A gay man was discussing why he had not had sex in 5 months with his friend.
So his friend told him to go and see a chinese sex doctor.
When he got there the Doctor told him to take off all him clothes and crawl to the other end of the room and back.
As he was crawling back towards the doctor, he said "Oh yes… I see the problem now"
"What is it?" asked the gay man.
"Your face look like your ass!!!" said the doctor.
By MARILYNN MARCHIONE and MICHAEL CASEY,AP
BANGKOK (Sept. 24) - For the first time, an experimental vaccine has prevented infection with the AIDS virus, a watershed event in the deadly epidemic and a surprising result. Recent failures led many scientists to think such a vaccine might never be possible.
The World Health Organization and the U.N. agency UNAIDS said the results "instilled new hope" in the field of HIV vaccine research, although researchers say it likely is many years before a vaccine might be available.
The vaccine — a combination of two previously unsuccessful vaccines — cut the risk of becoming infected with HIV by more than 31 percent in the world's largest AIDS vaccine trial of more than 16,000 volunteers in Thailand, researchers announced Thursday in Bangkok.
Even though the benefit is modest, "it's the first evidence that we could have a safe and effective preventive vaccine," Col. Jerome Kim told The Associated Press. He helped lead the study for the U.S. Army, which sponsored it with the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.
The institute's director, Dr. Anthony Fauci, warned that this is "not the end of the road," but he said he was surprised and very pleased by the outcome.
"It gives me cautious optimism about the possibility of improving this result" and developing a more effective AIDS vaccine, Fauci said. "This is something that we can do."
The Thailand Ministry of Public Health conducted the study. The U.S. Army has long worked with that government and others to develop and test vaccines and medicines to protect troops and the general public.
The study used strains of HIV common in Thailand. Whether such a vaccine would work against other strains in the U.S., Africa or elsewhere in the world is unknown, scientists stressed.
Even a marginally helpful vaccine could have a big impact. Every day, 7,500 people worldwide are newly infected with HIV; 2 million died of AIDS in 2007, UNAIDS estimates.
"Today marks a historic milestone," said Mitchell Warren, executive director of the AIDS Vaccine Advocacy Coalition, an international group that has worked toward developing a vaccine. Warren was not involved in the study.
"It will take time and resources to fully analyze and understand the data, but there is little doubt that this finding will energize and redirect the AIDS vaccine field," he said in a statement.
The study tested the two-vaccine combination in a "prime-boost" approach, in which the first one primes the immune system to attack HIV and the second one strengthens the response.
They are ALVAC, from Sanofi Pasteur, the vaccine division of French drugmaker Sanofi-Aventis; and AIDSVAX, originally developed by VaxGen Inc. and now held by Global Solutions for Infectious Diseases, a nonprofit founded by some former VaxGen employees.
ALVAC uses canarypox, a bird virus altered so it can't cause human disease, to ferry synthetic versions of three HIV genes into the body. AIDSVAX contains a genetically engineered version of a protein on HIV's surface. The vaccines are not made from whole virus — dead or alive — and cannot cause HIV.
Neither vaccine in the study prevented HIV infection when tested individually in earlier trials, and dozens of scientists had called the new one futile when it began in 2003.
"I really didn't have high hopes at all that we would see a positive result," Fauci confessed.
The results proved the skeptics wrong.
"The combination is stronger than each of the individual members," said the Army's Kim, a physician who manages the Army's HIV vaccine program.
The study tested the combo in HIV-negative Thai men and women aged 18 to 30 at average risk of becoming infected. Half received four "priming" doses of ALVAC and two "boost" doses of AIDSVAX over six months. The others received dummy shots. No one knew who got what until the study ended.
Thanad Yomha, a 33-year-old electrician from southeastern Thailand, said he didn't expect anything in return for volunteering for the project.
"I did this for others," Thanad said. "It's for the next generation."
Participants volunteered for the study and were told about the potential risks associated with receiving the experimental vaccine before agreeing to participate.
All were given condoms, counseling and treatment for any sexually transmitted infections, and were tested every six months for HIV. Any who became infected were given free treatment with antiviral medicines. All participants continued to receive an HIV test every six months for three years after vaccinations ended.
The results: New infections occurred in 51 of the 8,197 given vaccine and in 74 of the 8,198 who received dummy shots. That worked out to a 31 percent lower risk of infection for the vaccine group. Two of the infected participants who received the placebo died.
The vaccine had no effect on levels of HIV in the blood for those who did become infected. That had been another goal of the study — seeing whether the vaccine could limit damage to the immune system and help keep infected people from developing full-blown AIDS.
That result is "one of the most important and intriguing findings of this trial," Fauci said. It suggests that the signs scientists have been using to gauge whether a vaccine was actually giving protection may not be valid.
"It is conceivable that we haven't even identified yet" what really shows immunity, which is both "important and humbling" after decades of vaccine research, Fauci said.
Details of the $105 million study will be given at a vaccine conference in Paris in October.
This is the third big vaccine trial since 1983, when HIV was identified as the cause of AIDS. In 2007, Merck & Co. stopped a study of its experimental vaccine after seeing it did not prevent HIV infection. Later analysis suggested the vaccine might even raise the risk of infection in certain men. The vaccine itself did not cause infection.
In 2003, AIDSVAX flunked two large trials — the first late-stage tests of any AIDS vaccine at the time.
It is unclear whether vaccine makers will seek to license the two-vaccine combo in Thailand. Before the trial began, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said other studies would be needed before the vaccine could be considered for U.S. licensing.
"This is a world first which proves that vaccine development is possible," Supachai said. "But this is not to the level where we can license or manufacture the vaccine yet."
Mass-producing the vaccine, plus how to proceed with future studies, will be discussed among the governments, study sponsors and companies involved in the trial, Kim said. Scientists want to know how long protection will last, whether booster shots will be needed, and whether the vaccine helps prevent infection in gay men and injection drug users, since it was tested mostly in heterosexuals in the Thai trial.
The study was done in Thailand because U.S. Army scientists did pivotal research in that country when the AIDS epidemic emerged there, isolating virus strains and providing genetic information on them to vaccine makers. The Thai government also strongly supported the idea of doing the study.
Associated Press Medical Writer Marilynn Marchione reported from Minneapolis.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2009-09-24 04:22:21
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind – either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgement!"
So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”
hXXp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amn7PXp6Who
Ingredients
* 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon canola oil, divided
* 2 large cloves garlic, minced
* 4 scallions, greens included, rinsed, trimmed and thinly sliced
* 1 tablespoon minced ginger
* 4 cups leftover cooked brown rice
* 3/4 cup finely diced red pepper
* 3/4 cup cooked, shelled edamame
* 1/2 cup fresh or frozen, thawed, corn
* 6 ounces firm tofu, cut into 1/4-inch cubes
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 3 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
Directions
Heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a wok or large skillet until very hot. Add the garlic, scallions and ginger and cook, stirring, until softened and aromatic, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the rice, red pepper, edamame, corn and tofu and cook, stirring, until heated through, about 5 minutes. Make a 3-inch well in the center of the rice mixture. Add 1 teaspoon of canola oil, then add the eggs and cook until nearly fully scrambled. Stir the eggs into the rice mixture, then add soy sauce and incorporate thoroughly. Serve hot.
Nutrition Facts
Nutritional Analysis
Per Serving
Calories
400
Total fat
12.5g
Saturated fat
2g
Monounsaturated fat
4.5g
Polyunsaturated fat
2.5g
Cholesterol
105mg
Sodium
465mg
Protein
16.5g
Carbohydrates
56g
Fiber
7g
A man was drinking at the pub all night.
The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face.
He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he'd just crawl outside, hang out for a while, get some fresh air and hopefully that would sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell again right on his face.
So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried one more time with the same results.
Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.
This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" He asked as he put on an innocent look.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
well leatherbear ~ LBC & Leatherbearcpl will miss you much :cry2: I certainly hope that this departure is because this is what is best for you and not for some other reason> I will not ask for information you are not willing to divulge but know this : If I can be of any assistance as an "EAR" or any other way please feel free to contact me at anytime. [email protected].
:thankyou: :zing: Definitely needed a new solution for this dilemma and he deserved the job!!!!
To properly promote a product potential buyers want to see,touch and test drive the merchandise 
Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death.
The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.
The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He opened the note, and read, "Asshole, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Personally I do not think fetishes are rare but the willingness to talk about them is what is rare.These forums are an excellent place to discuss these fetish/perversion issues and yet folks are still reluctant to do so.For me anything that does not involve underage men is fair game.But then I am an EXPLORER by nature.The stories I could tell are endless 
When we open up about what is labeled a fetish/perversion we increase the chances of finding a like minded individual or converting same to our way of thinking.The "things" I have tried from finding out what makes a man a tick are also endless and have been an incredible addition to my sexual adventures. But then I am a believer in "try it you might like it" attitude about sex.
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late.
One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep.
Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up.
His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.
He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air.
The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face.
I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"
Grandma Goes to Court
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.
Defense! Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!
Two guys are in a Gay Strip Club, one is sitting in front of the other. A hunk comes on stage and starts stripping.
The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"
Then the first guy turns around and says, " Hey Paul, shut up!"
Then two hunks come out and start stripping. Paul, once again, starts, "Yeah baby..mmmm….yeah!"
Once again the guy in front turns around and tells Paul to be quiet.
So three hunks come out and start stripping. Paul is silent.
The guy in front says, "Hey Paul, where's all your excitement now?"
Paul says, "All over your back!"
That about covers the topic!!!