Posts made by Phanj20

@Mcjl:

We are great at fashion.  LOL.

Unfortunately, I am the exception. LOL

I'm out but I'm an introvert, so being gay may come up in conversation, such as life stories, or the occasional "oh, he's hot", but if this never came up, people wouldn't know I was gay. A group of people I had been hanging out with for months only recently recently realized that I was gay. I just gave them a confused look, and asked, "You didn't know?" since I'm not the most masculine presenting man out there. We had a laugh, and just moved on.

This has worked for me for years. I don't have to deal with awkwardness, or the "GBF" situation, and generally other people just stroll through without questioning anything.

Oh my gosh! Congratulations! I love that everything seemed so smooth after you felt ready to come out!  :cheers:

I never came out to my parents since they had told me that "gayness" is contagious, which is why they were always found in groups. I was outed by my mom stalking my Facebook by going onto my laptop (I just turned 18 at the time and my parents had bought me everything I'd owned, so this wasn't really an intrusive thing. My mom has found gay porn in my room, but I'm 100% sure she was in denial up until the point she found out I was dating my boyfriend.

She told my dad and then my dad came up screaming at me, suddenly mentioning he practiced two religions that shamed being gay (we had only ever practiced one of these religions up until this point). My mom then tried to convince me that "my boyfriend isn't the man for me" (but this conversation had an undertone that you don't know you're gay). I was adamant I was not going "to change" and left. Didn't speak to my parents, or any of my family for that matter, for 8 years and then, after they reached out to me a million times and I ignored them.

I finally reached out to my parents to reconcile after my husband had been trying to convince me to try and talk to them for years. They still had in their head that I was the one that left, and was choosing to be gay. I quickly reminded that that that was not what was happening. They then wondered if I needed money (I didn't), so after the dust settled and they figured out I was just reaching out to reconnect with them.

My half-siblings, who were up until I was out, pretty close with me, still are not accepting of my orientation. Luckily, I spent those 8 years pretty much building myself up to be able to speak up for myself. So, as this point, I'm up front. I'm gay, I'm married, I have in-laws who are extremely loving (I know I'm blessed, and many are not), so decide if you want to be close to me or not, and we'll move on.

For me, I've been lucky to not be discriminated against for being gay. My attitude isn't of "coming out," but being married, it only really comes out in general conversation. Whether or not you know I'm gay, I'm gay. Unless you're interested, you really shouldn't care either way. I usually get some surprised looks of a mixed bag of "I didn't know you were gay" or "I didn't know you were out," I give them a confused look and say, "Duh," we laugh, and move on.

My previous job was in group homes and my current job is at a organization which is huge in the LGBT+ community, so it was almost assumed I my orientation wasn't straight.

Mine are pierced and they def are more sensitive but weren't before

I'm an Asian American but I find that many people in Vietnam on dating apps are looking for older white men, specifically sugar daddies, so some of it could be a money thing. Tried the sugar daddy thing, didn't like it. Although, I definitely was getting more hits from older white men when I was younger.

And up until 4 years ago, I was attracted to everything but Asians. Come to find out I was looking in ALL the wrong places lol

FYI my husband of 8 years is black so this is definitely not always true

I found that as time goes by, it's a little bit of both, but not always. I mean, sure I'd love to be ripped or taller, but too lazy lol.  But that's not my only type, and even though I love big guys too (heck, I married a teddy bear  :love:) I don't think I wanna be big myself

Hi Stretch!