The female figure on a household
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Hi,
I constantly think how i want to have children in the future with my partner, but it's still a difficult decision for me because i would not like to raise a children purely on egotistic desires. I want this kid to grow up and develop itself without major troubles caused by his or her family structure. The female figure seems still to me very important for raising a child, i don't think i would like to get my relatives involved, and maybe think to have a nanny that would take care of the home and be this figure.I would like to know from you guys, specially if you have children without having a prior wife or female partner, if you find difficult to offer this side of parenting to them or if they show signals that they lack the figure of the mother. I believe a child may feel urge to search for his mom even if its adopted by a heterossexual couple.
Opinions anyone?
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I think it reflects positively on you that you're considering all these things, worrying about your child's future before you even have them.
However, I think your concerns are misplaced. Plenty of single parents raise healthy, well-balanced children. Kids care more about whether you love them, not whether your family's structure is socially widespread or not.
Consider also this: we live in a society, there is an entire web of connections between people. Your kid is gonna interact with you and your partners' family, cousins, teachers, other kids, people on TV. It's not like kids grow up in a void or something, where they'll never see a woman in their entire lives.
Some more food for thought: Just because somebody is female it doesn't automatically make them a good mother.I'm gonna let you in a little "secret". Most women are not born with the knowledge on how to be mothers. They learn that on their own with mostly trial and error after they've given birth.
And what is a mother anyway? It's a role, just like any other. Someone who takes care of the family, who brings compassion and unconditional love to her children and always puts them above her own needs. But is this really gender specific? Apart from the giving birth part, no, not at all. -
I think it reflects positively on you that you're considering all these things, worrying about your child's future before you even have them.
However, I think your concerns are misplaced. Plenty of single parents raise healthy, well-balanced children. Kids care more about whether you love them, not whether your family's structure is socially widespread or not.
Consider also this: we live in a society, there is an entire web of connections between people. Your kid is gonna interact with you and your partners' family, cousins, teachers, other kids, people on TV. It's not like kids grow up in a void or something, where they'll never see a woman in their entire lives.
Some more food for thought: Just because somebody is female it doesn't automatically make them a good mother.I'm gonna let you in a little "secret". Most women are not born with the knowledge on how to be mothers. They learn that on their own with mostly trial and error after they've given birth.
And what is a mother anyway? It's a role, just like any other. Someone who takes care of the family, who brings compassion and unconditional love to her children and always puts them above her own needs. But is this really gender specific? Apart from the giving birth part, no, not at all.Children need in any case caring parents..
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A child needs at least one loving parent. Beyond that exposure to other genders, other races, other ethnicities, other cultures will help them to realize themselves as who they choose to be.
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All 4 of our boys were raised by just us dads. Only a couple of times in their lives did they want any involvement with their mothers.
Love, care, and patience are needed more than genders.
If you can't provide that? then don't have kids.