Anal sex
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was any of you just terrified of anal sex?
I still am, any advices on getting over it? -
I honestly cannot say that I have ever had any fear of anal sex. That's largely why it was never a problem for me. I forget where I read up on it, but there have actually been studies done around the subject and interestingly enough, they all noted that the state of mind of the bottom is directly related to the level of pain (if any) that they will experience. For individuals who went into the experience with the fear that it was going to be painful, the results all indicated that they experienced a certain level of pain. By the same token, they also all noted that the individuals who went into the situation with a relaxed frame of mind, their body also relaxed accordingly, and as such, they did not appear to have a painful experience.
So… With that being said, I would suggest trying to relax yourself, as this has been scientifically proven to be an effective method. Also, as someone who is well experienced with the world of all things anal, I would strongly suggest two different things for your first experience. They are:
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Due to the added and uneven pressure that fecal matter along your insides can create during anal sex, I would strongly recommend that you fast for 24 hours prior to your sexual experience (fluids are ok though). This will help to make sure that your upper GI tract can empty itself out, as not to add any additional pressure that may cause pain or discomfort during the process. While this is by no means necessary, it can substantially help in reducing or eliminating any discomfort you may experience as your insides shift during the process of the sexual encounter.
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Make use of a shower-shot[nb]Such as the one illustrated on Fort Troff at http://www.forttroff.com/product/32001.html[/nb] or an improvised method (like removing the shower head from the hose) to clean out your bowels. This process will slowly help you to relax the different muscle groups before you begin, and it will also ensure that any fecal matter in your general lower region will not add any uneven pressure to your insides in the process, which for some, can be rather uncomfortable. The key goal is to fill your inside with water at a slow and controlled rate to help slowly apply slight pressure to the general area, then expel the water and anything else that comes out with it. From there, it is recommended that you repeat the process a few more times or until you are left with nothing but water. This will also prevent the rather "shitty" smell, or the "mud valley" that often comes with the world of anal sex.
Lastly, when bottoming for the first time, I would be inclined to recommend that you "sit on it" so to speak. This ensures that you as the bottom are in full control and can let your insides begin to relax before you continue to insert. Remember… As the top, you cannot feel where or if the bottom is in pain or discomfort, but as the bottom in control for the first time, you can use your own senses to your advantage to help you guide it in at a pace that's comfortable for you. Also, as strange as this may sound, an uncut dick (especially with bareback) will often feel more comfortable for the simple reason of the added maneuverability in and out that the foreskin provides. Just a heads up. :cool2:
As a general rule, I have observed that it takes a good bottom to make a good top. If you have an experienced top who can also bottom like a champ (such as myself), you may be surprised at how easily that they can manage to get themselves in part way, then work your hole to relax it until it sucks in their whole shaft. Above all else, be sure to relax yourself... It will go a long way in the end.
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How old are you? When I was younger, anal sex terrified me! But as time passes and you get experienced it becomes wonderful! :cheers:
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He probably wants to know:
1. what the likelihood is of mishaps, involving both solids and gasses, as shame is a major factor in sex.
2. how he can trust the 'top' to keep his condom on, as the HIV risk is still ever present.
3. how he can minimize the risk of a trip to the hospital due to tearing.Also, if you need to fast before intercourse, it's probably not worth the effort, as food is a major element in comfort and stress levels.
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- Due to the added and uneven pressure that fecal matter along your insides can create during anal sex, I would strongly recommend that you fast for 24 hours prior to your sexual experience (fluids are ok though).
24 hour fasting really? Would be a very difficult thing for me to do
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Blimey, in my younger days I didn't know 24 minutes before I would have a sexual experience. I would have died of starvation
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OP:
You've gotten some awesome advice so far.
true, it is kinda unclear what your specific fear is….
my only "advice for getting over [anal]" is:
1. become comfortable playing with your anus with your fingers that way you are in full control, and you can see how deep, how wide etc you like. I advise you to wear gloves. not mandatory, but insertion is smoother, and clean-up is simpler.
2. get a toy, start small and scale up to the size cock you want to take (I recommend with vibration)
3. lots of lube, take it slow, your inner sphincter is not as controllable as your outer sphincter, so you may have your partner put pressure against it until it seemingly relaxes, and then should go smoothly.
Don't be scared! Be curious and have fun!
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I kind of have the same thing guys. I top mostly, but I always thought I'm the bottom and I really wanted to do that. Problem is it doesn't work for me. I tried with my ex few times everytime we had sex before I fucked him I tried to give him just a glimpse of my ass and enter halfway but it was always painful. My ass is so ultra tight, like really. We had full anal sex with me on bottom like 4 times. And there was just one time that I enjoyed it but it kind of hurts and feel uncomfortable probably because of lots of gasses as you just said. Not eating 24 hours ? Not an option even if I knew I was going to fuck. I eat every 3 hours. I thought that the problem was that his dick was really thick. Not good for the first experience, but I thought I'll loosen up at a several time, but nope. And I definitely prefer dick in my ass over finger or a toy. I thought that the solution for me would be to find a guy with maybe not small but a slim dick. Might work or better find another solution? (Well I still don't mind being a top I enjoy it even better but being bottom is also such a gay thing I want to embrace it : D oh, and I don't go around and ask guys HEY, DO YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK? GREAT!)
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I guess one huge advise is missing .( at least to me)
For myself , if the guy tries to insert it even slowly it will hurt as fuck.
BUT , if the guy start inserting (let's say 4cm) , THEN pull out completely while the tip of his dick still touches my hole (because it needs that a little pressure remain on it, otherwise it's useless), then and ONLY then he can reinsert it and pound me as hard as he wants, no pain, he can change position so pulling out and in, doesn't hurt anymore. What happens is that the sphincter change size position, is relaxed whatever it does, it just then doesn't hurt anymore doing that. It's a like my hole has a switch from "OUT" to "IN" ;D So I have to explain that to all my tops that's a bit annoying, but when I top I always do that now. I guess I would fucking cry if I was raped coz the guy obviously wouldn't do that.
Also : I realized with age I became somewhat not "allergic" per se ( as real allergic reaction means anaphylactique reaction), but it burns like hell with condoms.. ( also some lubricant ( can't use Durex lube! ) ) -
yeah it's so complicated I didn't understand a thing, I bet I know how your tops must feel xD
I'm not pro condom. I hate them they turn me off. I prefer go and get to know a guy and been in a relationship and fuck bareback. I don't do hook-ups so not much risk anyway.
But I also got a theory and hope it might work, that guys are more bottomish when they age.
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;D I usually dont ask my tops for their IQ but I rarely date guys with down syndrome… :cheesy2: so when I tell them to insert their dick's head then remove it but keep their dick pressed on my ass and then they can go ahead, they are usually so eager to fuck that they do very well ;D
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Bareback in relationships is one of the leading causes of HIV infection, because people don't expect the other to cheat. Guess what, they do.
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not when the other one is not really attractive xD
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Anal has always been a problem for me. I have had Crohn's disease since I was 16, so my relationship with my ass has always been complicated for various reasons. The Crohn's is mostly under control, but I'm super, super tight back there and it hurts as a motherfucked to try basically anything. I've had two dilation proceedures done to widen my hole but it's hasn't held up. A day or two later and I'm just as tight. After the last time I just haven't bothered to try it again, I just don't have the energy. I've tried with lube and fingers, lube and toys, alone, with a guy, it never works. All made worse because I'm a submissive bottom. I don't really despair, even if it kind of sucks, but there's lots of things to enjoy around being pounded. I'm quite kinky so there's lots of other stuff I can "make due" with.
