is it ok to fall for an escort i found online??
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@johnmartinez certainly it's way more ok than the escort falling for one of his clients.
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If I believed all the BL shows then nowadays love happens and that should be accepted by us all regardless of - most anything.
It does however appear that falling for escorts - particularly if one met through an online service - is generally frowned on by the world at large. Note the case of John Browne CEO of BP who was forced to resign not because of his sexuality but because he admitted to having met his Brazilian boyfriend as a rent boy via Grindr.
So the world seems as ready to judge negatively as it always has.
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@nix54 i'm not particularly interested in the moral debate but rather just the odds of an actual relationship flourishing from that escort x client dynamics, power relations and all things related. If a client falls for you that's not a big of a deal, kinda flattering at most, you can deal with it. But the opposite is way harder to deal with because that'll directly affect your ability to get your job done.
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A few thoughts here:
When you say "escort I found online," I presume that you have actually met this person in the flesh. Falling for pictures and text on a computer screen is a ticket to disaster.
Also, be sure that the escort's feelings for you are reciprocated and genuine. Escorts are in the business of making their clients happy, and will lavish compliments about one's body, personality, sex technique, choice of cologne, etc. This is theatre, not reality. It's pleasant in the moment, but it's not real.
Finally, one cannot expect exclusivity. If you "fall for" the guy and start dating him, know that he's still going to be having sex with other people. If that triggers jealousy on your part, this is a situation to be avoided.
On a personal note, a couple of years ago I started dating a guy I met at the gym. I soon found out that he moonlighted with an escort agency that provided companionship for women. Most of his appointments were as arm candy for dinner, theatre, etc., but some of the time it would include sex. He was indeed quite gay, and very much a bottom, but in his own words, "I have to pay the rent." I suspect that I would have been jealous had his clients been men...but instead I only asked that he wash up thoroughly after his appointments.
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@johnmartinez you have to tell this person your feelings and see if they are mutual. You also have to state your boundaries for the relationship you want incase they don't fall in line with his. This is the only way for a successful relationship. As long as what you both want work with each other then great!
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Some escorts choose that avocation because it's the only "living-wage" option they have, while the most-skilled ones make a large amount of money (and gifts) because they've mastered the the art of pleasing and/or manipulating their clients.
Many people have seen the film Pretty Woman (1990), but "I hired an escort and we fell for each other" is truly a needle in the haystack.
With the help of online communications, there are now many variations on escorts and their services, and many engage in practices akin to catfishing.
Even on our site, a member can't stop boasting about a younger man who isn't really gay, but strings him along with nudie photos and occasional words of encouragement -- as long as money and gifts keep coming.
A person has to exercise caution if falling for someone who sells actual sex -- or a pay-as-you-go online relationship -- promoting the idea that one day -- one fine, fine day -- it can be something much more.
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@flozen here in Brazil there are some escorts that actually drug you, tie you to the bed and steal your house before leaving. You know, just to make sure that you'll not fall in love.
