I was at a catholic all male boarding school in the UK until I graduated age 18 in 1983. Forget the stories you hear of loads of adolescent experimentation, at least in my school, where there was zero activity. It was like being a kid in a candy shop, being able to look but not touch. I was pretty repressed by the time I left.
As other have mentioned it depends on where you were. The UK is a smallish country, but there were gay bars in most towns and all cities. I went to University in Leeds. At first I was not going to come out, but in my 2nd year I developed a testicular teratoma and once I had recovered after going through the "joys" of chemotherapy, I exploded out of the closet with a blast. I discovered that Leeds had one of the largest gay scenes in the north of England. Nowadays it is Manchester, but in the 80's the Manchester gay scene was tiny - a couple of bars and a club that was gay on certain nights. Leeds main rival was Blackpool and to a lesser extent Newcastle. People would visit on mass at the weekends.
In the 80's the gay scene developed in the parts of town or city that reputable or respectable businesses would not touch. There was definitely a sleaze element to it, though I never saw sex on site myself. The main nightclub was called Rockshots, with themes on 4 or 5 floors. SO pop in the cellar, twinks on 1st floor, leather on the 3rd and can't remember the 4th.
Music was the main thing. The end of disco was merging into HiNrgy, whilst prog rock was taking the mainstream. Donna Summer with I Feel Love was the start, Sylvester, Hazel Dean, Divine, the Weather Girls, Miquel Brown, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Bronski Beat, The Communards and Dead or Alive among others had us spinning round the dance floor like dervishes.
AIDs was starting to be discussed in 82/83. It was still an American disease, with the first UK death in 82, but it was restricted to London and didn't make it northwards for a few years. The Scene of clubs and bars was the main focus and as always it was youth focused. It was a great time to be young and pretty. Sex was plentiful and affairs short-lived. It was certainly not-safe. I think if I was born a few years earlier, I would have suffered from the AIDs epidemic as would probably have gone to San Francisco or New York.
My main recollection of sex in the 80's was that it wasn't very satisfying. It was closer to an addiction, chasing Mr Goodbar and the chase more exciting than the capture. Then the insecurity of "will he call?". 3 weeks was a typical affair, though I met my first partner and we were together for 8 years (not always faithfully).
Gay porn was illegal to own or distribute in the UK through most of the 80's. I got my first taste of video in Europe - probably a bar or nightclub in Bordeaux. The first video I saw was Bigger Than Life and I was instantly hooked on both porn and Jeff Stryker.
Being gay wasn't a problem in itself, but it wasn't helpful if you were in a mainstream job. I was a graduate trainee in operations for Unilever and a 2nd girl from my Uni course also got a position and outed me a week before I arrived. Turned out the Production Director was very homophobic and did his damnest to get me to quit. The way he treated me wouldn't be allowed today. Fortunately the other director's hated him and I was offered a position in marketing to keep me around to piss him off. I was part of the team that launched the Clearblue Pregnancy test worldwide, so I am probably responsible for more women knowing they are pregnant than any other man alive. I also did more useful products, such as Chlamydia kits. I'll never forget taking the artwork for the male swab collection kit around the various directors to sign off - you could see by their body language which ones had personal experience of the collection technique :afr:
For 2 years I exported to Europe and on the frequent trips was able to indulge in my porn video habit. More often than not, I would hit the bath-houses (I did mention sleeping around), until it came home to roost and caused serious damage to the relationship, ultimately ending it in 1994.
I was a bit of a tramp in 94-96, until I met my 2nd serious BF, which lasted 10 years. Having seen the trauma infidelity had caused I was able to commit and remain faithful for all those 14 years (it helps that I was older, the hormones were less active and frankly I had done just about everything I was prepared to do, so a little jaded perhaps). Unfortunately this fidelity was not reciprocated.
In 94-96 I was in Manchester as Canal Street relaunched itself as the gay mecca of the north and probably England. It was a blast. I had several short relationships and many one-nighters. One of them had been particularly insulting in their actions and offended my pride enormously. This was a couple of weeks before the Annual Manchester Pride long weekend. Pride is sort of Mardi Gras. Several blocks are closed off and marquees erected on open carparks which are filled by clubs from nearby cities. My apartment overlooked this so during Pride, you either joined in or went away for the weekend - you wouldn't be sleeping otherwise.
My apartment complex was well designed for the UK regional cities at the time. It was a converted warehouse and included a parking space in security controled garage and a gym, swimming pool, sauna and Jacuzzi for the residents and their guests. Whilst the official party started on Friday, the un-official one started on Thursday night, which I joined. A group of Irish lads had come over and one was the archetypal Oirish boy - short, dark hair, green eyes, killer smile and cute as hell. The next morning, my friends were polite enough to exclaim in disbelief - no way, you couldn't have scored him, you are not good enough!!!!!! If I recall, he was the first of 18 that weekend - I had a lot to work out of my system :cheesy2:
A year later, I was in Dublin for business and went into the only gay bar at the time - the George. I mentioned to the regulars that I was from Manchester and there had been a troupe from Dublin at Pride the previous year. They immediately regaled me with tales of this young chap who had scored really well - "He topped off with a Millionaire who took him back to his pent-house apartment with a swimming pool, sauna and Jacuzzi, where they had sex all night!" - the Irish gift of the gab if every you needed evidence of it :cheers:. I was a little crest fallen as it also turned out that he was the local bike :cry2:
The rest of the 90's was a little subdued in comparison. All work, the new relationship, a year working in Dublin, which was hell and then the other half getting a job at a top 10 law firm in London, which slowly pulled us apart.
Whilst there were a lot of prejudice and harassment in the 80's we had bigger problems such as unrest with the Unions and Thatcher, the dismantling of our manufacturing industry and the push for finance and services to replace it. The ongoing negotiations in Europe. Being gay wasn't that big an issue, unless you wanted to make it one. The English are a very tolerant, but priggish people. They really do not like to talk or face sex openly and if it is forced into the debate, whether its is straight or gay, they will react badly. That is still true today in the older generation, of which I am one now.
I am more concerned for the future now as I can see unrest in the regions, which have been betrayed for the last 30 years and no alternative strategy apart from bailouts from London in terms of benefits.
I don't have much contact with gay people today, mostly through inactivity and therefore my choice. On the positive side it appears that it is easier to come out at an earlier age and to build relationships. Being a slut can be great fun, but chasing Mr Goodbar too much is ultimately self-destructive. The advent of gay marriage is not something we would have expected and lets hope is does see many long and happy partnerships.
My main surprise is how similar so much is and that we do not seem to learn. The youth focus as an obsession. Chasing any fame at any cost. People are claiming fame because they are an Instagramer. Looking pretty has become excessive. Respect for people is replaced with cock size and how good your body is. One of the main things I learnt is that there is limited hours in the day and anything you do to excess means that the same time is not available for something else. In my youth the excessively pretty / hunky ones were pretty vacuous as they devoted all their time and energies to their looks and not to other parts of their character. I would suggest that if it isn't far worse now, the social media platforms give so much more visibility worldwide to those who want to promote this side of themselves.
As a specialist in the health field, the rejection of condoms in the young strikes me as suicidal. I know far too much about disease, biology and microbiology in particular and even if we have drugs that combat HIV, the side effects are significant and this is one hell of a virus that can mutate, as is Chlamydia and the others. Its just not worth the risk.
Porn has become mass produced and dull. The Corbin Fischer style has damaged it for me - sure they are very cute hunky athletic guys, but they approach doesn't work for me - am I cheesy enough to say I miss a story? I mainly collect vintage stuff and its salutory what people define as vintage now. Stuff I would say is modern, i.e. 90's Falcon is being called vintage - its part of getting older I guess.
I have a mixed reaction to Gaydar etc. It's caused me tremendous pain and led to the end of my 2nd relationship. On the other hand how else do people meet nowadays. Grindr just seems unpleasant at my age, though I am sure it would not have done when I was in my early 20's.
So no real conclusion - life move's on. Some of us move at a slower pace.