He wants a girlfriend. What to do?
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I just got into a relationship with a guy and the first 3 months were amazing. You can say this is my first relationship and the longest I've been with a guy. In the past I would just date for a while or hookup, so being with this guy feels great and we both really like each other and enjoy each others company.
My problem is he's constantly trying to have a relationship with other girls. He told me that he wouldn't mind if I dated a girl (Which I wouldn't, I have in the past but I'm more secure in my sexuality to not do that anymore) he would, however, get upset if I was to talk to another guy.
He is currently talking to this girl and telling me how great they would be together. I just tell him that 'I hope everything works out how you want it' and then change the subject. On the inside I am more sad and jealous but don't show it.
What should I do. We really like each other but I really can't handle him talking with other girls.
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The best thing you can do is just be honest with him. Tell him that you really enjoy the time that you guys spend together and that you would be upset if he was with girl. I'm assuming you want to be in a relationship with him? If that is what you want then let him know. You don't want to stay in a situation like that, because it'll really hurt if he does end up being with her.
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You are heading straight up into an abusive relationship. Be honest with him, tell him how you feel about that. It's not fair that only one side ends up getting what he wants.
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Agreed with everyone else.
If I were you I'd go ahead and let him know (If he doesn't know already???) that I'm really only interested in him and wouldn't be cool with him having a girlfriend, AND that me getting a girlfriend to "even things up" isn't an option either. You're going to have to be ready to walk away if he chooses the girl…but he needs to know you won't feel right settling for anything else if you're wanting to commit to a monogamous relationship. Make it clear once, but you really shouldn't have to have the conversation over and over because if you let it drag on, you'll always be in this situation as long as you're with him...which sounds hellish to me
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My question to you is this– Is he 100% clear on how much you like him, or are you holding back? Are you guys really on the same page? If he gets jealous with you talking to other guys, that's a good sign...but make sure he knows exactly what kind of relationship you want from him and let him make the decision. Don't let yourself be miserable! :hug:
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You haven't given enough information. Did he tell you how much they click together or did he literally tell you how much they clicked TOGETHER? Just because he's happy he's found a compatible friend to talk to doesn't mean he wants to leave you or fall in love with someone else. The need to have someone to talk and trust other than your partner is real, particular when it concerns your partner. Not saying he shouldn't be communicating his issues with you like you haven't yet but sometimes it's just easier to vent the small stuff to someone else. That said, it's okay to feel jealous and it's perfectly natural but you won't know what the hell he's thinking if you don't ask. An important question after 3 months is probably what you both want in this relationship. Are you guys exclusive to each other? Is this going to be long term? Hard questions to think about when you feel happy but if you don't want to get hurt a lot worse than this in the future, they need to be asked. So I'm assuming you're gay and he's bi so you're concerned? Also, from personal experience, girls are so much more relate able than other guys plus they don't have to pass a gay test either his interest in finding a girl-friend isn't that weird. If you're scared he's going to sleep with her, it's also natural for him to be scared you're going to fuck another guy cause it's obvious you're gay. But this isn't the main problem. Both of you don't trust each other with the sex they are attracted to (though it's unclear with ur bf). You can't just swear off people they can't talk to just for their sexuality, you both can talk to whoever you want and you need to trust each other that you aren't just going to betray each other just for a quick fuck. It would be another story if she was hitting on him but there's isn't anything inherently wrong with what your bf is doing right now. You just need to be open with each other (that includes you).
Also, 'I hope everything works out how you want it'. This is passive aggressive. He doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. This tells him nothing about the boundaries he should be wary of when talking to someone other than you. Stop. Talk honestly with him.
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they are different kind of bisexual as sexuality is not a binary thing but a graduation. But if he is the "common" bi, like I am, trust me, you can't compete to a girl.. you'll end up as his sidekick ( the friend with benefits) but that's all. If you dont feel ok with that you'd better leave right away. Also the fact he doesnt like you to talk to others guy is not a "good sign" like another dude said. that doesn't imply he "loves" you. It just means he feels he is the dominant ( cause he's bi) and therefore he wants you to be fully available just to him. that's a common selfish stuff. I know I feel the same with my bitches ( gay friends that I fuck). some gays are fine with that as they are fine being in a submissive relationship , but if that's not your thing and you dont think you can share him, really leave now. Most bi guys are sexually attracted to guys but they want a real 'normal' life in the end that's why you cant compete with a girl.. unless you are 20 and he's too because then he will think it's ok to have "fun" with some guys for few years. Worst bi guys are those who are trying to get benefits from both sides.. that's impossible they are in denial , they come to understand that when older. So basically there is a risk depending on his age that he might play with your feelings probably not intentionally. In a word if he doesnt stop seeing the girl leave him, you'll loose your time..
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Honestly GTFO (Get the fuck out), you are in a relationship with him and he is looking to also get a girlfriend? Was that sort of thing discussed when you started your relationship because 3 months in looking for partner number 2 is wrong. Save yourself the long term hurt and pain and end it now. If he is not smart enough to realize what he has is good… move on and find someone better.
I just got into a relationship with a guy and the first 3 months were amazing. You can say this is my first relationship and the longest I've been with a guy. In the past I would just date for a while or hookup, so being with this guy feels great and we both really like each other and enjoy each others company.
My problem is he's constantly trying to have a relationship with other girls. He told me that he wouldn't mind if I dated a girl (Which I wouldn't, I have in the past but I'm more secure in my sexuality to not do that anymore) he would, however, get upset if I was to talk to another guy.
He is currently talking to this girl and telling me how great they would be together. I just tell him that 'I hope everything works out how you want it' and then change the subject. On the inside I am more sad and jealous but don't show it.
What should I do. We really like each other but I really can't handle him talking with other girls.
