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By Alice Popovici

ANNAPOLIS, Maryland–Debate resumes on Thursday in the Maryland Senate on a bill that could make the state the eighth in the nation to legalize same-sex marriage, although opponents plan to introduce a number of amendments to the measure.

The bill, which has been approved by the state's lower House of Delegates, could be put to a vote by Friday when it is expected to pass the Senate, legislative leaders said.

"I hope to have it passed in its entirety by Friday," said Senate President Thomas Mike Miller Jr. Miller said he personally opposes the bill but would not stand in the way of its passage.

Gov. Martin O'Malley, a Democrat, has promised to sign the bill if passed. His office could not predict when a signing ceremony might take place.

While still controversial, same-sex marriage has been gaining acceptance nationally in recent weeks. Washington state signed it into law and the New Jersey legislature passed it through both houses, although it was vetoed by Gov. Chris Christie.

Also, an appeals court has overturned California's ban on gay marriage, enacted through a 2008 ballot initiative.

Same-sex couples can marry in the District of Columbia and in six states -- Massachusetts, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and New York. Washington state will join the list in June unless opponents can stop it through a ballot initiative.

Amendments being considered in Maryland include a change to the effective date of the proposed law, to October 1, 2012, from January 1, 2013, and a broadening of its religious liberty protections.

Under the current bill, a religious group or a nonprofit organization sponsored by a religious group is not required to provide services that violate its religious beliefs unless it receives federal funding.

For example, the protections would allow the Knights of Columbus to refuse to rent a meeting hall for a same-sex wedding and not require a church counseling service to counsel same-sex couples, supporters say.

State Senator Edward Reilly, a Republican who opposes the bill, said on Wednesday additional amendments would help define the religious protections.

"We are concerned that the bill will have an adverse effect on some businesses, churches and clergy," he said.

Democratic state Senator Jamie Raskin, a supporter of the bill, said: "Any effort to amend the bill at this point is an effort to kill the bill."

Should the measure pass and become law, opponents say they will push for a voter referendum to repeal it.

They would need nearly 56,000 signatures to get the measure on the ballot, according to the Maryland State Board of Elections. They would need to submit one-third of those signatures by May 31 and the remainder by June 30 to get the measure on the November 6 ballot.

Maryland's state Senate voted in favor of a similar bill last year but the measure died in the lower house.

(Editing By Ellen Wulfhorst)

Jury selection begins Tuesday in a New Brunswick, N.J., courtroom for the trial of Dahrun Ravi, the Rutgers University student who with a silent flip of his laptop webcam secretly watched his roommate in a moment of gay intimacy, and unwittingly set in motion a series of events that would make him a national symbol of cyber-bullying.

The trial, which will be broadcast live across the country and as far away as India, will culminate a criminal prosecution that many believe would never have happened if not for the fact that Tyler Clementi, Ravi's gay roommate, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010 – just three days after Ravi electronically captured him kissing a man in his dorm room.

While authorities were only beginning their investigation, the media and public readily connected the dots, and Clementi's death struck a growing anti-bullying nerve in America and became a blog-driven lightening rod for outrage in the gay community.

Although the court of the public opinion condemned Ravi in the immediate aftermath of Clementi's death, two former New Jersey prosecutors say it will be a much more challenging case in the court of law.

"Pressure from gay rights groups, and global media attention made this case one that had to be prosecuted," former New Jersey prosecutor Robert Honecker said. "Yet the charges themselves are very difficult to prove."

Ravi, now 19, faces up to 10 years in state prison if he is convicted on the multiple counts of invasion of privacy, witness tampering, hindering prosecution and bias intimidation.

He rejected a plea deal in December that would have allowed him to serve no jail time, but require him to perform 600 hours of community service and receive counseling. The state also assured Ravi, an Indian citizen, they would recommend to immigration officials that he not be deported.

"The fact that the prosecution offered this plea deal in the first place indicates that they are worried that they might have a tough time in court," said John Fahy, another former New Jersey prosecutor familiar with the case.

His lawyer said there was a client rejected the plea deal in December,,

"Simple answer, simple principal. He's innocent. He's not guilty," defense attorney Steven Altman said. "That's why he rejected the plea."

The Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office has declined to comment on any aspect of the case.

Only the bias charges -- alleging Ravi's acts were intended to intimidate Clementi because of his sexual preference -- carry a presumption of incarceration. And therein lies the heart of both the legal case and the cloud of extrajudicial scrutiny that surrounds it. The jury will be asked to go inside Ravi's mind and determine his motives.

In the final analysis, Fahy says, the trial boils down to a jury having to determine whether Ravi is "a malicious homophobe," as prosecutors contend, or merely "a dopey prankster," as his lawyer will likely portray him.

These critical bias counts may be the most difficult to prove, as court papers and expected witness testimony describe an increasingly complicated relationship between the two unlikely roommates.

In the late summer of 2010, Ravi received the name of his freshman roommate from Rutgers University. After his initial online search, Ravi told a friend on iChat, "He's the literal opposite of me."

Ravi is the oldest son of well-educated parents who immigrated to New Jersey from India when Ravi was a toddler. During high school, Ravi joined the ultimate frisbee team and frequently tinkered with the latest trends in technology, following in the footsteps of his father, who owns an information-technology company. Ravi is viewed by those who know him as incessantly social and boisterous.

Clementi, on the other hand, was a talented violinist, painfully quiet and extremely shy, according to court papers. He often wished he had more friends. While Ravi drove a BMW in high school, Clementi did not own a car. He grew up in a "very conservative, very religious family," according to his older brother James. Clementi's mother worked as a nurse and his father served as the director of public works in Hawthorne, N.J.

Clementi's other interests, which he mentioned in various online forums, include unicycling, computing, and photography.

Ravi and Clementi each formed simplistic impressions of the other online before they ever met in person.

Clementi had come out to his parents just three days before leaving for college in the fall of 2010. But he had long been active on gay online websites, including a pornographic site called Justforboys, where Ravi discovered a post from Clementi.

"Found out my roommate is gay," Ravi tweeted.

Clementi wrote his own friend on gChat, "I've started stalking my roommate..," and "I got an azn (Asian)."

He then forwarded a link to Ravi's Twitter account. Later, after meeting Ravi's Indian parents for the first time, Clementi messaged a friend "sooo Indian first gen americanish" and "defs owna dunkin" (Dunkin' Donuts).

Unlike Ravi, who spent much time outside of their room socializing, Clementi admits in his chats that he was a private person "wanting to be alone," and worried about being overheard playing his violin by his fellow freshman in the dorm: "It feels so awk to practice in the room ... like everyone in the whole building can hear me hehe."

He tells another friend, "I would die if I was forced to always have people around me."

Clementi had recently opened up about his sexuality to both his family and classmates. He tells his online contact Sam Cruz: "I'm out to a whole bunch a people."

In July 2010, he came out to his older brother James and had told his parents just before leaving for college. Although his father accepted the news, Clementi perceived his mother's reaction very differently: "It's a good thing dad is ok w/it or I would be in serious trouble / mom has basically completely rejected me."

Other documents found on Clementi's computer indicate that Clementi also may have suffered from depression during this same period. Files entitled "Gah.docx," "sorry.docx," and "Why is everything so painful.docx," are dated from July through early September. But the judge will not permit any of these documents in court, since Ravi is not charged with Clementi's death.

Ravi's own ambivalent, and at times accepting, reaction to Clementi's sexual orientation further complicates the prosecution's case.

"There are numerous indications that the defendant wasn't homophobic," Fahy said.

In various Internet chats, he told friends that "idc" (an abbreviation for "I don't care") and "Im not really angry or sad idc." When his friend Tam replied, "What if he wants you, won't that get awk," Ravi replied, "Why would it be awk."

In another message he wrote, "F**K MY LIFE / He's gay," but qualified himself moments later, "I'm just like LOL / Maybe I'm still a little buzzed."

Ravi also sent Clementi a substantial text message, apologizing for his webcam intrustion, on the night of his death: "I've known you were gay and I have no problem with it. In fact one of my closest friends is gay and he and I have a very open relationship. I just suspected you were shy about it which is why I never broached the topic. I don't want your freshman year to be ruined because of a petty misunderstanding, it's adding to my guilt. You have a right to move if you wish but I don't want you to feel pressured to without fully understanding the situation."

Tension had risen between the roommates after Clementi brought a 25-year-old man who lived off campus into their shared dorm room. The two had connected via a hook-up site Adam4adam.

On Sept. 19, Clementi sent a text message to Ravi asking if he could use the room for the evening. Ravi agreed, but expressed skepticism to Molly Wei, a freshman living in the same dorm whom he'd known since grade school, about why his roommate needed the room. In her statement to police, Wei says Ravi worried that the man, only identified as M.B., might steal his iPad and seemed "really shady."

Wei, who was initially charged along with Ravi, has since agreed to cooperate with the state, testify against Ravi and avoid jail. Wei also promised to join an intervention program that requires her to perform 300 hours of community service over the next three years and undergo counseling for cyberbullying.

That night, Ravi used Wei's computer to access a webcam from his laptop that he had left in his own room.

At 9:13 p.m., Ravi activated a live unrecorded video image of his room while Wei sat nearby. Both saw Clementi and M.B. touching and kissing for a few seconds. Wei says in her statement: "I couldn't see any faces, and they were just what seemed to be kissing, and then, after literally two seconds, we just turned it off. And we were kind of both kind of in shock."

Four minutes later, Ravi tweeted, "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."

Although Clementi may not have noticed the webcam that night, he did see Ravi's Twitter post the next day. Yet his chats with friend Hannah Yang indicate that he was largely dismissive of the incident:

Yang: I would feel seriously violated
Clementi: like wtf [what] did he think was gonna happen….
Oh yah I gotcha
When I first read the tweet
I defs felt violated
But then
When I rememberd what actually happened
Idk _Doesn't seem soooo bad lol

Yang: You guys really need to talk…
Clementi: hahaha
I guess
But its not like he left the cam on or recorded or anything
He just like took a five sec peep lol

He also sought feedback from the online community at Justusboys.

"I feel like the only thing the school might do is find me another roommate, probably with me moving out .. and I'd probably just end up with somebody worse than him … I mean aside from being an a**hole from time to time, he's a pretty decent roommate," Clementi wrote in his post.

Clementi's mixed reaction to the incident and Ravi presents a critical obstacle for the prosecution.

"The fact that Clementi knew about the webcam incident and didn't seem to really care in his messages could make it hard to establish that he was intimidated," Fahy said.

After deliberating for more than a day and receiving additional encouragement from Yang, Clementi reported Ravi to their resident advisor and filled out the online request for a room change, citing how his roommate had spied on him with a webcam. Instead of leaving the room that day after his advisor offered him another place to sleep, however, Clementi arranged for another rendezvous in the dorm with M.B.

On Sept. 21, he sent Ravi a text: "Could I have the room again like 9:30 till midnight?" and received the reply, "Yeah no problem." Ravi then tweeted twice about the rendezvous occurring in his room and texted a friend at Cornell, "people are having a viewing party."

Because Clementi was keeping tabs on Ravi's tweets, he intervened by unplugging the power strip for Ravi's computer and webcam, making any viewing impossible. Ravi would later claim in a statement that he had already dismantled the webcam.

The next morning, Clementi talked to his mother on the phone without mentioning anything unusual, and later attended his orchestra rehearsal, according to an article in People magazine.

That afternoon, Ravi and Clementi saw one another in their dorm room, but there is no indication that they exchanged words. Ravi does recall in his statement seeing Clementi "doing something by his desk," but police have not released the handwritten note found in the room.

Ravi left the room to meet with a friend, and returned to find that Clementi had gone. At 8:42 p.m., Clementi posted his last status update on Facebook, "Jumping off the gw bridge sorry."

While Clementi's suicide has been deemed legally irrelevant to Ravi's trial, it nevertheless served as the catalyst for the subsequent investigation and prosecution.

"It is only because of its association with the suicide, that this made it to court," Fahy said. "It shouldn't have happened."

From a pool of more than 200 potential jurors, the prosecution and defense have begun to select the 12 who will eventually decide this question.

Defense attorney Steve Altman has hired a jury selection expert to help trim the list and a detailed questionnaire was sent to all potential jury members Friday. Several questions address whether the jurors have dealt personally with roommate issues, hold any biases against gays or people of Indian descent, and whether the jurors themselves have "ever had a prank or practical joke played on you."

There are nearly 150 people listed as potential witnesses, including more than 100 for the prosecution. First and foremost is Molly Wei.

Wei had known Ravi since grade school and reconnected with him when she saw his name in the hallway of her freshman dorm. During high school, she played volleyball and sang in the choir before enrolling in the six-year pharmacy program at Rutgers. Her testimony will likely address Ravi's motivation for spying on Clementi on the night on Sept. 19.

The other highly anticipated witness is the man identified only as M.B, a 25-year-old man whom Clementi met on an online hook-up site. According to one of Clementi's online exchanges, M.B. was not openly gay and worked two jobs at the time. He lived off campus and was initially hesitant about the rendezvous in the freshman dormitory. But because of the expense and inconvenience of a hotel room rendezvous, they agreed to meet in Clementi's room.

Middlesex County Superior Court Judge Glenn Berman has allowed the proceedings to be televised, but he has ordered the cameras to be removed from the courtroom when M.B. takes the stand, in order to protect his identity. And though M.B.'s full name appears on a questionnaire presented to prospective jurors, he as ordered them not to disclose that name to anyone.

Ravi not only faces significant jail time, but also deportation if he is found guilty after what is expected to be a four-week trial. His younger brother Jay is the family's only U.S. citizen, which has added an international dimension to the case that the New Delhi Television network has already begun to cover extensively.

"This story has all the levels necessary to cause a media storm -- young college students from a big university, bias intimidation, … pressure from advocacy groups, and family members saying he was just an innocent foolish kid," Honecker said._

A Massachusetts university is planning a rally after a student journalist was attacked on campus for writing a pro-gay marriage editorial.

As the Patriot Ledger is reporting, Destinie Mogg-Barkalow was allegedly approached by a man and a woman who appeared to be fellow students in a parking lot at Bridgewater State University last week. After the pair asked Mogg-Barkalow, who is openly gay, if she wrote the pro-marriage equality article which appeared in The Comment, the university's student newspaper, the woman punched her in the face, leaving a bruise.

Mogg-Barkalow's Feb. 15 opinion piece, titled "Prop 8 generates more hate," appeared a week after a federal appeals court declared California's ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional. In her piece, the 20-year-old Mogg-Barkalow – who is reportedly a junior and an assistant editor for the paper’s opinion section -- called out Prop 8 supporters as intolerant and bigoted.

At present, no one has been arrested, but authorities say they are investigating the attack as a possible hate crime. Composite sketches of both suspects have been released.

The Boston Globe quotes Dana Mohler-Faria, the university’s president, as saying her school has “zero tolerance for any such actions that impede or curtail the right of the members of our campus community to express themselves freely." She went on to note, "We stand together, both in strongly condemning this action and in reaffirming our shared commitment to create a campus community that values and respects all."

Dave Copeland, the newspaper's faculty adviser, echoed those sentiments. "In 20 years as a journalist I've been sued and threatened, but no one has ever gone as far as physically attacking me like that," he said. "It sickens me that something like this would happen on a college campus, where students are supposed to be able to express their opinions, values and ideas freely."

A rally in support of Mogg-Barkalow is planned for Tuesday in the Moakley Center at the school.

FLORENCE, Ariz. – Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu built a reputation as a rising, conservative star by taking a hardline stance against illegal immigration, attacking the Obama administration and appearing alongside Sen. John McCain in a 2010 re-election ad in which McCain urged federal officials to just "complete the danged fence."

But, on Saturday, Babeu's conservative image took a beating as he was forced to confirm publicly that he is gay and was involved in a relationship with a Mexican immigrant who claims the sheriff threatened to have him deported if he revealed their relationship.

Babeu denies any wrongdoing, and has vowed to continue his battle for the GOP nomination in an extremely conservative rural congressional district. He recognizes he is fighting an uphill battle, especially in a state where family values, as defined by a large evangelical Christian and Mormon population, often battle fierce, anti-immigrant beliefs to define conservatism.

At a lengthy press conference, Babeu said he hopes voters will stick with him.

His competitors think that's unlikely. Arizona Sen. Ron Gould says Babeu is sure to lose major support among the family-values voters who oppose gay marriage.

Babeu previously avoided a public stance on gay rights, but came out in favor of them on Saturday.

"I can be a supporter and get out there and help articulate as we progress as a culture and a society, that there should be individual liberties and there should be individual freedoms," Babeu said. "For any other person to define somebody else's relationship and say it not OK, that is not who we are as Americans."

Saturday's revelation already led Babeu to call presidential candidate Mitt Romney's staff to say he would step down from his post as state campaign co-chair. Babeu campaigned with Romney and was featured in robocalls in Iowa attacking Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who was then seeking the GOP nomination.

"Sheriff Babeu has stepped down from his volunteer position with the campaign so he can focus on the allegations against him. We support his decision," Romney spokeswoman Andrea Saul said in a statement.

Some political observers think Babeu's career could be over.

"There is no question that his budding congressional campaign is over," longtime Arizona Republican political consultant Sean Noble wrote on his blog. "Because it is a Republican primary in a conservative district, it's likely that the thing that hurts him the most is that he was in a gay relationship."

Others aren't sure it's the end, but they said there's no doubt he will be hurt.

"It obviously has implications for a congressional race. There's just no question about it," said Bruce Merrill, an Arizona State University political science professor emeritus and a longtime pollster. "I don't see how any reasonable person cannot think that this is going to hurt him, particularly with the constituency that he has built, which is a very evangelical, right-wing, family oriented conservative constituency."

Babeu's acknowledgment that he is gay came after a story in the Phoenix New Times, an alternative weekly magazine that quoted a former lover as saying Babeu threatened his immigration status if he revealed their relationship.

Babeu denied claims he tried to threaten the man, a former campaign volunteer. He said the accusations were an attempt to hurt his political career. The legal status of the man, identified only as Jose by the New Times and Babeu, was unclear. His lawyer said he was unavailable for comment but might be available in a few days.

Jose provided the New Times with photos of him and Babeu embracing. It also posted a cell phone self-portrait of a smiling Babeu in his underwear and another of what appears to be the shirtless sheriff in a bathroom, posted on a gay dating web site. Babeu didn't deny their authenticity.

Babeu made national headlines soon after his 2008 defeat of an incumbent in his rural county south of Phoenix by jumping on the anti-illegal immigration bandwagon led by longtime Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and berating the federal government for allowing human and drug smuggling to go unchecked.

Then in 2010, he was tapped by McCain to help champion his border security plan during McCain's re-election effort.

McCain, asked Sunday on ABC's "This Week" about Babeu, said he thought of him as a friend.

"I do not know the details, except what has been published in the media," he said. "And I'm sure there will be a thorough and complete investigation, if there is any allegation of wrongdoing. All I can say is that he also deserves the benefit, as every citizen does, of innocence until proven guilty. But I appreciate the support that he gave me in my campaign and always will."

Arpaio, a longtime ally, distanced himself.

"All I can say is he's the sheriff of Pinal County, and it's up to him to face his issues, not me," Arpaio told The Arizona Republic. He said Babeu has been "begging" for an endorsement in the congressional primary.

"I don't even think I'm going to get involved," Arpaio said. "We'll see what happens with Babeu."

Just last weekend, Babeu gave a speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C., reiterating his criticism of Obama, the Justice Department's failed "Operation Fast and Furious" gunrunning investigation and seeking support for his congressional campaign.

Babeu has been something of an enigma since he appeared on the scene. He was elected to the city council of his hometown of North Adams, Mass., at age 18, and came to Arizona shortly after losing an election for North Adams mayor in 2001.

He became a Chandler police officer and in November 2008 defeated a Democratic incumbent to become sheriff.

Along the way, he served in the Army National Guard as both an enlisted man and an officer, retiring from the Arizona Guard as a major after serving stints in Iraq and along the U.S.-Mexico border.

:cheers:

TRENTON, N.J. — Gov. Chris Christie has followed through on his promise to reject a bill allowing same-sex marriage in New Jersey by quickly vetoing the measure Friday and renewing his call for a ballot question to decide the issue.

The veto came a day after the state Assembly passed the bill. The state Senate had passed it on Monday. Christie, a Republican who opposes same-sex marriage, had vowed "very swift action" once the measure reached his desk.

In returning the bill to the Legislature, Christie reaffirmed his view that voters should decide whether to change the definition of marriage in New Jersey. His veto also proposed creating an ombudsman to oversee compliance with the state's civil union law, which same-sex couples have said is flawed and promotes discrimination.

"I am adhering to what I've said since this bill was first introduced – an issue of this magnitude and importance, which requires a constitutional amendment, should be left to the people of New Jersey to decide," Christie said in a statement. "I continue to encourage the Legislature to trust the people of New Jersey and seek their input by allowing our citizens to vote on a question that represents a profoundly significant societal change. This is the only path to amend our State Constitution and the best way to resolve the issue of same-sex marriage in our state.

"I have been just as adamant that same-sex couples in a civil union deserve the very same rights and benefits enjoyed by married couples – as well as the strict enforcement of those rights and benefits," the statement continued. "Discrimination should not be tolerated and any complaint alleging a violation of a citizen's right should be investigated and, if appropriate, remedied. To that end, I include in my conditional veto the creation of a strong Ombudsman for Civil Unions to carry on New Jersey's strong tradition of tolerance and fairness."

Democrats who had pushed the bill forward said they were disappointed, but not surprised, by Christie's action.

"It's unfortunate that the governor would let his own personal ideology infringe on the rights of thousands of New Jerseyans," said Reed Gusciora, one of two openly gay New Jersey lawmakers and a sponsor of the bill. "For all those who oppose marriage equality, their lives would have been completely unchanged by this bill, but for same-sex couples, their lives would have been radically transformed. Unfortunately, the governor couldn't see past his own personal ambitions to honor this truth."

Senate Democratic leaders were more blunt in their criticism of the governor.

"He had a chance to do the right thing, and failed miserably," Senate President Steve Sweeney said.

"Don't be fooled by the governor's call for a public referendum or his idea of an ombudsman for civil unions – it is nothing more than a political smoke screen designed to cover the tracks of those retreating from their leadership and lawmaking responsibilities," Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg said. "Civil unions have already proven to be a failure and no ombudsman can change that."

Lambda Legal, a civil rights organization focusing on gay rights issues that last year filed a lawsuit for marriage equality in New Jersey, called Christie's veto "an unfortunate detour" in the quest for gay marriage.

"We are disappointed that Governor Christie did not do what is right for New Jersey families, but we are not discouraged," said Hayley Gorenberg, the group's deputy legal director. "We'll continue to make our case for equality with our plaintiffs in court."

Proponents of the bill said gay marriage is a civil right being denied to gay couples, while opponents said the definition of marriage as a heterosexual institution should not be expanded. The legislation contains a religious opt-out clause, meaning no church clergy would be required to perform gay marriages and places of worship would not have to allow same-sex weddings at their facilities.

Steven Goldstein, chairman of the state's largest gay rights group, Garden State Equality, said Christie's national political ambitions guided his action.

"He won't veto the bill because he's anti-gay," Goldstein said in a statement issued before the veto was issued Friday. "He'll veto the bill because the 2016 South Carolina presidential primary electorate is anti-gay."

Goldstein, who said he has a cordial relationship with the governor, promised to continue fighting him vigorously on the issue. "And we will win, so help me God," he said.

Another gay marriage supporter, Washington state Democratic Gov. Chris Gregoire, also reached out to Christie, a practicing Catholic. Gregoire sent the governor a letter last month offering to talk about gay marriage because, in her words, "while I am a Governor, I am also a Catholic."

The Roman Catholic Church opposes same-sex marriage.

Gregoire signed a gay marriage measure into law in Washington on Monday. Her spokeswoman, Karina Shagren, said Christie hasn't responded to the letter.

Thirty states, including South Carolina, have adopted constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriages, most by defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Six states and Washington, D.C., allow gay marriage. Washington state's new gay marriage law is set to go into effect in June.

Lawmakers in New Jersey have until the end of the legislative session in January 2014 to override the veto.

They would need two-thirds of the lawmakers in the Assembly and Senate to agree. Both votes to pass it fell short of that mark. Christie has virtually guaranteed that no override would succeed because Republicans wouldn't cross him.

The Democratic-controlled Legislature has failed in every previous attempt to override Christie, most notably on a cut to women's health care and an effort to reinstate a tax surcharge on millionaires.

Christie – and most Republican lawmakers – want to put the issue to a public vote. One GOP lawmaker, Sen. Kip Bateman of Somerset, has proposed a ballot question asking voters to allow same-sex nuptials. However, the most powerful Democrat in the Legislature, Senate President Steve Sweeney, has said that won't happen.

Democrats are hoping that support for gay marriage – 52 percent for gay marriage, 42 against it, in New Jersey, according to one recent voter poll – will continue growing.

If same-sex couples can't win gay marriage through legislation, they have engaged in a parallel fight in the courts. Seven gay couples and several of their children have sued, claiming that the state's civil union law doesn't work as intended.

Civil unions were designed to provide the benefits of marriage to gay couples without the title. They were adopted after the Supreme Court instructed the Legislature to provide marriage equality to same-sex couples.

The state's own review commission has since found problems with the law, and same-sex couples have backed that up with testimony before the Legislature.

John Grant and Daniel Weiss, an Asbury Park couple who are in a civil union, are among those who testified in support of gay marriage.

When Grant was in a life-threatening automobile accident and rushed to a New York hospital in 2010 – before that state legalized gay marriage – Weiss said he couldn't authorize badly needed surgery or even go through his partner's wallet to find his health insurance card. He said their civil union was essentially worthless; Grant's neurosurgeon even asked, "What is a civil union?"

A gay marriage bill was defeated in the Senate two years ago, just before Gov. Jon Corzine, a Democrat who supported the measure, left office. Advocates' hopes dimmed with the arrival of Christie, who spoke against gay marriage when asked about it during his campaign.

ANNAPOLIS, Maryland (Reuters) - Maryland's House of Delegates approved by a razor-thin margin a measure on Friday that would allow same-sex couples to marry, putting it on the road to joining six other states where gay and lesbian nuptials are legal.

The vote in Maryland, which prompted cheers from a packed chamber gallery in Annapolis, came shortly after Republican New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie vetoed a similar bill. Christie accompanied his veto with a call for lawmakers in Trenton to appoint an advocate for same-sex couples under the state's existing civil union law.

Despite Christie's veto, the Maryland action capped an historic week for gay rights advocates with bills to legalize same sex marriage passing legislatures in two states, and the governor of Washington signing into law a gay marriage bill.

While still highly contentious, gay marriage has gained suprising momentum in the states ahead of November's presidential elections, with supporters framing it as a civil rights issue and opponents saying marriage should be reserved for unions between a man and a woman.

In Maryland, state delegates voted 72 to 67 in favor of the "Civil Marriage Protection Act" after two hours of often-impassioned debate earlier in the day. The legislation goes next week to the state Senate, which last year approved a similar measure and is widely expected to do so again.

That would set the stage for the measure to be signed into law by Democratic Gov. Martin O'Malley, a gay marriage supporter who lobbied fervently for the bill this week. One of his chief tasks was to sway black lawmakers, many of whom were hesitant to back an issue opposed by many of the state's black clergy.

At the Capitol on Friday, Baltimore residents Alli Harper, 33, and her partner Jenn Monti, 31, cheered the vote. They have been together for 12 years and held a religious ceremony exchanging vows in 2010.

"We knew the vote was close and we were nervous but hopeful," said Harper. "We wanted to be here when this historic vote took place." Monti said they are going to get a license "as soon as we can."

Supporters of the bill in the House of Delegates, the lower chamber of the Maryland General Assembly, turned back a handful of amendments offered by opponents to delay or derail it on Friday. They also managed to suspend a rule that usually bars final votes from taking place the same day as votes on proposed amendments.

A year ago, the same-sex marriage bill failed to win approval in Maryland's House of Delegates, but Friday's vote now sets the state on the path to join New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Iowa, where gay weddings are legal.

In New Jersey, advocates appeared to face an uphill battle.

Gov. Christie, a supporter of Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney and often mentioned as a potential vice-presidential candidate, has called for voters to decide the issue. No U.S. state has ever approved same sex marriage in a referendum.

Christie made no secret of his plans to veto the measure and followed through the day after it won full legislative approval.

He asked lawmakers to quit pursuing gay marriage legislation and instead create an ombudsman for civil unions of same-sex couples who would "carry on New Jersey's strong tradition of tolerance and fairness."

"The ombudsman will be charged with increasing awareness of the law regarding civil unions, will provide a clear point of contact for those who have questions or concerns and will be required to report any evidence of the law being violated. In this way, we can ensure equal treatment under the law," Christie said in a statement.

Democrats do not appear to have enough votes to override a New Jersey veto with a two-thirds majority, though they have until the end of 2013 to try.

"When we look back in the annals of history, unfortunately, the governor will see that he was on the wrong side of justice," Assembly Speaker Sheila Oliver, a Democrat, said in a statement. "All the couples disappointed by his action today should take solace in the fact that we are not giving up this fight."

On Monday in Washington state, Gov. Christine Gregoire signed into law legislation legalizing same-sex marriage, but it will not take effect until at least June. Opponents are working to gather signatures for a ballot initiative in November that would block the legislation.

In California, a federal appeals court earlier this month overturned that state's gay marriage ban, enacted through a 2008 ballot initiative. That sets up a possible showdown in the U.S. Supreme Court over the matter.

U.S. federal law defines marriage as between one man and one woman but the administration of President Barack Obama has chosen not to defend the law in court.

Justice Department Will No Longer Defend Law Blocking Military Benefits For Same-Sex Couples

The Obama Administration will no longer defend legislation in court banning same-sex couples from receiving military and veterans benefits.

In a letter Friday to House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), Attorney General Eric Holder wrote:

The legislative record of these provisions contains no rationale for providing veterans' benefits to opposite-sex couples of veterans but not to legally married same-sex spouses of veterans. Neither the Department of Defense nor the Department of Veterans Affairs identified any justifications for that distinction that would warrant treating these provisions differently from Section 3 of DOMA.

Section 3 of DOMA and several provisions of Title 38 of the U.S. Code that govern veterans benefits are unconstitutional when applied to same-sex marrie couples, according to Holder.

Title 38 defines "spouse" in the same terms as Section 3 of DOMA: "a person of the opposite sex who is a wife or husband." Together, they deprive same-sex spouses – both of civilians and military veterans -- of federal benefits enjoyed by married heterosexual couples.

The letter comes in response to McLaughlin v. Panetta, a lawsuit filed in Massachusetts by the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. The lead plaintiff, Shannon McLaughlin, is in the Massachusetts National Guard and serves as a Judge Advocate General. She is married to her partner of more than three years, Casey McLaughlin, and has one year-old twins.

"We are pleased that the Attorney General has decided not to defend the constitutionality of DOMA in the military context, just as he has declined to defend it in other contexts," SLDN Executive Director Aubrey Sarvis said in a statement. "We are also delighted that, for the first time, he has said that separate definitions that apply to military veterans are also unconstitutional. This is an important step for the McLaughlin plaintiffs."

The benefits in question, according to Holder, are "medical and dental benefits, basic housing allowances, travel and transportation allowances, family separation benefits, military identification cards, visitation rights in military hospitals, survivor benefits and the right to be buried together in military cemeteries."

Last February, Holder determined that Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act was unconstitutional when subjected to the same heightened judicial scrutiny currently applied to laws discriminating on the basis of race and gender. Accordingly, he instructed Justice Department lawyers to abandon their defense of Section 3 in federal courts, including cases pending in the 1st Circuit not involving servicemembers.

Laws subject to heightened judicial scrutiny, such as those that discriminate on the basis of gender, are much more likely to be struck down. Ultimately, the Supreme Court will decide whether this standard applies to laws that single out gays and lesbians for differential treatment.

Should these cases reach the Court, Attorney General Holder's decision to abandon DOMA and its veterans' benefits counterpart may help convince an otherwise skittish judiciary to put LGBT rights on similar footing to women's rights in the eyes of the law.

hXXp://www.huffingtonpost.com/Amelia/when-your-7-year-old-son-announces-im-gay_b_1277910.html

Considering that my son has a longstanding crush on Glee's Blaine and regularly refers to him as "my boyfriend," I thought there was a fair chance that he would someday say, "I'm gay." But my kid is only 7 years old. I figured I had a few years before we crossed that threshold (if we ever did), probably when he was 14 or 15. I never thought it would happen this soon.

Six months ago "gay" wasn't even a word in my son's vocabulary. He has always known that some of our male friends are married to men and some of our female friends to women, and it is such a normal part of his life that he never needed a special word to describe them. When he did notice the word and asked what it meant, I told him that when boys want to marry boys and girls want to marry girls, we call that "gay." He didn't seem very interested and quickly went off to do something else more exciting than a vocabulary lesson with his mom.

Fast-forward a few months. I was on the phone with a relative who had just discovered that I was blogging on The Huffington Post and openly discussing my son's crush on Blaine. I was in another room alone (I thought), explaining, "We're not saying he's straight, and we're not saying he's gay. We're saying we love who he is," when my son's voice piped up behind me.

"Yes, I am," he said.

"Am what, baby?" I asked.

"Gay. I'm gay."

My world paused for a moment, and I saw the "geez, Mom, didn't you know that already?" look on my son's face.

I got off the phone and leaned down to eye level with him and rubbed my nose against his. "I love you so much."

"I know," he said, and ran off to play with his brothers.

Since that day, any time the word "gay" has come into conversation, he has happily announced to those around him, "I'm gay!" He says this very naturally and happily, the same way he announces other things that he likes about himself. Mention that a person is tall and he'll quickly add, "I'm tall!" If he hears the word "Legos," barely a second passes before he says, "Legos. I love Legos." Saying "I'm gay" is his way of telling people: this is something I like about myself.

It's amazing, but it's also shocking. How many people have a 7-year-old come out to them? A lot of people don't know how to react, and I don't blame them. Before my son, I'd never met a child who came out this young – and we don't know anyone else who has. The mere idea of children having a sexual orientation makes people uncomfortable. It's something we don't think about (or just don't like to).

But here's the thing: straight children have nothing to announce. Straight is the assumption. No one bats an eye at a little girl with a Justin Bieber poster in her bedroom, or when little girls love playing wedding with little boys every chance they get. If our sexual orientation is simply part of who we are, why wouldn't it be there in our elementary years?

I've heard from countless adults who say they knew that they were gay as young as kindergarten but lacked the language to talk about it. And in most cases, they knew it was something wrong that they should hide. Because gay people are part of my son's everyday life, he has the vocabulary, and it has never occurred to him there is anything wrong with it.

On one occasion after an "I'm gay" announcement, I watched my husband reach out to ruffle our son's hair. "I know, buddy," my husband said to him. "And you're awesome, too." That's how we're handling it. We want him to know we hear him, and that he's wonderful. It feels like the right thing to do, and that's all we have to go by. We don't have any other examples.

We did take a few extra steps. Within a few days we had a quick talk with him about how some people don't like it when people are gay, explaining that those people are wrong. If he hears anyone says anything about being gay like it is something bad, he is to run and get us immediately. We had a brief conversation with his teachers: Our son is identifying as gay. We don't think there's anything wrong with that or with him. And this is the only acceptable opinion on the subject. All his teachers, while surprised, were on board. We learned that he hasn't used that word at school yet, so we'll cross that bridge when the time comes.

I don't think it will always be easy. We don't know what to expect. At this point we aren't looking for trouble, but at the same time we're preparing for it. We know we have a journey ahead of us, just like everyone does. And this is one part of the story of our son and our family.

Do I think this is the last word on his orientation? I don't know. He's 7. Maybe as he gets older he'll tell me something else, but it's just as likely that he won't. But really, that doesn't even matter. What matters is right now. And right now I have a young son who happily announces "I'm gay." And I'm so proud to be his mom.

EDIT:  added link to article

NEW YORK–A majority of New Jersey voters say same-sex marriage should be decided by popular referendum - something Republican Governor Chris Christie has suggested, but Democratic leaders have pointedly refused to do - a poll released on Tuesday said.

Fifty-four percent of New Jersey voters said same-sex couples should be allowed to wed. By about the same margin, voters also thought the issue should be placed on a ballot, according to a survey by the Eagleton Center for Public Interest Polling at Rutgers University.

New Jersey's Democratic leadership, which controls both houses of the legislature, has made gay marriage a top priority this session, saying the state's civil union law does not adequately protect same-sex couples.

The state Senate approved a bill to authorize same-sex marriage 24 to 16 on Monday, and the measure was expected to be approved by New Jersey's lower house when it votes on the issue on Thursday.

But Christie, one of the country's leading Republicans and a possible vice presidential candidate, has vowed to veto the bill if it comes to his desk. Democrats do not appear to have enough votes to override a veto.

Christie has suggested the bill's supporters put the issue directly to voters, and has even suggested the measure could pass, given the support for same-sex marriage revealed by recent polls.

Christie went on to say that activists in the civil rights era "would have been happy to have a referendum," a statement that angered many. He later apologized.

According to the poll, four in 10 voters agreed with the state's Democratic leadership, which has maintained that civil rights issues should never be put to a popular vote.

"Subjecting the equal rights of same-sex couples to the whims of the majority - and to the multimillion-dollar campaign which will inevitably precede the vote from special interests nationwide, intent on preserving the status quo -- to me, that's offensive and unprecedented," Senate Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg, a Democrat, said on Monday, before casting her vote in favor of the same-sex marriage bill.

Weinberg noted that in 1915, New Jersey voters rejected women's sufferage by a 2-to-1 margin. Five years later, women won the right to vote with the passage of an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that was approved by Congress and ratified by state legislatures.

The survey of 914 adults was conducted from February 9 through February 11, and had a margin of error of plus or minus 3.3 percentage points.

Gay marriage is already allowed in New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont plus the District of Columbia. On Monday, Washington state Governor Christine Gregoire signed a bill to make Washington the seventh state to legalize same-sex marriage.

A lawsuit that challenges New Jersey's civil union law is pending.

(Reporting By Edith Honan; Editing by Cynthia Johnston and Eric Beech)

OLYMPIA, Washington (AP) — Gov. Chris Gregoire signed into law a measure that makes Washington state the seventh to legalize same-sex marriage, but opponents almost immediately filed a referendum to challenge the new law, meaning voters likely will have the final say.

Gregoire signed the bill Monday, saying it was "a day historians will mark as a milestone for equal rights, a day when we did what was right, we did what was just, and we did what was fair."

The law takes effect June 7, but opponents on multiple fronts already are preparing to fight.

Gregoire's signature comes nearly a week after a federal appeals court declared California's ban on gay marriage unconstitutional, saying it was a violation of the civil rights of gay and lesbian couples.

A group called Preserve Marriage Washington filed Referendum 73 Monday afternoon. If they collect the more than 120,577 valid voter signatures needed by June 6, the law will be put on hold pending the outcome of a November vote. Separately, an initiative was filed at the beginning of the legislative session that opponents of gay marriage say could also lead to the new law being overturned.

"I think in the end, people are going to preserve marriage," said Joe Fuiten, senior pastor at Cedar Park Church in Bothell who is involved in the referendum effort.

The Washington, D.C.-based National Organization for Marriage, which was involved in ballot measures that overturned same-sex marriage in California and Maine, has promised to work with Preserve Marriage Washington to qualify the referendum to overturn the new law.

A campaign has already formed to fight any challenge to the new law. "Washington United for Marriage," a coalition of gay marriage supporters, formed in November to lobby the Legislature to pass the measure and to run a campaign against any referendum challenging it.

Gay marriage supporters said that while they are ready for a campaign battle, they are allowing themselves to celebrate first.

"You have to relish this moment," said 31-year-old Bret Tiderman of Seattle, who attended Monday's bill signing.

The state reception room at the Capitol was packed with hundreds of gay rights supporters and at least 40 lawmakers from the House and Senate to watch Gregoire sign the bill Monday. Gregoire was greeted with loud cheers.

"No matter what the future holds, nothing will take this moment in history away from us," Sen. Ed Murray, a Seattle Democrat who is gay and has sponsored gay rights legislation for years, told the cheering crowd.

Meanwhile, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, who opposes gay marriage, was in town speaking with conservative voters. Santorum also met with Republican lawmakers at the Capitol Monday afternoon.

Santorum said he encouraged gay-marriage opponents "to continue the fight."

"There are ebbs and flows in every battle, and this is not the final word," he said.

Washington state has had domestic partnership laws since 2007, and in 2009 passed an "everything but marriage" expansion of that law, which was ultimately upheld by voters after a referendum challenge.

Gay marriage is legal in New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington, D.C.

Same-sex marriage also has the backing of several prominent Pacific Northwest businesses, including Microsoft Corp., Nike Inc. and Starbucks Corp.

The New Jersey Senate advanced a gay marriage bill Monday, and a vote is expected in the New Jersey Assembly on Thursday. Gov. Chris Christie, who is pushing for a public vote on the issue, says he'll veto the bill if it comes to his desk.

Legislative committees in Maryland heard testimony on gay marriage last week, and Maine could see a gay marriage proposal on the November ballot.

Proposed amendments to ban gay marriage will be on the ballots in North Carolina in May and in Minnesota in November.

:cheers:

:cheers:

By Edith Honan

NEW YORK–In the fall of 2010, John Grant was rushed to Bellevue Hospital with a shattered skull after being hit by a car in New York City. Grant's partner, Daniel Weiss, arrived at the hospital minutes later, frantic for an update on Grant's condition.

But when Weiss explained who he was, and said that he and Grant had a civil union in New Jersey that effectively gave them the same status as a married couple, the response from Grant's emergency room doctor was, "What is that?"

"In the midst of all of this chaos, this catastrophe, everything kept coming down to the status of our relationship," said Weiss, who works as an immigration lawyer. Grant's sister had to travel to New York from her home in Delaware to sign papers as Grant's next-of-kin, authorizing a craniotomy.

Grant survived the accident, and Weiss said he now carries a health care proxy document -- stating he is authorized to make medical decisions on Grant's behalf -- at all times.

"Frankly, when we had our civil union, I thought it was going to be enough, and the state of New Jersey said, 'This is what you need to do to have all the rights of a married couple,'" Weiss said. "Never in my worst nightmare would I have thought we would have to live through something like this to be proven wrong."

This week, New Jersey's state legislature will vote on a bill to replace civil unions for same-sex couples with marriage, the latest state to take on the contentious issue this year. The Senate will vote on Monday, and the Assembly has a vote set for later in the week.

The New Jersey Senate vote will occur on the same day that Washington state Gov. Christine Gregoire plans to sign a bill that will make Washington the seventh U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage.

Legislation failed in the New Jersey Senate in 2010. Proponents are more confident this time around of the bill clearing both chambers, particularly in the aftermath of a Gallup poll last year that found for the first time a majority of Americans believe gay marriage should be legalized, with 53 percent in favor.

Even should the bill pass the legislature, however, Chris Christie -- the state's Republican governor -- has vowed to veto it, saying he believes marriage should be reserved for unions between a man and a woman.

Both sides say it is unlikely the Democrat-controlled state legislature will have the two-thirds majority to over-ride Christie's promised veto, and Christie has said gay marriage should be put before New Jersey voters in a referendum.

Christie supports civil unions, and has said same-sex couples should have the same rights as heterosexual couples.

But proponents of the gay marriage law say that civil unions are inherently inferior to marriage, largely because employers, hospitals and the public generally do not recognize civil unions and marriage as being one and the same.

"If you call something by two different words, the assumption is that you mean something different," said Hayley Gorenberg, an attorney at Lambda Legal, which filed a lawsuit last summer -- which includes Weiss and Grant -- to have gay marriage recognized in the state.

Stephen Hyland, a lawyer who specializes in same-sex couples law, said the differences between the two institutions become most clear during the most traumatic or joyful times in a person's life -- during a hospital visit, or when a same-sex couple seeks to register as a couple for a birth certificate.

New Jersey is one of four states that allow civil unions -- an institution set up to give the same rights as civil marriage, while reserving marriage for heterosexual couples.

Delaware, Hawaii and Illinois also allow civil unions, and another six, plus the District of Columbia, allow marriage: New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont. These are expected to be joined on Monday by Washington when Gregoire signs that state's law.

Also, at least two other states, Illinois and Maryland, have same-sex marriage legislation under serious consideration.

Some 30 states have banned gay marriage. Last week, California's ban was overturned by a federal appeals court, and the issue could be taken up by the U.S. Supreme Court.

In 2006, New Jersey's high court ruled same-sex couples must be guaranteed the same rights as heterosexual married couples, but left it up to the legislature to address it. That year, the legislature voted to allow civil unions.

Gay couples argued the state had created a two-tier system that was inherently unequal. In many cases -- such as obtaining health care benefits for a partner -- gay couples said the equal rights they are guaranteed by civil unions were not automatically enforced.

Last May, seven gay couples again took the issue to court, calling for marriage rights for gay couples. Gorenberg, the lawyer representing the couples, said she expected the case to come to trial early next year.

Proponents of civil unions as an alternative to marriage argue that, with time, civil unions will come to be better understood -- eliminating the burden on same-sex couples to explain the institution to their employers and others.

Some groups, including some that vigorously opposed the civil unions law five years ago, now say that same-sex couples are seeking to use civil unions as a "stepping stone" to a redefinition of marriage in the state.

"We say that civil unions are working," said Len Deo, the president of the New Jersey Family Policy Council. "Marriage is between a man and a woman. There is no reason we have to defend it to be gender-blind."

He notes the New Jersey Division of Civil Rights have received only about a dozen complaints about civil unions.

Three Muslim men were jailed in Britain on Friday for distributing leaflets calling for homosexuals to be executed.

Ihjaz Ali, Kabir Ahmed and Razwan Javed were the first to be convicted of stirring up hatred on the grounds of sexual orientation, under laws that entered into force in 2010.

They gave out a pamphlet entitled "The Death Penalty?", which quoted Islamic texts that said capital punishment was the only way to rid society of homosexuality.

At Derby Crown Court in central England, taxi driver Ali, 42, was jailed for two years. Ahmed and Javed, both aged 28, were imprisoned for 15 months each.

The pamphlet read: "The death sentence is the only way this immoral crime can be erased from corrupting society and act as a deterrent for any other ill person who is remotely inclined in this bent way.

"The only dispute amongst the classical authorities was the method employed in carrying out the penal code."

It went on to offer burning, being thrown from a high point such as a mountain or building, or being stoned to death as suitable methods.

Judge John Burgess told the men: "You have been convicted of intending to stir up hatred.

"It follows that your intention was to do great harm in a peaceful community."

The leaflet was handed out outside a mosque in Derby and in neighbouring streets in July 2010, to publicise a protest in response to a gay pride parade to be held in the city that month.

Two other leaflets, called "Turn or Burn" and "GAY (God Abhors You)", were also distributed.

"I am obviously keen to dissuade anyone from distributing this sort of material in the future," Burgess said, sentencing the men.

Two other men were found not guilty on the same charges.

Peter And Hazelmary Bull, Christian Hotel Owners, Ordered To Pay Damages To Gay Couple

Two Christian guesthouse owners who were ordered to pay damages after refusing to allow a gay couple to stay in a double room lost their appeal today.

The challenge by Peter and Hazelmary Bull, who run Chymorvah House in Marazion, Cornwall, was rejected by three judges in the Court of Appeal in London.

They had appealed against a conclusion by a judge at Bristol County Court that they acted unlawfully when they turned away Martyn Hall and his civil partner Steven Preddy in September 2008.

Judge Andrew Rutherford ruled in January last year that the Bulls had breached equality legislation and ordered them to pay the couple a total of £3,600 damages.

The appeal judges heard that the Bulls thought any sex outside marriage was a "sin", but denied they had discriminated against Mr Hall and Mr Preddy, from Bristol.

Ben Summerskill, the chief executive of gay rights campaign group Stonewall, said he was "delighted" by the verdict.

"The Court’s decision vindicates Stonewall’s hard lobbying to make it illegal to deny goods or services to someone just because they happen to be gay.

"That obviously includes hotel rooms for many gay holidaymakers, which can only be a good thing in a Jubilee year. I hope Mr and Mrs Bull will now feel content to go home to do God’s good work as Easter approaches, instead of relentlessly pursuing a happy couple through the courts."

For me "Breeding" is cumming inside the ass.

A Leather bar is a good place to start your explorations. I will assume that you are willing to introduce yourself to other bar patrons and staff and discuss your interests in BDSM.

Without the requisite leather gear you may have some difficulty getting the attention of those people you want to meet. So be willing to be creative and bold in your approach to this world of Men you desire. You might try contacting the local Leather Club to attend some of their functions as well.There is no guide for you to follow that I know of but you can accomplish your task given enough effort on your part.