Excellent topic. I too would like to read thoughts on this.
I have never been a moderator and would not want to be one - it seems like a thankless job.
I withdrew from social media forums for a long time because I couldn't stomach the vitriol anymore. (Not that I was always a model of civil discourse, either.)
Not sure why I'm here - I never even noticed until a few days ago that this site had a forum section. Maybe I was hoping it would be more laid back than Reddit…
I once had a discussion with a moderator that I will never forget - he was uncommonly articulate, patient, and humane. He gave me insight into why speech sometimes does have to be policed to preserve any possibility of discussion moving forward. As a result, I tread more carefully, and feel less "entitled" to say whatever the F I want under the guise of "free speech".
So I would congratulate any moderator who goes the extra distance to communicate, rather than letting the axe drop in a manner that can seem biased or simply arbitrary.