also sometimes use weak organic coffee or spirulina for different benefits.
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shit happens
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A teaspoon of whole psyllium husk (not the powder) mixed into some yogurt once a day is also a good way to increase your fiber intake.
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:crazy2: Boy oh Boy - what a convo huh? That said, it is an important one for sure! In my teens and twenties - I fucked many sexy college boy butts. I don't think that they had a flying fuck what enemas were or how to use them.. None even identified as gay and most had girlfriends. Times have changed and not only are gay men more open with being so - but knowledge on almost any subject is just a tap of an IPhone away. But outside of teenie tiny flecks of dirt - hardly noticeable at all - I can't remember any issues down there with the young guys that I fucked. Maybe it was because these teens and college boys take a dump every 3 hours - who knows LOL. I have seen a definite trend with increasing "fudginess" with guys as they aged into late twenties, thirties and onward. I have no clue why - but anecdotal evidence is all that I can provide. That said, ANY male who thinks that his poop shoot is pristine at all times is completely delusional - period. Hot, clean bottoms need to at the very least - take a dump, perform a quick warm WATER enema (buy the Fleet version at the local CVS, pour out the fluid in the bottle and refill with room temp water..), and wait a good hour or two before anal (yes, as a top I have experienced bottoms "leaking" colored water if they try to bottom RIGHT after). I can't speak from personal experience - but I can speak for what pretty much 95% of my bottom sex partners do - and the above seems to be the rule for most. And these days - I don't fuck a guy if he hasn't had an enema (well….unless they are ridiculously attractive...LOL). If you are one of the 2% or less who are into scat then have at it.. As a service for the rest of us - you bottoms should clean up that hot booty and sexy stinky pinky a few hours before your date
Everyone involved will have a much more pleasant experience! -
shower and douche. all the things you need for a good humping.
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Enema
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Well….
I've been getting laser hair removal treatments. Full Brazilian, so that's one thing.. (haha)
I take a shower, and do douche about 4-6 times repeatedly. Sometimes I get exhausted just from the preps... -
Most of my sexual life I've been a top, so it wasnt really up to me to solve the arcane mysteries of setting up an ass for humping. But in my last relationship, the problem did arise.
Reading through the posts, I can see a trend, which I can acknowledge as my own too:
There's a difference between prepping when in a relationship and when hooking up.
Most of those who werent very focused on enemas, diet, waiting times, fasting and food abstinence, were those in a relationship. While those appalled by lack of enemas every 2 hours, where mostly those into hooking up.When you're going to hook up or getting a sex date, of course you can plan everything. And good for you. But if you're in a relationship, it's kind of impossible to plan a fuck (and honestly, to me it's also sad). Things are more spontaneous, and spending a lot of time together (and often living together), offers countless chances to impromptu humps. Fortunately, I live in a country where each and every bathroom has a bidet, and it's common practice to have a thorough cleanup after you dish out your dishes, and it always has been all that was required to never have any problem striking an ass.
And, to each his own, but when I hooked up, I never got my dick fudge iced, also because I always used a condom. Cause, honestly, without a condom striking oil would be the LAST of my worries.
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I prefer to smear bacon fat on my pants leg before calling Duke to cum do his thing. If I need a thrill, I wear shorts and apply the bacon fat directly to my shin. He does oral foreplay to my leg before giving it the ole' "1-2 I'm humping you:.
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I prefer to smear bacon fat on my pants leg before calling Duke to cum do his thing. If I need a thrill, I wear shorts and apply the bacon fat directly to my shin. He does oral foreplay to my leg before giving it the ole' "1-2 I'm humping you:.
Haha, well … that's a very interesting contribution to the thread, sir.
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WOW
I dont know why u preparation turn me on XD
Just a shower usually when its a quicky
Take some times (but not that much…) if its a date and make love or "try everything" kind of fun time -
In actuality, I would be more than happy to do a thorough prep before a good rogering (I really like that word, Rogering).
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already replied ;D
