Why do people like pain and humiliation ?
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A little while ago I've commented a BDSM-movie ( Chained Heroes 2 - P.O.W In Pain ) as follows:
…. pain, humiliation and exhaustion ..... is revealed in this video, secretly recorded for his interrogators sadistic pleasure. (taken from the description)
How inhuman, dehumanizing ! What are your motives - why do some of you like this stuff ?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I can't imagine that all these folks are mentally disordered (exception: some of them as everywhere else).
Is there an understandable answer to the question why people take sadistic pleasure in humiliating others or accept humiliation ??? -
I really can't answer this question. But if I have learned one thing in my life - sexual preferences of people vary with everyone and are equally different as mankind is. And I have stopped worrying about that.
Another thing is to make theses different tastes public or act on them publicly (like in porn movies). Luckily most states in this world have (at least a public) a common opinion about some preferences (like childporn) which are not allowed.
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on video it seems worst than what it really is…
i have my personal bondage room at my place...i'm the dominant partner...and you know we have the safe word and all that...
its just another extension of pleasure..or sex...its about trust on the master...and freeing yourself...
its not really that bad dude...
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pain and pleasure are totally on different corner….
i really don't understand that as well.....
i have been watching such kind of movies and reading about it....
i can say i am curious about it....
and my curiosity started when i read book of Paulo Cohelo named 'Eleven Minutes'. where he linked pain and pleasure....
well at the moment, its beyond understanding to me...
well for a dominant partner, there is no pain/humiliation.. or there any? -
that is why i always say that the submisive is the one in control…cause they in one way or another tell the dominant partner..or master..or whatever others call it..
how far and what they want to done...
the pleasure the top gets..its giving that pleasure to the submisive...
this comparison will be over exaggerated..but as a top satisfies a bottom...you could say the bottom is getting the pain...
most of my experiences with submissive partners..is that they have a dominant role in real life...and its an honor for me to pleased them...
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with some people pain and humiliation gives pleasure, i know i get pleasure from being humiliated and degraded how about others
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well you are talking about one specific film and i couldnt work out if it was a film about recreational sex or some odd fly on the wall sadist film you were watching.
The latter i don't care for - i don't see brutality or murder as recreational , sexy, legal or anything, but recreational S&M i understand and it's not so difficult to comprehend.S&M is about experiencing the power dynamic that lies behind all human relations.
It's an enounter with that power and an exploration of it.
It's a kind of fetishising of all the different possibilities of control and submission.
It may be away of controling in a non destructive way very real feelings of self humiliation or sadism towards others.
It can be intensly erotic, pleasurable, recreational.Pain and the exploration of pain is aprt of that language. I am not in to physical pain in anyway, neither to give it or recieve it. But i understand mental pain and the power of langauge to manifest complex relations between individuals.
Alot of the exploration of power in what ever form is a kind of exploration of 'knowledge' - knowledge of the self, of others, of life. Pain fits in with that registrar , that language also. There is a whole spirtuality and recreationality of pain i just do not get, i dont particually like even having my nipples bitten ! But i understand it is a way into something for alot of people. It does something, it's raw, electric, sensational, pure, some kind of communion…..
Wheni was in my late 20s i started having incredibly strong erotic fantasys about being humiliated. I found it quite scary - it was new to me - i felt guilty but also a deep sense of fullfillment in the ideas. I tended to defuse those fantasys by writing them out so they werent so intoxicating or morally conflicting for me.
My humiliation fantasys centred upon 'enactment' of humiliation - handing over total control of myself to another - being helpless as a kind of erotic nirvana - a sex slave locked up in an old house - ordered around , made to behave like an animal on all 4s - that kind of thing...
It didnt involve physical pain but also i wanted it to be real somehow, not in the confines of a typical S&M club which always seemed to me a bit too theatrical and over themed.
I twice met 2 guys when cruising who were on that wave length and allowed me to explore the reality of that. What i remember was the reality was exhausting and a bit farsical but also wild and true to the spirit.
I met a son of a vicar who had been left in charge of his parents vicarage and he was totally outrgeous. He got me calling him pig and riding him like an animal & barebacking all over the vicarage having sex - he would have been a great sex-buddy - because the only thing we had in common was the ability to fullfill each other's sexual fantasy - but not much else....however i figured outside of the sex he most probably was a little too complex so i declined.I had a long erotically charged mentally orientated S&M relationship with a bisexual guy - which was incredible - but toally mind fucking - he was into making the power thing real - pushing the extent to which something no longer becomes a game , playing with that boundry and is actually happening - it was so exciting to me as a young man....
Finally both sex and violence are closely related to sensation, spirituality, knowledge & pleasure - it's a fine line - the subtle interplay between taboo and integrity - between horror and ecstacy - one thinks of these catagories as somehow seperate and polar opposites but in reality they are very very close and often one and the same thing.
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I'm not really sure…
I can understand domination I guess, like to the point of thinking its kinda kinky when someone totally takes control during sex and makes you their bitch, but on the other hand i don't enjoy actual physical pain, which for some reason seems to always be present in those movies. Plus i think all those weird things they wear and artificial shit is just a turn off. -
Do we have to understand everything? Why do we have and urgent quest for a plausible meaning? Why do we raise this question in connection with BDSM? Along the analogy of this question, why do we not ask: "Why do some of use like hairy guys, while some other people smooth guys?"
Some food for thought: what are our presumtions behind our questions in the quest for understanding? -
I do not understand it but i love being dominated and used like a bitch, I dont like extreme pain but i do get horny when i am spanked, tied up, blindfolded etc xx
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I reckon people who are into pain and humiliation do it for the adrenaline rush.
Adrenaline gives sex a different edge and the levels of it that people crave for are variable.
For example having sex outdoors or in a public rest room can call some adrenaline into the game.
Proper pain and humiliation would add even more adrenaline=even more of a rush. -
A little while ago I've commented a BDSM-movie ( Chained Heroes 2 - P.O.W In Pain ) as follows:
…. pain, humiliation and exhaustion ..... is revealed in this video, secretly recorded for his interrogators sadistic pleasure. (taken from the description)
How inhuman, dehumanizing ! What are your motives - why do some of you like this stuff ?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________I can't imagine that all these folks are mentally disordered (exception: some of them as everywhere else).
Is there an understandable answer to the question why people take sadistic pleasure in humiliating others or accept humiliation ???I can say this… why post this in the gay sections? BDSM, or Bondage Sadomasochism, is universal across the sexualities and is, in my experience, more prevalent amongst older women and their male partners or women and men in general... mainly women being sadistic and men being masochistic. I am a gay male and I take offense to this statement: " How inhuman, dehumanizing ! What are your motives - why do some of you like this stuff ?"
You cannot ask people in a gay board about bondage and not go in a straight room or a general sex topic, that is not fair.
I, personally, do not like bondage. I am gay and, gasp, it's not my thing.
Everyone is different, you should probably learn to accept that... and if you really wanted to know about bondage go to wikipedia and look it up... don't go posting in a gay board to make yourself seem like an asshole.
I apologize for being rude, if you have taken any of my response as such.
Have a great day! -
The question was asked here because this is the forum section it best fit into. Also, the fetish torrent section is pretty active on this GAY site.
I'm not offended by the question, even though, like you, I'm gay and not into BDSM.
I do question where you get the idea that it's most prevalent with older women and their male partners.
And NO, I don't think the original poster looks like an asshole for asking.
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I couldn't really explain why but some people enjoy these things. I myself like a dominant partner (not into pain) in bed, I think it is about kinkiness in my case. As I am not always into that. Nice romantic loving or turned tables are fun too ;). Maybe it is a way to keep things different, not fall into routine.
Kinky romantic
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i love pain and humiliation, please do it for me
