Get circumcised or not?
-
Hello,
I'm a 22 year old guy from Belgium. I've been seeing a guy for 9 months now, he's 24 and a Muslim.
We haven't had any sexual intercourse or foreplay (not because of the circumcision tho').
He says he finds foreskin and uncircumcised penises unclean and 'I won't get any' from him if I'm uncircumcised.
He doesn't ask me to but more so states his opinion. He says he doesn't ask for sex but we both know sex is an important part of a relationship. He says it doesn't mean I can't give anything to him.
Can any of you give me some advice?
Do you have any experience with a circumcision during adulthood?
How about the loss of sensitivity?Thank you!
-
So, some advice you asked for and some advice you didn't ask for.
I'm Jewish and was circumcized when I was 8 days old. I have a very sensitive penis. Talking with guys who were circumsized when they were adults - there is a higher possibility of problems with pain and infection as an adult but as an adult you are better able to take care of yourself and be aware if there are problems. If it's done by someone who is a trained specialist you shouldn't expect any loss of pleasure.
The advice you didn't ask for. It's a red flag when a person you are in a relationship with is telling you that you are "too unclean to touch" until you change an aspect of your body. Do not get circumcised/a tattoo/a piercing that you do not want to please someone else.
-
Thank you for both pieces of advice!
Since you were circumcised as a child, I imagine it’s hard for you to tell whether or not there is a loss of sensitivity if you never knew anything else, if that makes sense.
I’m aware and also thinking a lot about the fact that I may permanently change a rather important part of my body, something I never would’ve have done just to pleasure myself. I feel like, right now, I’m a bit stuck between making too big of a deal out of it and just doing it because it may not matter that much for me in the end while it does for him.
I didn’t get the feeling or the impression that he was pressuring or forcing me. As I said, it felt like a mere statement “if you are uncircumcised, we won’t have sex”. Of course I’m also being realistic and there’s always a possibility the relationship will not last forever, which is why I also told him that if I do it, I want to do it for myself and not for someone else. I don’t want to have the feeling to say “but I got circumcised for you” may it ever end.
I suppose I’m looking for advice and maybe some motivation as to why I should do it, but of course him and our sexual relationship plays a part in why I would do it as well. -
The advice you didn't ask for. It's a red flag when a person you are in a relationship with is telling you that you are "too unclean to touch" until you change an aspect of your body. Do not get circumcised/a tattoo/a piercing that you do not want to please someone else.
Could not agree with this more. If you do get circumcised do it for you, not for someone else. Was this something you considered previously? Is it something you are actually interested in or do you feel you have to have it for the sake of your relationship?
I had this done later in life and for me it was a bad decision and one I regret. I know of others that wished they had done it sooner and very happy they did it. Either way it's a big decision and one you have to make for yourself, not for someone else.
Do you have trouble with a tight foreskin which makes cleanliness an issue? Have you looked into what your options are, for example a half circumcision (https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/partial-circumcision)? May be worth talking to your doctor to find out what your options are.
-
As I said in my reply on the first comment, I never really considered it before because it never really occurred to me or bothered me. I don’t have a preference for my partner to be circumcised or not, and I’ve never been for or against it.
Can I ask you why you aren’t happy with it and why you felt it was a bad decision for you? -
I was left with scarring directly under the head which is rough and uncomfortable. I have lost a lot of sensation which has reduced my enjoyment in sex. I rarely top now as it is uncomfortable and no pleasure sensation. I had to adapt to a different wanking style, shorter strokes, to reduce it being painful.
Mine was done using the clamp method but there are other methods, https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/circumcision-scar.
-
The guys I know who had it done as adults had different experiences.
One guy had a medical problem that his foreskin wouldn't retract so it was painful for him to get an erection and he had recurrent infections. For him it was a complete plus: no pain when he got a hard-on (so he could have sex) and an end to the infections.
Different guys who got circumcised for religious reasons, mainly conversion to Judaism but also a German guy I knew who converted to Islam. Most had a couple weeks of discomfort similar to getting a piercing. Others had a loss of sensation that ended up equalling out. Their head was less sensitive but they felt that sex was more satisfying since they could last longer. But all of their circumcisions were done by doctors who specialized in circumcision. (Mohels)
I've also heard of cases where the doctors did not have the skill/experience/training that had various negative results: they remove part of the head, they cut into the shaft particularly one of the blood vessels, they leave too large a wound causing excess scarring or they don't provide the drugs to discourage erections during the healing process.
Here is an article from the American Family Physician site, it's neither pro- nor anti- circumcision and sounds well based on fact.
https://www.aafp.org/afp/1999/0315/p1514.html -
Hello,
I'm a 22 year old guy from Belgium. I've been seeing a guy for 9 months now, he's 24 and a Muslim.
We haven't had any sexual intercourse or foreplay (not because of the circumcision tho').
He says he finds foreskin and uncircumcised penises unclean and 'I won't get any' from him if I'm uncircumcised.
He doesn't ask me to but more so states his opinion. He says he doesn't ask for sex but we both know sex is an important part of a relationship. He says it doesn't mean I can't give anything to him.
Can any of you give me some advice?
Do you have any experience with a circumcision during adulthood?
How about the loss of sensitivity?Thank you!
Don't do it unless there is a good medical reason for it and even then, the less that is cut away, the better. For instance, if your foreskin is so tight that erections are painful, it's not necessary to get a complete circumcision.
There are definitely risks involved and if your penis functions fine now, it won't function any better after circumcision and may not function as well. At best, you would lose a LOT of very sensitive foreskin with lots of nerves, so you would have decreased sensation and pleasure. Some men even try to restore their circumcised foreskin by progressively stretching it.
Both cut and uncut penises will be "unclean" if they are not kept clean. Uncut penises have more skin to produce smegma and the folds of the foreskin keep the smegma from rubbing off on underclothing so the uncircumcised penises generally need to be washed more often to be kept as clean. I prefer uncircumcised penises but a dirty penis, cut or uncut, is a definite turn off for me. I don't like dirty asses, either, but I can go either way with dirty armpits, depending on the man's natural body odor. However, some men like dirty penises, dirty asses, etc. But it sounds like he thinks your uncut penis is "unclean" not because it is physically dirty but as a matter of principle, perhaps based in religion.
You didn't ask for relationship advice, but since you are both in your 20s and have been dating for 9 months, it seems a bit unusual that you have not had sex or even foreplay yet. At least in theory, he doesn't want to blow you but wouldn't mind being blown. (The circumcision issue may not be the entire reason.) He does not like and will not accept your penis the way it is. All three of those facts seem to indicate that your relationship is at best one of friendship and is not destined to be a happy romantic relationship.
-
Hello,
I'm a 22 year old guy from Belgium. I've been seeing a guy for 9 months now, he's 24 and a Muslim.
We haven't had any sexual intercourse or foreplay (not because of the circumcision tho').
He says he finds foreskin and uncircumcised penises unclean and 'I won't get any' from him if I'm uncircumcised.
He doesn't ask me to but more so states his opinion. He says he doesn't ask for sex but we both know sex is an important part of a relationship. He says it doesn't mean I can't give anything to him.
Can any of you give me some advice?
Do you have any experience with a circumcision during adulthood?
How about the loss of sensitivity?Thank you!
ideally - it's your choice.
personally - no. i regret mine and I got socially pressured into it by friends, family etc.
technically - he's a gay muslim. worrying about an unclean dick should be the least of his worries. -
hey there… dont you change nothing on your body... we love you the way god made you ... muc luv cuz ...
-
Going through a serious (and completely unnecessary except in serious cases of phimosis) medical procedure to please someone else is never a good idea. If he has warped and ill informed ideas about circumcision that's his problem - not yours. Him acting like this over such a non-issue gives you an idea about his personality, personally I would take it as a red flag warning.
-
I'd tell him to fuck off with the whole uncleanliness thing. Sounds like a huge red flag if he can't even handle an uncircumcised dick that's perfectly fine. What's next?
-
Don't do it. Evolution made your dick as it for a reason. Cutting parts of it off by humans is only due to some spooky believes in some dogmatic stories. If someone really thinks that makes you "unclean" well then he is anyway lost in his dogmatic world.
I would suggest looking for other more open and liberal guys to hang out with.
Enjoy your body as it is
-
I was interested in this thread and the advices given, I've been fortunate to have met circumcised guys mostly Jewish or Arab guys and not once was their any problem with me having uncut cock in fact it was appreciated by them.
My cock rolls back fully, (I do dislike foreskins that are tight and even look painful) but I'd walk with my feet if I wasn't happy.
At my age I'd not consider circumscision unless it was required for religious reasons.
Like the old saying (not always true) there are lots of fish in the sea XOXO have fun
-
I guess the main point is, only get it done if you want it for yourself, theres no going back and if youre not totally sure you may well regret the decision.
Rob
-
dont change for other people, only change because you want to.
In this instance, no. unless you have clear medical issues having a foreskin, keep it.
-
The advice you didn't ask for. It's a red flag when a person you are in a relationship with is telling you that you are "too unclean to touch" until you change an aspect of your body. Do not get circumcised/a tattoo/a piercing that you do not want to please someone else.
This 100%…
-
If you are okay with sexless relationship, but to what extent?
I think circumcision is a part of Muslim tradition towards improving cleanliness. It is strongly encourage but not enforced.
It will be your decision, is he worth it?
-
I'm uncut and have a friend who cut circumcised at 17 or 18. Personally, I do enjoy putting on those three ring cock rings that can push the skin back to appear as if I was cut, but would not get the surgery cause I just don't want to.
My friend that did it got a loose cut and likes it. I'd say use medical tape or a cock ring to at least feel what it is like. Jerking off is way different without the skin so you should see if you like that -- and not to mention the head will get tougher without your hood for protection. But you shouldn't make the decision just to please someone else.
-
Do not allow someone to pressure you into getting a circumcision.
Uncut penisis are not unclean. This is a myth.
I wouldn't dream of having the most sensitive area removed for anything except sound medical advice, but that's just me.
