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    My youngest brother just fell out of the closet

    Coming Out
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    • Dremric
      Dremric last edited by

      What are the chances of gay siblings being in the same family?

      My brother is 8 years younger than I, and I had always known subconsciously that he is gay. My parents practically tried to push me back into the closet when I came out, and when he did recently it was like re-living my experience all over again.

      A part of me is happy for him, but another part of me just wishes he wasn't. I went through hell, I know he will too. It might bond us a little closer together now, but 8 years between each other is a big gap, and I he is quite a reserved guy who keeps mostly to himself.

      I have heard of gay siblings but, honestly, I never thought this would happen to me.

      Is it weird for me to be in shock over this?  😮 I might have resurfaced unresolved emotions that I thought I dealt with years ago.

      Another thought I keep thinking is, I hope we never date the same guy!!!  😮

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      • C
        cmunnn last edited by

        I think the best thing you could do, is talk about your experience coming out with him. That way he can relate to someone, and understand these feelings.

        Hope the best for you two.

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        • B
          brianboru72 last edited by

          After you get over your initial shock, I think this would be a great opportunity for you to get closer to him.
          Since you know what he's going through, you're the perfect person to help him through this stressful time. Reach out and help him avoid some of the pitfalls you went through, and maybe get to know him better in the process.

          Another bonus- you mentioned unresolved emotions- and this sounds like the best chance you'll get to unload that baggage and leave those things behind. This is the opportunity to work through your issues and grow, and also to be the big brother that you haven't had the chance to be.

          Tell someone you love them today, because life is short.
          But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

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          • T
            tempbo last edited by

            I have a gay sibling. He's also my brother & also 8 years older than I am. Coincidence!!!!!

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            • M
              myrea last edited by

              gay siblings are fairly common, most likely the father carries the specific cromossomal genes grouping and the enviromnental hormones in mother's womb is right… well you are grown up if your folks give him shit get a bit of nerve and defend him... lot's of issues are due to poor communication, parents need to know the impact of the poison they spill, most change their ways when they realize what they do does not work and worsens the issue

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              • seaguy11
                seaguy11 last edited by

                You should do what you can to help him have a better experience than you did by offering advice, support, and i would tell you parents what they could do to not make it as bad for him as it was for you.  If they are loving caring parents they will take that feedback and change how they react to your brother.

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                • N
                  Natakote last edited by

                  @tempbo:

                  I have a gay sibling. He's also my brother & also 8 years older than I am. Coincidence!!!!!

                  Who said it was a coincidence? Maybe OP is your brother :whistle:

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                  • Dremric
                    Dremric last edited by

                    @cmunnn:

                    I think the best thing you could do, is talk about your experience coming out with him. That way he can relate to someone, and understand these feelings.

                    Hope the best for you two.

                    Thank you Cmunn,

                    That is something for me to do, I will talk to him although considering what he has already been through, he usually reverts back into his shell. I will give it a go.

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                    • Dremric
                      Dremric last edited by

                      @brianboru72:

                      After you get over your initial shock, I think this would be a great opportunity for you to get closer to him.
                      Since you know what he's going through, you're the perfect person to help him through this stressful time. Reach out and help him avoid some of the pitfalls you went through, and maybe get to know him better in the process.

                      Another bonus- you mentioned unresolved emotions- and this sounds like the best chance you'll get to unload that baggage and leave those things behind. This is the opportunity to work through your issues and grow, and also to be the big brother that you haven't had the chance to be.

                      Thank you Brianboru72,

                      This is a great opportunity you are right. I do however feel ackward about our relationship, but that is again something I must work through on my own, I will share similar experiences with him, I just must get over my feelings of insecurities on my part. He has been so introverted in his life because of his identity that this might take time. I am the eldest of 4 siblings, all boys, and my third brother has HUGE protection issues that he over reacts and over protects  my youngest brother. Now that my youngest brother has come out, my third brother is already delegating him. I am not sure if he will want to hear me as well. I might have to wait a while.

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                      • Dremric
                        Dremric last edited by

                        @tempbo:

                        I have a gay sibling. He's also my brother & also 8 years older than I am. Coincidence!!!!!

                        Hi Tempo,

                        How is your relationship with you brother? Do you relate on many interests? How did your folks take the news?

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                        • Dremric
                          Dremric last edited by

                          @myrea:

                          gay siblings are fairly common, most likely the father carries the specific cromossomal genes grouping and the enviromnental hormones in mother's womb is right… well you are grown up if your folks give him shit get a bit of nerve and defend him... lot's of issues are due to poor communication, parents need to know the impact of the poison they spill, most change their ways when they realize what they do does not work and worsens the issue

                          Hi Myrea,

                          Thank you for your information and advise.  My folks are quite concervative and sometimes it's better just to calm the waters than to start up a hurricane.  Especially if it's already choppy waters. I will though work on my relationship with my younger brother.

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                          • Dremric
                            Dremric last edited by

                            @seaguy11:

                            You should do what you can to help him have a better experience than you did by offering advice, support, and i would tell you parents what they could do to not make it as bad for him as it was for you.  If they are loving caring parents they will take that feedback and change how they react to your brother.

                            Hi Seaguy11,

                            Thank you for your advise. I will work that into my ways with him and my folks.

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                            • M
                              myrea last edited by

                              @Dremric:

                              My folks are quite concervative and sometimes it's better just to calm the waters than to start up a hurricane.  Especially if it's already choppy waters.

                              😄 I'm going to be evil and say this specially if you do not live with them, 'cause it needs to be said' if they give you a hurricane hit them harder with armageddon full scale, it all depends on the particular issue, but if someone comes barking telling me they are bad I might stand on my ground and give them the 'hell-ride with every bonus cast' and some people only learn to respect you that way, because they get the scare that they can't fuck up with you without consequences overweighting whatever they think they might gain…

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